My wife and I make okay money in a middle class area, but, due to a combination of good luck, and contrived to circumstances, we recently got to watch a college football game in the stadium’s super executive corporate sponsor level suite. It was awesome. Open bar, amazing catered food, and people networking all around me who are clearly in the c-suite of their respective companies. I had a list of crazy things I was going to say if someone asked me what I did, but it never came up.
I got very randomly bumped up to first class on a transatlantic flight for business. I do not travel much for business, especially internationally. So, I definitely should not have had priority over more regular accounts. I have to assume I just got lucky, and that flight happened to have no frequent flyers.
It was an eye opening experience. I got to hang out in a secret lounge. When my flight was ready to board, multiple staff escorted us to the gate. When we landed, we took a private van to a secret side entrance, which had its own first class only passport check. We were brought to another secret first class lounge through hidden back hallways to wait for our connections. The lounge looked down over the terminal, and the exit was a nondescript door you’d assume was a maintenance entrance.
Being around that level of service and the other people in first class, it’s clear the wealthy live in another world. I looked up how much that ticket normally goes for after, and full price is for many people a yearly salary. It was nice, but it seems like a crazy way to divide resources.
I got invited to some sort of literary award ceremony at the French embassy a few years back. I, uh, severely underdressed for the occasion. I got the invite for participating in the Albertine book store’s bookclub, and for whatever reason, my brain went, “I can show up to this like I would dress for a bookclub session, it’s the same people.” Spoiler, it was not, and I really should have been at least in a button up and slacks, rather than my hoodie and jeans. As luck would have it, the gentleman who won the award, Emmanuel Dongala, was sat next to me during the speeches. I can still remember the look of “What the classless, American fuck is this guy doing?” as he took his seat next to me.
On the other hand, I went to my first opera at the NY Metropolitan Opera last year basically dressed the same way, and it was surprisingly entirely fine. Turns out, very few people want to be sat for hours in formal attire when hardly anyone can see you in the dark, anyway.
Which opera did you see? I am an opera lover and I’ve seen people wearing tuxedos with flip-flops, and a dog wearing a rhinestone necklace.
I went and saw Nabucco. Was pretty enjoyable, and I got to sit in the orchestra section with one of the cheaper tickets they release the day of the performance. Would go back for another if I could avail myself of the program again.
I had also deliberately picked one of the shorter operas they put on that season, wasn’t trying to commit to some 5 hour monstrosity straight out the gate.
Nabucco is a good way to begin with opera indeed! Very early Verdi and definitely not the quality of his later most famous works but still pretty amazing. The role of Abigaille is called a voice wrecker so it’s not often performed. Glad you liked.
Honestly, where I live now.
I rent a bare-bones townhouse. Two rooms, and a basement with an old washer and dryer, and a small garage.
I have always lived in apartments, sometimes with fewer rooms than people. Having an entire place of my own (that’s not a studio apartment) is sometimes unbelievable to me. A washer and dryer downstairs? No quarters? I don’t have to look for a spot, I have a garage? I don’t have to cram my entire life in one room, I have an “office!?” This will likely be the closest to “home owner” I’ll get and it still feels unreal after almost two years here. It’s certainly not going into anyone’s Pinterest board, and there are issues, but I always feel “bougie” when I open the garage 🤣
I felt like that when we rented the townhouse. It was also pretty bare bones, but it was nice to have a house. Sadly the landlord evicted us so his kid could have his place, so I ended up in an apartment again, and now my rent is so much more as we lived in the townhouse for so long. I do have a washer and dryer and dishwasher though so at least that is nice and it’s beautifully renovated but it still sucks. We had this incredible patio garden.
One time I went to the restaurant DAMON BAEHREL. I was informed afterwards that it had a 10-year waiting list and only seated 100 people a month. Despite having regularly commuted between the Midwest and the East Coast, getting there felt like the longest road trip I’ve ever taken since I had to go with my mother-in-law and some of it is on a gravel road.
I had to Google DAMON BAEHREL to spell it and I’m not going to bother retyping it.
