• gmtom@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    You’re gifted enough to cruise through the first few stages of your education without trying, so you forge an identity as “the smart kid” but never build up skills in learning or studying, so when you finally get to a level where your natural intelligence can’t carry you anymore you can’t keep up with the people who did learn those skills and you start to fail and lose your identity as the smart kid which causes you to break down because that’d how you defined yourself for so long… or so I’ve heard.

      • 7heo@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        This is actually the reason. Because there is no such thing as “natural intelligence”. Not more than there is “natural strength”. There are natural predispositions, yes, but what you get is function of what training effort you put in. Whether you realise, and/or like, putting effort into training your intelligence, is is another thing. So people who are “above average” were in a favorable environment that fostered their development without it feeling forced, or unnatural. And then, when the environment was replaced by the school’s, it sadly didn’t foster personal development anymore. I would argue we would need to redesign education, now that we have internet. We don’t have to design courses around physical limits.

        • MonkderZweite@feddit.ch
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          1 year ago

          Because there is no such thing as “natural intelligence”.

          Weell, some children have it easier to comprehend stuff on the logical/abstract level than others. Which feeds their curiousity. Which trains their intelligence…

        • Nowyn@sopuli.xyz
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          1 year ago

          It is also not always about our intelligence but our skill set. I rarely have hard time learning when I want, but issue in my case has been in addition to probable ADHD and mental health issues that the system wasn’t designed to teach me studying.

    • spirinolas@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      That stang…

      Also, when you see it happen and you actually start trying and do better but some teachers always give you a lower mark to “motivate” you so you’ll “try even harder”.

    • Karyoplasma@discuss.tchncs.de
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      1 year ago

      First half describes me, second part does not. Never struggled in school or university (although I did fail lectures because I was too lazy to show up for exams).

      But I also never defined myself about being “the smart kid”, I always rejected that notion. Society didn’t and still projected it onto me. That’s why I’m breaking down crying every other day. I always tried to help people that do struggle, I always tried to keep my “gift” as far away from conversation as possible. It didn’t matter, I’m a failure.

  • snooggums@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    I am good with knowing my deficiencies. What sucks is being told that they are my fault because I should be “smart enough to overcome them”.

      • snooggums@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Or being a jack of all trades and getting potshots for not being an expert in everything just because you pick up the basics quickly.

    • SolarNialamide@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      It’s actually insane how many teachers and other education professionals waved me off with ‘you’re smart enough, just try harder’ while I was obviously suicidally depressed and extremely dysfunctional. Having undiagnosed autism because I was a teenage girl in the '00s was fun.

      • snooggums@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Most people just don’t understand that being really good at something doesn’t mean you can’t be terrible at something else. Like, I can problem solve a wide variety of things, but there are a few things that I just have no success at even if I know the problem and the likely solution.

        The most infuriating one for me is that if I can’t see something then I cannot line it up right. A screw or bolt out of view means I have a 50/50 chance of ever getting it started even though I know how I can move it to fit in. Like I know to tilt and whatever, but without a visual frame it becomes impossible. A ton of people just yell me I am not trying hard enough, even though attempting to learn for decades hasn’t worked out for me.

        But with even the slightest view I can get it started no problem. Being told I am not trying hard enough is infuriating when I am just being honest that it is my limitation.

        • Literati@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Alternatively, I’ve met plenty of people who are so desperate to climb the ladder that, even knowing full well their deficiencies, they climb to a level where those deficiencies become detrimental for everyone around them.

          If you aren’t a good organizer, and climb into an organization centric position, that’s 100% on you. If you aren’t a good leader and take a coordinating position, that’s on you. If you aren’t good at lining up blind screws, and you knew that was a core competency for your job when you took it, that’s on you. It’s not that I expect you to be “smart enough to overcome” whatever you’re bad at, but you shouldn’t be in positions where something you’re bad at, but can’t overcome, is a major part of your duties.

          At that point, yes, I’m going to be “mean” and directly point out your deficiencies.

          Can you tell I had a fun meeting today?

