I don’t use deoderant; I don’t feel the difference and I never really cared much about my smell; but my parent keeps bringing it up and it’s annoying.
Also, what’s wrong with smell? Human smells differ anyway.
Your parent keep bringing it up because your smell is offensive. They’re trying to help you learn the things that will help you get a job, or have friends, or go on dates. In short, they’re being a parent. Help them help you.
Are you doing everything that will better your chances at getting a job or a date?
That’s not the point, and one’s offensive smell is a massive barrier to employment.
I really don’t understand people like you.
I find perfume highly offensive.
The dose makes the poison. A little scent can be nice, but it needs to be a hint. The problem is that most folks seem to think they need to overpower all other smells in every room they’re in. That’s offensive for sure.
I have learned the best way to put on perfume is to spray it so thin, that other people can only smell it when they hug you. That’s a special and intimate moment for them then.
one’s offensive smell is a massive barrier to employment
Of course. I know. Everybody knows. I’m simply suggesting that something being a fact isn’t making it okay or good.
I really don’t understand people like you.
What kind of person do you think I am?
What kind of person do you think I am?
A contrarian who would rather play these stupid games instead of helping a comrade out by recognizing a problem they have and giving good advice? You’re not helping here, you’re just enabling poor hygiene because you’re way too preoccupied with playing the devil’s advocate.
You said
Are you doing everything that will better your chances at getting a job or a date?
in response to someone saying
They’re trying to help you learn the things that will help you get a job, or have friends, or go on dates. In short, they’re being a parent. Help them help you.
Notice how you conveniently left out the part about this helping to get a person friends? Instead, you fixated on them being hygienic only for the sake of getting a job or dates. Why did you do that? Surely you understand the importance of hygiene in relation to making/having friends-- something extremely important for one’s mental health?
Stop playing this game. It especially sucks because you’re playing this contrarian game when someone in a bad situation is basically asking for a reality check, but instead of giving them a reality check you’re just entertaining/enabling their incorrect beliefs.
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I give up. You are simply waaaaay to ingrained with trodden paths to be able to look left or right. You only know forwards, and any deviation feels like an insult to you. I don’t have a problem with every form of conservatism, but the one that can’t explain itself and simply does things because they were “always” done is dangerous.
I know that you are sure that you’re progressive and shit, but you’re not. You are hung up in old ways that you don’t question, and hate on those who do.
By the way, I have a buddy who doesn’t use deo. It’s okay for me. It stinks a bit when he comes, but I forget about after a few moments, and from then on it’s okay. He asked once if it is okay for me, and I replied that it is, and that I think it is cool that he does what he wants despite social pressure.
And you’re suggesting that this is wrong?
Translation: "I don’t mind if people fart in my presence, in fact I have a friend who farts near me and I think it is cool that he just does what he wants despite social pressure. Are you suggesting that this is wrong?"
Dude. Are you seriously suggesting that people can’t be fine with farts or something?
I never thought that people THIS square would be found on Lemmy.
Well, I’m both employed and happily married, but you can bet if my boss or my wife told me I needed to use deodorant, I wouldn’t argue with them. C’mon, man.
Are you doing it just with that example (deodorant), or with anything else as well? That was my question. If you’re not doing that, it would be interesting for me to explore the differences, and why you wouldn’t do other things with your body when others are requesting it.
If it’s a matter of hygiene, then I would listen. If it’s a matter of personal taste, then I would see whether I share their taste. It’s pretty simple, really. I don’t want to be offensive, so that tends to be my compass.
i might get downvoted, but i think it’s a valid question. however, i think most people are, which makes it a bit of a strange question. i think it might be better in its own thread.
The downvotes are quite telling. :D
Telling of what? It’s unclear what the point of your previous comment is and as it stands, it is unhelpful.
Is it unclear to you, or do you suggest that others might not understand it?
your name is beginning to make a lot of sense
Yes, everybody else is wrong and you’re right. Is that what you really think?
No. Why would I? This post and the votes show that there are different opinions for multiple people. So why would I think that this is literally “me vs everyone else”?
Do you think that this is the case?
I think the downvotes are telling that your opinion is absurd and very weird.
“My friend stinks and I thin it’s cool that he stinks and doesn’t care about society” is basically your argument here. Lay off the pipe, I’m all for smoking weed but you’ve smoked yourself stupid if you really believe the nonsense you’re spewing in this thread.
You really got me wrong. This is the interpretation most people here express, and that’s not how it is. Neither for me, nor my friend. Quite the opposite.
You literally said your friend stinks and that you think it’s cool that he cool that he does what he wants despite social pressure.