It was far and away the most pretentious, absurd, cartoonishly fancy experience I’ve ever had, and I’ve dressed up in antique ceremonial Moroccan robes for a banquet at the art museum in the city I grew up in. At the art museum I sat next to the mayor’s mother in a room of 200 people conversely, about 30 people total could fit into DAMON BAEHREL.
I thought the art museum banquet was fancy, but when I was little I thought Boston Market and IBC root beer were fancy.
DAMON BAEHREL was the kind of place that serves a dozen ‘courses’ but each one is like one cracker one sliver of cheese and one spritz of condiment with maybe a sliver of sausage made from some bespoke farm animal. He insisted that the water we were drinking was actually unreduced tree sap. Everything was served on various slabs of wood some with the bark still on it. The slabs were so much larger than the food It looked like putting a coin on a serving platter for each course.
I just felt embarrassed every time I looked at the Damon and his staff. They had clearly heard his bullshit so many times that it was hard for them to feign credulity anymore.
Anyway, that shit was way too fancy for me. Clearly it was just wasted on me.
Yeah, but how was that food?
I just tried a fine dining restaurant for the first time this past weekend.
I was just curious after watching a bunch of cooking competitions on Netflix about how good that kind of food could be so decided to find a Michelin star restaurant and give it a try.
While the portions were small, the food was on another level. Even the “worst” of it was only that because it wasn’t amazing, but still really good.
The food was so good that when I got home and snacked that night, it was hard to enjoy any of my usual favorite snacks because it all felt so basic after that.
It was fancy in other regards, too. Like when my buddy went to the bathroom, someone came over and folded his cloth napkin rather than leave it bunched up on the table.
Plus, even though the portions were tiny and we joked about whether we’d need to stop for fast-food afterwards, by the end of the 9 or so courses, I felt completely satisfied. Even the snacking I mentioned was more due to the munchies than actual hunger.
It was expensive though. Two taster menu plus two drinks each came to about 500 CAD plus tip. And it was one of the cheaper options. There was a two Michelin star sushi place that advertised seats starting at 800 and I’m not even sure that includes any food, though I think it gets the “chef cooks what he wants” menu, which tbf would probably be way better than what I’d want anyways.
This place only needed to be booked like a month in advance, so the place you’re talking about sounds like it’s on another level itself. Though I’m curious how much that other level translates to better food.
Fine dining is one thing but the ultra exclusive, incredibly pretentious, top of the range place like DAMON BAEHREL is on another level entirely and has ceased, long ago, to be about making something a person wants to eat.
It’s about the art in just about the worst way possible. Fair play to the people who are into this but it’s complete bullshit, relies on borderline slave labour to produce and actively dislikes it’s audience.
I wanted to learn more and found this article: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/08/29/damon-baehrel-the-most-exclusive-restaurant-in-america
Sounds like the ten year wait list might be made up and who knows where he gets his meats, but the whole thing just sounds fascinating. From his website, the current price is $550 USD a head, though it’s subject to change several times per week.
He sounds like one of those guys that has a whole bunch of little projects going on at any time and over the years accumulated enough results from those to host some volume of dinner parties. And possibly exaggerates or lies about some of them (though hard to say if he treats his cooking similarly to how he treats his legend/myth).
I’m convinced that Damon Baehrel is a semi-fake restaurant. Like, it’s real, but doesn’t actually take reservations or serve real guests, and the owner/chef lies about everything in order to seem more mysterious.
This article from 2016 lays out the case.
So I don’t think it’s a particularly good example of fine dining, as it’s doing a lot of things different from a normal restaurant that is open to members of the public.
Business class flight to Japan. I’m just some engineer in a rural factory and was headed to some rural factories, but damn was the trip fancy. As we landed my coworker had to explain that the booze was free.
It was definitely a wild journey
Shouldn’t your coworker have told you that the drinks were free before you landed?
He had no idea I hadn’t flown like that before I mentioned I had to ask the stewardess the price of the food and drinks
I ate dinner in NYC at the penthouse fancy restaurant of some five star hotel. I could barely eat I was so intimidated. The food at that time was for some reason having a trend of “foams”, which is this weird thing where it was like lobster with a side of foamy stuff. I never understood how that was food, but the restaurant by itself was incredible.
A foam is just another texture of a sauce as a garnish, and typically not the main sauce. It’s not as “why was that even food” as people put on. It’s just an easy scapegoat for something different.