    • whofearsthenight@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Ah, the ol’ “here’s the test here’s exactly what you need to do to be successful” followed by “lol that was never the real test.”

  • The Menemen!@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    The guilt that “you could have done more with your life”, despite being a successful engineer with a happy family.

    • OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      “Gurtaj is a principle software engineer at Google you know! You used to be the same grade in school. What happened?”

      “Dad, I’m running a multimillion dollar startup right now”

      “Tsk tsk”

      • Lepsea@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        “with all that million dollar you still can’t be a doctor, did you know your nephew could play violins blindfolded while performing a surgery when he was still 3 years old. What a disappointment”

      • TechieDamien@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        Meanwhile,

        “Osrs is running a multimilion dollar startup you know! You used to be the same grade at school. What happened?”

        “Dad, I’m a principle software engineer at Google right now!”

        “Tsk tsk”

    • SolarNialamide@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I had to do an official test along with a psychological examination for reasons when I was almost 18 years old, so I know at some point I was in the blue zone or above, but it doesn’t really fucking matter when you have autism, a mood disorder and have been neglected by your parents so you never learned things like determination or frustration tolerance. I think I shaved a solid 10 IQ points off anyway from almost a decade of substance abuse issues, so now I’m just autistic and dysfunctional without the gifted part.

      • areyouevenreal@lemmy.antemeridiem.xyz
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        1 year ago

        Serious question: what kind of drug abuse does it take to shave off 10 IQ points? I’ve done my fair share and would prefer not to have that happen to me - if it hasn’t already.

        • SolarNialamide@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          A ton of amphetamines and other stimulant research chemicals and a fuckton of alcohol. I think probably the latter is mostly to blame.

  • tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip
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    1 year ago

    There’s that joke about wearing regular clothes on Halloween to go as the “gifted kid”, and when people ask what you’re supposed to be you sigh and say you were supposed to be a lot of things.

  • Kerrigor@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    I’m in this picture and it makes me keenly aware of what I could accomplish if I didn’t just coast by

      • KreekyBonez@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        wise words. I started just playing to my strengths a few years ago, instead of overachieving for the nebulous award of being “the best”, and my life has gotten immensely more fulfilling.

        my current employer isn’t asking me to be the best in my field, just good at what I do, and that feels great. I get shit done, and don’t feel the need to constantly reinvent the wheel. or feel the stress of failure when something is over my head.

  • Wugmeister@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 year ago

    Fun fact: programs for gifted kids have historically been far more underfunded than programs for other exceptional students.

    By the way, the euphemism of “exceptional children” pleases my autistic brain way more than any other word for Special Education students. It has all the compliment-sounding qualities of “Special Needs” but is even more literal than any previous euphemism. It literally means “kids that teachers need to make exceptions for”

    • Misconduct@startrek.website
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      “Gifted” programs royally screwed my education. I had huge gaps in my knowledge because they decided that being top percentile in reading/writing (and being the weird kid) meant I could just skip out on classes for special little weird classes or sit with higher grade classes. I would LOVE to know wtf they thought they were doing moving a kid around that much in 3rd-5th. I suffered the hardest with math. I was missing bits and pieces, which is pretty gd important in math, and I’d still somehow get the answers right but talked to about my overly complicated or ✨creative✨ solutions lol. Even now I hide my work if I need to solve something because I’m probably doing it weird…

      • space_comrade [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        Skipping classes as a “gifted” kid always seemed like a very weird concept to me, you’re making the child lose a lot of interaction with their peers for dubious reasons. It seems to me like it should only be reserved for the most bulging hyperwrinkled brains, like those kids that finish college by the time they’re 16 or whatever that would obviously be extremely understimulated when going the normal pace. Even then you could argue the gigabrain kid would probably benefit greatly from socializing with their peers, I mean where’s the rush really? They’re young, they can always learn more later.

        • kristina [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          those kids that finish college by 16 usually just have parents that pay a fuckton of money to skip their kids through the honestly very simple and bleak public schooling experience. has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with not dragging out units for ages and paying a small fortune to get private tutors and certified testing done.