Smelling nice or even neutral isn’t something to benefit you, its so everyone else doesn’t have to experience disgusting and gross smells in public. Your parents are trying to help you not be rude to them and other people, listen to them.
Exactly what I was going to point out. You might not mind your own smell, but other certainly will, and deodorant can be a good way to mitigate that problem.
It can be easy to be nose-blind to your own smell, trust me its easy to stink enough to be offensive to others but not notice yourself.
They’re doing you a favor by letting you know. Just take the extra moment and put some on in the morning. Just don’t overdo it and douse yourself in body spray; too much body spray is nasty too.
So, from one autistic person to another… smells can be rude.
Smells are a sensory thing for me. There’s a person in my building who sweats too much. His stink is everywhere and it causes me to gag.
It’s an evolutionary thing to generally be okay with our own personal smells, because it wouldn’t be helpful if we gagged at our own stink all the time (this is why the smell of our own poop usually doesn’t bother us. Also, I think mothers usually aren’t as bothered by the smell of their own baby’s poop for similar reasons). But someone else’s stink can tell us they’re unhygienic or sick.
You don’t need to smell like roses… you just need to not stink. There are unscented deodorants. I personally currently use apple cider vinegar as a natural deodorant. Although I’m starting to miss the convenience of regular deodorant.
I can’t tell you what to do… if you want to stink, stink. I’m just explaining why people like deodorant.
Oh yeah. Sometimes its better to use deodorant to reduce distraction.
Yes, of course. Its not about “feeling different” its about calming down all the bacteria in your under arms that make offensive odors. You might not care, but the people around you can clearly notice the odor coming off of you. Even if you’re a clean person, having odors like that makes you come off as a dirty or unhygienic person.
Yep. It’s your your body that smells, it’s the bacteria living on your skin and feeding on your sweat. Maybe this fact will make you wear deodorant.
Yes please wear deodorant especially if people are complaining about your smell.
We didn’t need deoderant when we wandered about the open savanna, but if you’re living with a bunch of other apes, in a cramped city, humans get smelly, so we all need to bathe regularly, and if you’re still a bit swetty, stick something else on.
If I’m around people, yes. If I’m just at home, no. I shower usually every 1-2 days but even so, I mostly wear deodorant when I’m going to be around people because I think it’s the considerate thing to do. Also as another user said, body odor often is correlated with hydration, or lack thereof. So drink water (pee should be clear) and that will help.
It’s one of those things where I think it just boils down to being considerate of others, and realizing that using deodorant is a pretty small measure to take in order to prevent creating an unpleasant experience for other people.
This thread’s kind of depressing to read. Come on people-- this is basic hygiene/consideration, it’s not rocket science. Brush your teeth (and tongue) when you wake up and before you go to sleep. Shower every 1-2 days (use soap everywhere below your face), and wear deodorant if you’re going to be around people especially indoors.
This thread’s kind of depressing to read. Come on people-- this is basic hygiene/consideration, it’s not rocket science. Brush your teeth (and tongue) when you wake up and before you go to sleep. Shower every 1-2 days (use soap everywhere below your face), and wear deodorant if you’re going to be around people especially indoors.
i’m hope i don’t come off as aggressive or anything, not my intention. just remember that those things aren’t easy for everyone (but i agree, definitely more considerate).
i don’t brush often due to many health problems, one major one being OCD. i can only brush during certain time slots, which rarely occur. i know my breath is atrocious. fortunately, i imagine a mask helps. i’m also not around people often.
i shower every 3-4 days, sometimes less often (though i don’t like showering less often). i also don’t use much soap unless i’m taking my eczema medication or waxing. and of course i use soap in the private areas, because i’ve had c. diff.
might sound gross, but i’ve asked honest people and they swear i don’t smell. and they’re the kind of people who have told me when i do smell. they know about my bathing habits. i just don’t smell (breath i’m sure stinks though, i haven’t asked because i know). if i did smell i would definitely do something about it. like our stomach, we have probiotics on our skin, and if our skin biome is healthy we generally won’t stink. now being that i have eczema i probably don’t have the best skin biome, but there’s certainly something good there. when my physical health issues were EXTREMELY severe and i hadn’t bathed in two months, my partner at the time told me i didn’t stink. and it wasn’t to be kind, she was genuinely surprised because, you know, two months without bathing, a person should probably stink.
there’s a guy in my building who always stinks. from conversations it seems he showers several times a day. i suspect he has a medical condition that i desperately wish he would get checked out, because i’ve nearly vomited around him several times. i know him well enough to know he’s on medicaid, so this is something that would be covered.
so everyone’s different. some of us can get away with showering less frequently, others can’t. i believe there’s a gene that makes your sweat not smell. just know your body and do your best not to be stinky imo
I don’t think you’re coming off as aggressive.