Cotton candy is air fluff that melts instantly on your tongue and leaves a bubblegum or artificial cherry taste behind. A foam is a similar thing, just with basil or truffle to compliment a piece of lamb sauced with its jus.
It’s just lazy commentary.
It wasn’t like a sauce. It was like a foam whipped with bits of lobster. Like lobster flavoured foam, it definitely wasn’t an accompaniment. I’m not describing it right, but it wasn’t like a side. It’s been like twenty years.
Also cuisine is art and at times creating new sensations is an excellent way of expressing that art. Other times not so much.
I went with a friend to Vegas. He was going to one of those super-posh conferences for his line of work, and just casually wanted to split the hotel bill (because he’s cheap; the dude could afford to live in one of those hotels year round). At the end of the conference, all of his colleagues were throwing some party at the top of one of the hotels on the strip. He helped me through the security screen and we left the elevator. We went from a world of bright lights and gaudiness to dark passion and sultry beats where each seat at their reclined cushion alcoves was worth thousands of dollars. Prostitution may be illegal in Vegas, technically, but escorts that looked like world-famous supermodels (male and female, to be clear) were writhing across every lap at those recessed tables.
My friend got me to the balcony, where I got a picture of the entire strip at night. Then my friend casually mentioned that getting a drink would be about $1200 and we went back down to the normal floors for the free booze and $2 blackjack.
Not mine, but my uncle’s story. In the late 70s or 80s, can’t remember, my uncle was a young man in Boston, MA. New transplant to the US with limited English working minimum wage at a famous hotel in town, by famous I mean all the rock and roll stars stayed in this hotel when they were in Boston. There are other wild stories for another day.
On this day his manager was scrambling to look for him and told him that he had to drive a VIP somewhere. He was speechless, and asked wtf is going on ? He had a humble tiny hatchback manual drive ford fiesta? with only a driver’s side mirror. The artist was Blondie and she was late for the show. They wanted the most non descript car to zip halfway through the clogged city to the venue.
He was like wtf, but fuckkit here we go.
He drove the Blondie singer from the hotel to the venue quick and easy like superman and saved the day.
I have to go back and ask what conversation they had.
Debbie Harry! I wonder what she thought of the whole thing haha
Ohhhhn Blondie, I thought you were just being weirdly descriptive
Me too. Thanks goodness he’s still alive. Barely. I’ll ask him and post followup. I wish she could read this post and give some background
Blondie is the band and Debbie Harry is the singer’s name.
I was tier one help desk, overnight, in a children’s hospital.
I had a doctor call me, who expressly made it clear he didn’t want a run around, while manually palpating a child’s heart to keep it in rhythm and thus, the child alive.
I told him there are back ups upon back ups that can be implemented, and I am happy to talk about his computer problem when the patient is SAFE. Not a little, “we got this,” safe, but SAFE.
Tier one help desk, overnight, no support, and I had to tell a person who turned out to be a board member that he could go fuck himself on his computer problem until the child patient was safe.
My first job was customer service, and I’ve been in IT for a dozen years. Its still customer service. You just have to realize who the customer is - in the case of a children’s hospital, it is always the child.
That’s wild. Was there even a good reason for him to call you? Like, was the IT thingie he needed for one of the machines they were using? And was there any followup to you telling the board member / doc that he should be focusing on other things?
I worked in intensive care for a short period - the amount of discussions about breakfast and what to order for lunch during reanimations was hilarious. There even was gossiping about docs and personnel while fighting death.
Professionals.
There’s a hard line drawn between those who can disassociate in emergency situations and function and those who can’t. I only use it for first aid and safety situations but I’ll never begrudge medical professionals for chatting while doing compressions unless the chatting starts hindering the compressions.
My aunt did hostile takeovers and her husband was even more rich. Their kitchen was bigger than my entire house. And that was their vacation house. I couldn’t appreciate most of it, I was just a kid. But I remember my cousin had a pool in his room.
pool in his room
Come on. You’re making this up, don’t you? Or are there really people who have a pool in their kids room?
Come on, that’s too wild.