    • xX_fnord_Xx@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Truth. When I was in the gifted reading program us dweebs had to temporarily be relocated to the teachers break room.

      I’m sure the teachers that shared that break time with us didn’t enjoy it.

    • Duamerthrax@lemmy.ml
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      I was placed in remedial classes for a perceived reading/language disability. I have nothing to show for years of “exceptional” education.

  • talizorah@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    I still suffer from this. Promising early start, intense self-confidence issues and depression by the end.

    • The Cuuuuube@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      The secret is we’re all gifted and talented in our own ways. Our society is structured to benefit and work for a specific kind of gifted and talented. You got to an early start, and then when it was determined your talents weren’t profitable, the problem was framed as you wasting them instead or the system failing you.

      Not to mention our current identification of gifted and talented is basically just “So you know how that one kid has ADHD and his lack of structure in their home life results in poor grades? Well we put them in the remedial class. There we will teach them coping and organization skills. Meanwhile, this other kid? They also have ADHD but we don’t realize it because their grades are fantastic. Turns out their home life is stressful in a specific way that means they get good grades, but they don’t really know why or what structure is helping them. I school we will put them in the gifted and talented class. There, they’ll be in an unstructured environment where they can learn and explore at their own pace and OH NO NOW THEY’RE ANXIOUS AND UPSET BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE THEY WERE THRIVING IN THE STRUCTURE OF A REGULAR CLASSROOM”

      Our education system is not based on individual need and instead on assuming everyone is basically the same, just more or less advanced

      • talizorah@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        I definitely identify with the second kid. Being tossed around so much because they tried to figure me out and failed definitely doesn’t help. “You’re good! But not good enough.”

        • The Cuuuuube@beehaw.org
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          I had a moment in elementary school I’m still working through. I was in 5th grade and reading a book I thought was really fun and exciting and I was enjoying it. My teacher pulled me aside one day to inform me I was underperforming my reading level because the book was written for a 3rd grade reading level and I was capable of reading at a 9th grade reading level. But here’s the thing: what 10-year-old wants to read a 9th grade set of books? What 10-year-old wants to read To Kill a Mockingbird?

          I honestly haven’t had the enthusiasm or fervor for reading ever since. I’ve had bouts of being able to focus on reading for a few months at a time, but the energy always burns out after a while. It’s something I have to focus on when I’m in a book store or library that most of the printed word is, at the end of the day, schlock, and that’s a GOOD THING. We all like schlock-y things. Whatever schlock that it is that you’re into, you’re into it. Maybe you like three camera sitcoms even though the laugh track is cheesy. It could be you like superhero movies, even though Marvel puts out 3 a year, and it’s hard to keep up with them and everyone you know has been less enthusiastic about them ever since Endgame. Perhaps you love video games, but you spend some time every day investing time into a completely non-challenging game on your phone. I’d even include foodies who go to Taco Bell every so often. We all have non-challenging schlock that we enjoy and consume, and that’s OKAY. It’s what makes the non-schlock elevate itself to a higher level when you experience it.

          So bottom line.

          Don’t let anyone detract your schlock. They have their schlock, you don’t judge them for it. Love your schlock unironically. You’re beautiful and perfect, and so is your schlock.

  • Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 year ago

    This is funny, but even the most intelligent people are inflicted with this. Don’t let it keep you down, we cannot be good at everything.

    • relevants@feddit.de
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      Intelligence also doesn’t necessarily translate to actual success. I’ve been through numerous assessments as a child that confirmed I am comfortably in the “green zone” (if measured by IQ, that is), but I also have pretty severe ADHD so I can only really make use of my brain for short periods of time.

      I can get a week’s worth of work done in a day, but only once a week, and I spend the rest of the week wondering where I’d be if only I could work like that every day. I was also a decent student in school/uni but never near the top of the class, because I couldn’t bring myself to study for anything more than a few days before the exam.