When it’s a matter of mental health getting in the way of hygiene, I definitely am a lot more understanding. But if it’s someone who just doesn’t put on deodorant or doesn’t shower regularly because they think they don’t stink but others do, then I think it’s a little different.
I’ll add that some peoples’ shower technique is terrible. I’m a guy and I’ve met countless men who legitimately believe they don’t need to wash their feet, armpits, butt or dick because they’re under the impression that the soapy water from the rest of their body makes its way over those regions so there’s no need to actually lather up and wash them. Also, drinking water helps a TON with body odor whereas drinking other stuff i.e. soft drinks just contributes towards body odor.
But yeah, half the reason why I try not to judge strangers when it comes to hygiene stuff is because as yo said, I really have no clue what’s going on with their physical or mental health.
I’ve actually read that using soap everywhere actually might be harming our skin barrier if showering every day. It seems soap on the armpits, genitals, and any stinky parts are the only place you should wash daily.
The article in question: https://web.archive.org/web/20220121065824/https://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/25/magazine/my-no-soap-no-shampoo-bacteria-rich-hygiene-experiment.html
Also, haven’t read it yet, but “The Joy of Sweat” by Sarah Everts seems like a good look at sweat.
But also, yeah use deodorant around other people. I’d suggest something unscented because really fragrant smells can be just as aggressively stinky (in the opposite way) as natural sweat.
I read a book on the topic and ever since I’ve only washed my stinky bits every 2-3 days. You can overwash, and it does do damage to your skin barrier. Sorry, I know your post was from weeks ago but this is knowledge everyone should know.
No worries about the length of time. Would you happen to know the book you read? I’d be real interested in reading it! I’m very aware of skin barrier damage (had acne when a teenager and killed the barrier so I kept getting acne until I healed that up!) but never thought about those stinky bits having their own…something to ponder on
I had to dig but I found it. Title Beyond Soap: The Real Truth About What You Are Doing to Your Skin and How to Fix It for a Beautiful, Healthy Glow
Oh wow thank you! Added to my book list, much appreciated!
It’s one of those things where I think it just boils down to being considerate of others, and realizing that using deodorant is a pretty small measure to take in order to prevent creating an unpleasant experience for other people.
Yeah. I forgot to add “(unless if the smell causes problems)” to my post.
but my parent keeps bringing it up and it’s annoying.
^ If it’s bothering your parents enough for them to bring it up and you presumably live with them, I guarantee you someone who doesn’t live with you is going to be more bothered than your parents about the smell.
I’d recommend Mitchum Men’s Clinical unscented deodorant. It’s (obviously) unscented, and works very well (easily a full 24 hours). It’s a little pricey but you only need one or two clicks on the dial to have more than enough per armpit.
Also, I’m not sure what your shower routine is like but half the reason I shower is just because it’s an enjoyable experience away from people that I can just enjoy in silence. 10 minutes of bliss.
People have senses and they mostly can’t control how they feel the stimuli presented to them. It’s ok to not have a smell, but having a strong smell of “something”, good or bad, intentional or not, might come as offensive to people as they do not consent to feeling it.
Is this a liberal trying to make us look bad lmao? I mean really?
I think it’s best not to worry about what people think.
Except with body odor. When people say you stink, care about what they think.
Uh, no?
sorry, paranoia is a good friend of ours
I mean, let’s not pretend this isn’t an actual problem. It happens to conservatives, it happens to liberals and it happens to leftists. It’s one of those things where I think it shouldn’t be met with ridicule or disbelief, but instead it should result in an honest discussion.
I do, I shower almost every day but in some situations I wouldn’t feel comfortable without it. I use the sensitive one that pretty much doesn’t do much ^^
Yes. It is very important otherwise people might get very uncomfortable being around you. That creates barriers when making friends, getting jobs, etc. One other thing - deoderant is not the same as antiperspirant and vice versa. Use both.
I use deodorant if I’m going to meet other people of if it’s hot outside.
But there are too many people trying to use deodorant to hide the fact that they don’t shower regularly.
Yes, its very important, but try to keep the deodorant away from industrial smells.
I don’t wear deodorant on the weekends, but I do when I go to work. Unless you’re going to start living outside, you should probably find a deodorant that works for you and start using it. If someone is telling you that you smell bad, especially someone who cares about you, then take there advice and do something about it.
You say you don’t really care about your smell, but your family obviously do. Since you don’t care just start using some every day. It makes a world of difference and you don’t even have to use that much.