Having seen how my buddy lives with his family being in the ~$100M net worth range and them overall being quite modest people, I’d 100% believe someone well above that and/or wanting to flaunt their wealth in a stupidly ostentatious manner would put a pool in their kid’s room.
I can’t imagine doing it as a parent. My kids drowning is a pretty big, realistic fear. Maybe for a teenager? Even then though…
Growing up poor, and eventually working my way into a tech job dealt me a long stream of culture shocks. Just socialising with people earning over 100k is wild. The vacations, hobbies, and even anecdotes, are all so different than what I imagined. I feel I betray my roots a thousand times a day.
I know this is just basic working class petit bourgeois stuff (that I’m part of), but the carefree attitude is so alien to me. I can’t imagine feeling so entitled to luxury.
Cheers to that. I’ve gone through the same thing. My tech work had me installing wireless equipment on highrise roofs in a major city. One time I went down from the roof to the top floor penthouse to set up the owner big wig dude with our service. It was an absolutely beautiful place, and I was just taking it in, and was admiring the view from the balcony. He started showing off the view and really went on about it, inviting me out to the balcony. I should have taken the hint that it was important to him, and just gone with it, but I mentioned I just came from a better view and pointed up half joking and it completely deflated the dude. He probably isn’t even allowed up there on the roof, and I had a 360 view up there. I tried to recover and fumbled out something like ‘but to wake up to it every morning, wow’ but the damage was done, I one upped the millionaire on accident.
Yup, I feel that. My “new” car purchase this year was a used 2015 Nissan leaf that was like 6k. It baffles me how my colleagues budget their money. A rivian?? Son, that’s the cost of a new roof.
EDIT: I don’t know new car prices so I had to look it up. It’s actually almost the cost of two new roofs! The high end model is a down payment for a nice house in my market!
How big is your roof?
Fairly big. Main issue is the house is really old so there’s a good amount of extra stuff that I’m opting to get. I think I got quotes as low as 28k from some companies, so the rivian would be 3 of those haha.
Son, that’s the cost of a new roof.
Depending on their circumstances, they might already have the new roof too. Or more likely they bought the vehicle with a minimal down payment and stretched the loan across 80 months.
Yep, I have no idea how people are able to afford stuff like that! Some of our friends have these crazy hobbies and go out to eat all the time, multiple cruises a year, etc. Meanwhile a ‘date night’ for us is Chipotle and DVDs of whatever show we are watching that we borrowed from the Library. That is the only way we can afford our modest one side of a duplex. And I feel like I make ok money but I guess everyone we know just makes so much more, or we are just very strict with our budgeting and credit usage.
I’m with you. I make mid-100s myself and as a single homeowner with no children I still can’t afford to go on funky vacations.
My take home after 401k and taxes is like $7,600 a month and my mortgage, heloc, car and student loans eat about $5,000 of that.
But, car will be paid off in the next few months, student loans should be done about 2 years after that, he lock will be done about 2 years after that so 5 years from now it’s only going to cost me like $2,500 a month to keep my home.
I have been told that I fit into the Henry class, “high earning, not rich yet”.
I just wonder if I can keep going for 5 years to accomplish that or if I should just finish up the house and sell it and pocket the 200k in value it’s accrued, pay off any other outstanding debt, and then go find an apartment or something or go travel.
Also grew up poor. But, wow, I wish earning over $100k was enough for vacations and hobbies in Seattle… I make around $150k, have a tiny home, and have only had one vacation since before COVID. I mean owning a home at all is pretty significant here, I guess.
I could probably do better if I moved far enough out of the city, but I’d lose a lot of conveniences that would cost me lots of time and money mostly around transportation, parking, shopping, etc. I do have a few hobbies, but most of my hobby time is used in home maintenance because it’s a 118 year old home… These days it takes about $250k around here to really start to have extra money for nice vacations and hobbies.
Dunno why you got downvoted. Shit’s expensive. We’re doing pretty good, but live in a very plain, 60 year old home, no new cars, but we do manage a decent vacation once every other year or so. I don’t understand the “carefree” attitude being described with a $100k salary, we have to budget, plan expenses, and any big bills are still a surprise and an unhappy event.
We don’t live in major metro area, or even in the suburbs of one.