    • alcasa@lemmy.sdf.org
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      Well, there necessarily need to also exist below average Harvard students. Its probably more of a shock to have the one thing you might have been proud of, being rather smart, be taken away once you get there and realize you are probably at most average and have to find a new identity

    • mayo@lemmy.today
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      I think a good part of that is because ‘average human’ is not a good way to represent who we are individually. I’m probably above average at specific things but in many other respects I’m average or below or wherever I’m supposed to be. Maybe most people are above average even though on average most of us are average.

      Fully above average people IMO are like astronauts and stuff. We all live in the shadow of that former navy seal/doctor/astronaut who is like 45 or some crazy shit.

    • areyouevenreal@lemmy.antemeridiem.xyz
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      This really depends on the distribution. If some or all of the people in that bottom 20% are very, very stupid it could actually work out that 80% are above average, because the average is being pulled down by the people at the bottom.

      This is why we have different averages like mean, median, mode, and RMS because they each give you different interpretations of the raw data. For example the mean electro motive force of the grid is around 0 volts because it spends as much time in the negative as the positive. We use RMS here because negative numbers become positive when squared.

      • model_tar_gz@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Just the fact that you’re thinking about this in terms of a distribution that’s non-normal indicates that you’re on the right side of that distribution.

    • gmtom@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Flat earthers and anti vaxxers bring the average down far enough to make that possible.

  • RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz
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    Ah, I see the stereotype of everyone thinking of themselves as “lazy genius” is something we’ve carried over from Reddit. We’re all above average intelligent and could really achieve something if we just bothered to work hard and apply ourselves!

    lol

    • DrGumby@lemm.ee
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      Yeah, one of the most important epiphanies I’ve ever had is realizing I’m not a lazy genius, I’m just lazy. It was a rude awakening to realize that I need to work twice as hard to keep up. But it was probably the best thing to happen to me!

  • lib1 [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    I like the term “twice exceptional”. All of my biggest strengths are aspects of myself that come with tradeoffs. For 20 years straight, I was praised for the strengths and scolded for the tradeoffs. Motherfucker, you can’t enjoy how quickly I learn things I’m interested in and also treat me like I’m lazy when you expect me to sustain equal amounts of interest in 10 different things that bore me and I fail. You can’t enjoy all the art and tech I make and then get annoyed when it’s difficult to break me out of a hyperfixation.

    I firmly believe that the tortured artist stereotype is bullshit. There’s nothing about being an artist that requires you to be miserable. But we sure do treat people like shit when their brains work differently.

    • ButtholeSpiders@startrek.websiteOP
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      The later half is so true, early on when you’re a statistical anomaly you can get special treatment, but once you become a small problem or the skill backfires they blow up as if it couldn’t have been seen coming. They expect 100% efficiency like you’re a battery to sap and don’t care how it affects you mentally.

  • rubpoll [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    The creator of this comic is a self-described pro-sweatshop neoliberal, which explains the “woe is me, I’m too smart for my own good” delusions.

    • scubbo@lemmy.ml
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      Sure, because something so egregious would definitely show up in a Google search for “Zach Weinersmith sweatshop”, right?

      Unless…you’re exaggerating on the Internet to stir up outrage?

    • lib1 [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      Yeah the comic reeks of PMC brainworms. I say that as someone with PMC brainworms. “You’re special enough to make decisions, but make sure you cultivate too much self-doubt to make true change.”

    • tweeks@feddit.nl
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      Do you have a source for that? I cannot find anything about it online in Google, Wiki or even in ChatGPT delusions.

    • jackalope@lemmy.ml
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      I don’t think he’s ever come out in favor of sweatshops? Maybe you’re think of Matt ygelsia from vox.

  • Zatore@lemm.ee
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    I don’t mind being aware of everything, but I do mind that nobody else is

    • ButtholeSpiders@startrek.websiteOP
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      As you get older, you sort of get used to the fact that the majority of your fellow passengers are oblivious to the fact we’re on a bus speeding towards a cliff, driven by depravity and delusions of grandeur. And you realize short of a miracle, nothing is going to change it. It’s either that or you go mad. ¯\(ツ)

    • RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz
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      You have the downside of having to shoehorn being in the green region to every conversation. A real burden