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Dr. Zoidberg is a fully-qualified medical doctor, though, and a good one at that. Just not for humans. Even so, he’s quite good, given that he hasn’t killed any of his human patients, though they may come out a little different.
As is Doctor Who, who has high qualifications in literally everything. It took them a few goes, but they got there in the end.
That said, how much do you trust your life with Dr. Who? I’ve seen many characters die while trusting him, and that’s just the ones on screen.
I’m not saying he is a bad doctor, but he was caught on film losing several sidekicks/ allies. If you’re caught on film doing something, you probably do it a lot.
“If you get caught doing crack on the news, you are a crackhead. It’s not like a “oh this was just the one time” situation. You do it enough you get caught on the news doing it.” -Josh Johnson
Edit: just looked for an answer of what the mortality rate is for the Doctor and it’s 42% according to a reddit question. At some point the authorities would be called in because 42% is more than just a “licence revoked” number.
“I’ve probably lost more patients than he’s ever treated.”
Didn’t Zoidberg once successfully attach Fry’s head to Amy’s body (or something like that)? Not sure any of the others on that chart have done something that impressive.
Doctor Evil didn’t go to Evil Medical School for six years to be put in the section with no training, thank you very much!
I’d gladly trust drinking a Dr pepper over anything to do with Dr Phil or Dr oz
THANK YOU. Why is Dr. Pepper the absolute lowest you can go on this chart, lower than Dr. Evil lol
I don’t even like Dr Pepper and I’d rather drink a six pack than watch either of those assholes.
I would trust J.D. with my life way over Dr. Seuss.
J.D. is a fool, but he’s also a really good doctor.
He’s also not a racist!
Of course not! He’s Vanilla Bear to Turk’s Chocolate Bear!
(We don’t discuss Caramel Bear.)
Depends on which season. Are you extrapolating current JD? Or can we pick season 1 JD, where he has a lot of knowledge, but very little experience, and wasn’t a very good doctor yet?
SO’S YOUR FACE!
deleted by creator
Just goes to show, it’s a hard knock life
Why is Doctor Strange to the left of JD from Scrubs? Isn’t he a world renown surgeon or something? Does that count for less because he hasn’t had medical practice lately?
If I had to guess it’s because JD is more of a general physician. Strange was a neurosurgeon before the accident that crippled his hands and led him to study the Mystic Arts. So not only can he not perform surgery anymore without magic but if he was working on you, then you were pretty much in life or death territory anyway.
Probably the same reason Zoidberg is considered to be on the same level of medical competence as Dr. Dre (Zoidberg literally doesn’t know human anatomy), and a higher one than Dr. Pepper (Which is genuinely responsible for less death than Zoidberg is), and Dr. Evil (Went to Evil Medical School)
And even then all of these people are probably better doctors than Doc, the dwarf who lived back in the days when washing your hands was considered a “Rookie mistake no self-respecting gentleman in the medical profession would ever make”
And the Medical Profession consisted of people wearing scary crow masks who just spread disease around and kill people, fully believing that disease was caused by not saying “Bless you” when someone sneezes
Not to mention less formal training than Dr. Quinn? At least he’s studied modern medicine and has specialty years after surgery residency.
I’ll be honest, I don’t recognize that character. What are they from?
From the show Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Quinn,_Medicine_Woman ran 1993-1998.
Dr. Strange had his injury in 1963, he probably went through medical school in the 1950’s and has been studying magic, not medicine ever since. His techniques and knowledge are extremely out of date.
Where’s Dr. House?
Right? This is an invalid graph without Dr. House.
I hope OP doesn’t have lupus
Just figure House and McCoy occupy the same spot
It’s never lupus
Except that time it was lupus
When you hear hoofbeats, think lupus, not zebras.
Somewhere between top-right and top-middle depending on how revoked his license is at the given moment and how much vicodin he is on.
Does the amount of vicodin he’s using put him higher or lower on the graph?
Higher, but it happens slower.
Top right, about 20 feet outside the graph.
Came here for this haha
Calm down Cuddy.
And Doc Cottle
I cannot believe he survived the whole series, seems like someone who should have died near the end of s3 just to add to the atmosphere of desperation.
He was kept alive by his steady diet of 200 cigarettes per day.