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Also grew up poor. I know exactly how you feel. I don’t have a partner and kids to take care of and I make good money in tech. I’ve shoved enough back to retire early (theoretically, I guess we’ll see) and now I’m out here with no car payment, a mostly paid off mortgage, and I’m spending too much on hobbies.
It’s still wild to me.
I don’t want to like suck all the joy out of your life, but check out the cheap hobbies! Reading, writing, knitting, drawing, some sports, etc.
I briefly made the dumbass decision to take up cigars and cognac as “hobbies.” Ugh I don’t know what I was thinking. Anyway, quitting smoking and drinking has moved to much more reasonable substances, like tea and baking.
Im not so sure 100k will give folks super vacations and hobbies anymore. I mean if it just crests it.
I’ve never actually been on a vacation, so maybe my view of what constitutes luxury isn’t the norm… Yeah without context I get that 100k+ is just a really good livable income.
So I suppose it depends how long they’ve had it and if they have generational wealth. Like I’ve earned 100k but I’m the only one in my family to do so, so I spend most of it working down debt, and supporting family.
I get that there are richer people. But of my personal experience, it seems like people that don’t have that kind of reverse inheritance of poor roots get to live such carefree lives.
While still being working class ofc
Im single income with a wife with many medical issues. Im currently unemployed and Im trying to figure out how low I can take. 80k and we have to draw from savings. A bit over 2k a month medical costs, 2k for housing, 2k for everything else every month. Then figured out taxes on that. so I net it. Im also getting older with not enough retirement savings. Granted its way cheaper for one person who is healthy. I can’t imagine if we had kids how bad this would be. Certainly would easily make 100k inadequate. now granted two people making 60k is one person makeing 120k.
In most countries you are taxed note the more you earn, so two people earning 60k is MORE than 1 person earning 120k.
Taxes are paid in brackets and having two independent incomes makes each one fill their own lower bracket before going for the upper ones.
It does make a difference, in Spain for example nowadays even married couples fill taxes separately because it’s just not worth it tax wise to join incomes.
US actually pretty much doubles the brackets when filed as a married couple. They did this awhile back for that exact reason were filing seperately often made more sense. Now it makes way more sense to file married if single income and is sorta a wash if both make the same amount.
I feel like those who end up in your position end up one of two ways.
You know that you don’t have a safety net, so you don’t spend money more than you need to. Also, since it sounds like you support your family significantly, a lot of money that would go to vacations instead goes to them.
For others, money was an on/off switch; you either have it or you don’t. These kinds of people will spend at or above their means because they can and there aren’t any hard limits due to a lot of credit options.
Here they call them $30,000 millionaires - people who are living beyond their means in nice apartments uptown, driving expensive cars, bars, etc. - everything on credit, which will crash later, instead of living a regular ok life today. It’s an old term so its now likely $60k.
Sounds like so many people in Dallas.
Likewise, I grew up on a council estate in the north of England. Worked my way up to a good education and eventually created a $250k consulting business in London.
My experience of six figure earners in London was that many were also “new”, their parents had been working class, which I suppose points to some social mobility and meritocracy left in Britain.
For others it was totally normal. Not that they were from money, but in the more mundane sense that they’d grown up in London, they and all their friends had gotten tutor support by parents who both worked and for whom looking at the job opportunities on offer in London, a six figure salary was a realistic prospect after working some years. This is probably the category I aspire for my kids to be in
Then there are the kids from money. Not unpleasant people, Britain doesn’t quite have that competitiveness in the same way. Bragging about income is still crass. But they did seem genuinely clueless of the grief they’d been spared because bank of mum+dad bunged them a loan of 500k when they bought their first place, which they then paid back fairly effortlessly.
The most unpleasant people I ever dealt with were rich people from other countries. Maybe because in Britain money doesn’t buy you class or respect.
A girl I dated was friends with the daughter of one of Microsoft’s founders and we got invited to their house to watch Seafair. I think it’s be safe to call it a small mansion right on the water with a dock. The kitchen was as big as my whole apartment. The technology was a bit dated but must’ve been state of the art when it was built. Switches for automated everything. On the water we had front row seats to the Blue Angels. They are incredibly loud up close.
The guy was super down to earth. Had a good conversation where he showed genuine interest in me and what I did.
9.9/10, the hot tub was broken
Paul Allen had no kids so you could just say one of Bill Gates’ daughters.
No helicopter food delivery? She was definitely holding back on the super foods. She must have liked you, to not spook you away with the show of wealth.
Bill Gates definitely hit the late burger and roast beef joints in Cambridge and Boston back in the day.
Bill Gates seems like a chill dude to talk too. Maybe one of these days.
Though I wouldn’t suggest bringing up open source software around him. Unless it’s to bitch about people doing things for free when you want to charge lots of money for it.
“Oh yeah I contribute to Linux branches every once in a while”
“…You what?”
Fundraiser at a very expensive art school. I was a scholarship student at a cocktail mixer, and I was at the mixer because it was being held in the department I was majoring in. All of the people that were attending were fine arts patrons, the kind of people that drop tens of thousands on art without thinking twice about it. I was–literally–a punk kid with tattoos and shit tons of piercings, and I was supposed to be pleasant to people with millions more than I’ll ever have.
Got to piss off a world famous fashion designer that evening, so that was cool.
If they didn’t want to deal with punks they shouldn’t deal with art students. I hear the business students are perfectly pleasant if you lobotomize yourself.
Ironically, after working in production for over a decade, I’m hoping to go back to school for business management. Because it turns out that there’s zero career track and advancement potential if I stick with what I already know. Depressing shit.
If you don’t mind, I’d like to hear more about the world famous fashion designer you pissed off. That sounds funny
I… Can’t do that without giving away far too much personal information. Unfortunately.
Okay that’s fair. Thanks anyway
What kind of art do you do?
I went to school for fashion design. (Hence interacting with a famous designer in school. Come to think of it, the head of the department at the time was someone with a significant international reputation. And I still think he’s a pretentious dick.) These days I do industrial print media, because I burned out hard in school, due to a combination of raging, untreated ADHD and 48+ hour days working in studio.
I would not recommend fashion design to anyone that has any interest in a healthy work/life balance, and fast fashion has absolutely gutted anything domestic that’s of any interest at all.
Drop names immediately please.
If I drop that name, that gives people enough to figure out which school I went to, what years, and they can correlate that with my post history to figure out exactly who I am IRL.
I’ve probably posted enough already that someone with a large enough database could do that already, but dropping names would make it much easier for just about any schmuck with an internet connection and decent search skill.
(And believe me, I would love to tell people the name of the pretentious dick that was the head of the department, but… Aaargh.)
I have been picked up by a private airplane once. And I don’t mean an private jet like a bombardier global (which are still beyond cool), I mean like a full size long range airliner. The conference room alone was larger than my apartment at the time. Who especially was send my our customer to pick up my colleague and me. Even crazier: As it was somewhat urgent the customer “called” someone in his countries air traffic control and even though we arrived through rush hour at this airport we landed priority - which meant around 12 large airliners had to wait.
(To make that clear: I am not a prostitute, especially as I am a ugly ass overweight dude, but I work in healthcare and did a fair share of VVIP jobs over the last two decades)
What kind of healthcare you working in with the kind of commute? I’m good at my job nursing but I can’t imagine that’s someething people get flown in for.
Used to work in aeromedical retrieval for a company that has very strong presence in the Gulf region and a somewhat established presence in central Asia. .
Someone’s gotta give that sheik’s new chick a nice pair of tiddies.
Actually no, I refuse to be associated with cosmetic/fashion style plastic surgery completely for personal reasons. I even don’t work on the anaesthesia side of these cases.
I wasn’t entirely sincere in my comment.
I was working the booth at a conference and the sales guys closed some big deal there and took everybody at the conference out to a four star restaurant. Since it was in a legal state me and the woman from marketing got really baked before we went in and had $200 steaks with a $400 bottle of wine. There were like 10 people, too so the whole bill must have been at least $4,000.
She was high as hell the whole time and trying to hide it, which was hilarious for me to watch.
I’ve also had Iron Chef Morimoto make sushi for me but since I paid it didn’t feel above my station.
If they called it a “4 star” restaurant, they scammed you, that does not exist.
I never saw any stars. I just saw the prices.