HOW DID HE EVEN GET CIGARETTES!!!
They are starving and eating paper but somehow they kept tobacco plants and all the mechanisms for drying and curing them, which would have taken enough resources to keep hundreds of people alive!?!?!
A guy like Cottle buys cigarettes for a decade in advance.
Hell, even Col. Tigh was smoking rollies by the end of the series. Cottle was set for life.
I always used to joke that one of the ships in the fleet was a cargo ship full of cigarettes.
- Dr. Phil has training that’s a shock?
- Bro I’d trust Dr. Pepper more than a lot of people on this list
The more anyone looks at this, the worse it gets.
Someone needs to fix this. But not me, I don’t have my doctorate in memeology yet.
Phil and Venture at the same level of trust is rough but true.
For reference on the no training side:
Dr. Dre and Dr. Venture: Both possess honorary doctorates. The former from UCLA, the latter from a Tijuana community college.
Dr. Pepper: Charles T. Pepper did have a medical doctorate. He is cited as a possible source of the name.
Dr. Evil: Evil medical school.
Zoidberg: Claims he lost it in a volcano, more likely a art history degree.
Dr. Horrible: Likely physics though he claims Horribleness (though it could be a catchphrase.)
Dr. Seuss: Intended to get a Doctorate of Philosophy, got an honorary doctorate of Humane Letters.
The Doctor: Per This - While pretending to be the Doctor in an effort to save herself from an army of Cybermen, one of the planet’s deadliest enemies, in Death in Heaven, Clara said: ‘I don’t even really have a doctorate. Well Glasgow University, but then I accidentally graduated in the wrong century.’
Doc: Does become a doctor at Storybrooke hospital in a live action show, “Once Upon a Time”, apparently not a surgeon though.
Spin Doctors: No doctors.I feel like a fair amount of those on the trained side aren’t medical doctors (Phil, Ock, Robotnik, Lector, Honeydew) or at the very least, aren’t folks you’d want around for your heart attack.
Dr. Zoidberg also has mail order degrees in murderology and murderonomy
Dr. Pepper: Charles T. Pepper did have a medical doctorate. He is cited as a possible source of the name.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_T._Pepper#/media/File:Dr_Pepper_trade_mark_1910.jpg
“Dr Pepper the King of beverages”
jeez, way to gild the lilly. Pick one , either Doctor or King, there’s no need to be an audacious Dr King.
“It’s the MLK Jr. of beverages!”
(FBI agents hate it.)
Dr Strange being a professional surgeon and barely making it past the neutral mark on the qualification axis seems, well, a bit strange
I’d put Strange ahead of McCoy. What is McCoy going to do without his Tricorder? He’d rant,
“They used to hand-cut and sew people like garments. Needles and sutures.”
I agree he should be a little farther right, but his origin story is all about how his injury specifically prevented him from doing surgery anymore. Plus some iterations of him with the time stone might not have thought about medicine in hundreds of years. His magic also seems to not be healing focused. So I kinda get why he is under qualified comparatively
Dr. Robotnik is more trustworthy than Phil tbh, but I suppose context matters.
He’ll amputate your limbs but replace them with fairly functional robot parts?
Phil is less likely to outright kill you himself.
No but he would try to scam and gaslight me or exploit me in some other manner. If the setting is a regular checkup I’ll trust Robotnik more. Ah, but the chart explicitly says trusting life with and not livelihood so I guess you’ve got me there.
Zoidberg should be lower.
Nonsense! Zoidberg’s a fine physician. For Aliens. Your mistake is being human!
Ok. Touché
I love how he’s the only one not called Dr. On this chart.
He’s got future technology, though.
And his human biology chart is upside down. What of it?
He has a doctorate in art, I believe
You’re missing Dr. Zhivago, Dr. Kevorkian and Dr. Shipman.
I’d trust Kevorkian, but only if I’m ready to die.
Kevorkian wouldn’t have dreamt of hurting a person who he hadn’t made 100% sure was a candidate for assisted suicide. And that was not an easy thing for him to decide.
He seemed like an extremely principled man.
Exactly,which is why I would only go to him when I’m ready to die
NPH making the list TWICE!? Truly we live in the best timeline.
In opposing corners no less
