• DrSteveBrule@mander.xyz
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    1 day ago

    I thinks it’s weird when people choose to make their online profiles open to the public then get upset when people view their content.

  • Allonzee@lemmy.world
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    I always find it peculiar and proof of self-hatred that humans are so averse and judgemental about reveling in our sexuality.

    It’s a major part of who we all are, whether we choose to deny that or not. Cultures and world religions always run by monied interests would prefer we spend our time miserable collecting more for their dragon hoard piles as they live in hyper-decadent debauchery, and most of us have been too fucked in the head with sexual and “don’t be laaaazy” shame to be fixable, but humanity would have been so much happier if we spent less time sacrificing ourselves to the God of economic metastasis and more time fucking, especially in an age of birth control.

    We might not even have put ourselves on the express lane to self-extinction we’re currently careening down in search of more treasure for the masters.

    • dullbananas (Joseph Silva)@lemmy.ca
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      After I quit porn, I became more sensitive to the minds and souls of women, and now my sexual attraction can flow to a desire for the women being happy.

      This may seem counterintuitive if you have an addiction involving lust, but I am now more completely reveling in my sexuality.

    • Asherah@lemmy.world
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      I think the issue is, when reveling in your sexuality, everyone involved must consent. It’s hard to say whether posting pics of you in revealing clothes is consent for old men to ogle or not. I’d say if you post it publicly, then it should be fine for said old men to respectfully ogle. But if said old men decide to comment something like, “would love to squirtle on those jigglypuffs” on the revealing image, we’re suddenly entering nonconsensual territory. So there’s a fine line and it’s easy to cross. Simply loving looking at boobs on the internet is fine; many women enjoy being admired. But if you take it any further, that’s when problems arise. Enjoy your sexuality responsibly, my friends. 💕

      Edit: it’s both extremely telling and extremely concerning how much my rational take on consent is triggering all these pathetic men.

      • Affidavit@lemm.ee
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        Edit: it’s both extremely telling and extremely concerning how much my rational take on consent is triggering all these pathetic men.

        Your initial comment was rational, it was well-thought out and you made a fair point while ending the comment on a positive note. Left alone, I would have upvoted your well-considered opinion and moved on.

        However, your follow up responses and your edit were unprovoked ad hominem sexist attacks where you assume everyone who disagrees is a mansplaining penis-wielder whose words have less value than your own. While having your views challenged can be confronting, responding in the manner you are only detracts from your argument.

        • petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          1 day ago

          But if said old men decide to comment something like, “would love to squirtle on those jigglypuffs” on the revealing image, we’re suddenly entering nonconsensual territory.

          I would love to know which women are set off by this.

      • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        If you don’t want people spreading your images, wanking to your images, making crude comment about your images, oogling your images, etc etc. And I don’t mean just nudes, I mean any picture you post…

        Then don’t post them online.

        because once they hit the internet, in any capacity, you’ve lost all control of them, forever. They will still be there to be discovered when you are lying in a nursing home at 104 years old, Your descendants so far removed that they dont even know your name will still be at risk of stumbling upon them. People on the other side of the planet might use it in advertising or virtual sex dolls without you ever knowing.

        You might not like it, you might not want it, you might not consent to it, but its still going to happen.

        And if you want it to not happen, don’t post things online. Because not posting is the only control you’ll ever be able to exert over them.

        • Asherah@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          Whatever you say, really don’t care. I don’t need some rando to tell me shit I already know.

          • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            “I don’t care what some rando has to say, now let me go back to posting on the site full of randos talking to eachother. BUT THEY BETTER NOT REPLY TO ME!”

            • Asherah@lemmy.world
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              1 day ago

              Sorry, I should have said I don’t care to be mansplained about basic shit about how posting things on the internet works. You guys are really fucking obnoxious, it’s telling how badly my comment about consent set you all off.

              • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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                Yes. your comment set me off so much that I made a calm, rational response about the dangers of posting online and the lack of control you have over it.

                God, someone stop me. Won’t someone think of the children?

                • Asherah@lemmy.world
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                  1 day ago

                  You regurgitated what a million other jerk ass men already said. I get it. Things on the internet are there forever, it’s all the women’s fault for posting revealing pics, I mean they were asking for it with the way they were dressed, huh?

              • GiveMemes@jlai.lu
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                1 day ago

                I’ve literally been sexually assaulted and you set me off too. Maybe you’re just a fucking dumbass

                • Asherah@lemmy.world
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                  1 day ago

                  Well, as someone who’s been through it, I’d really hope you of all people would understand the fucking importance of consent.

      • redisdead@lemmy.world
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        If you show your tits to the internet on an open platform anyone can leave comments on, you automatically consent to people looking at your tits and commenting on them.

        Until that platform specifically restricts the types of comments you don’t like, all you can do is suck it up, buttercup.

        • Asherah@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          So do you get off on being an ass or is it just something that naturally happens?

          • redisdead@lemmy.world
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            If someone climbs on a soapbox to spout racist shit, you wouldn’t have any problem with random people heckling them.

            It’s the same with showing your tits online.

            If you don’t want to attract creepy comments, don’t do stuff that attracts creepy people.

      • Jeanschyso@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        Put something on a public platform = accept that people will look at it. Allow for people to comment on it and you invite these comments. If someone wants to post pictures and not get comments on them, they can post them to a platform that doesn’t allow comments.

        • petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          2 days ago

          That’s right! Exactly.

          For instance, this is public, and if a bunch of random weirdos came in here and started saying things like “whoa, who let the monkey out of his cage?” or “I’m about to put something on his public platform = 1,000 unsolicited dicks,” there’s absolutely nothing you, or I, can do about that—and it would be wrong to do anything, of course!

          You’re cool, man, you get it.

    • Rooskie91@discuss.online
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      2 days ago

      Sex is free, fun, and everyone can do it. We can’t have that in capitalism, why would people work for money?

    • interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml
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      This isn’t coming from the self, our culture is extremely anti human, anti sexuality (the major cause of human)

      Discussion of sexuality is grounds for erasure in most spheres of society. When sexuality is permitted to be depicted, it is almost always in a negative condemning light similar to how’s drugs are discussed.

      The only valid and acceptable use of sexuality is when its vague reminder is used to sell us garbage like beer and trucks or whatever.

      Even the majority of art and artist pretend sexuality is not part of art, unless it’s rape.

      • orcrist@lemm.ee
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        I don’t know what culture you live in, but I think your description of what’s embraced by modern culture is at odds with what we see on TV, on Netflix, on YouTube, in magazines, in books, talked about by people everyday.

        What is it specifically that you wish you could find that’s not available, that you feel ought to be appropriate but isn’t, somehow? I’m struggling to figure this one out.

        • interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml
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          I’m not sure where you are seeing any of that on those platforms. Except as bait or advertising, I see no genuine expression of sexuality and in fact it is explicitely banned on almost all platforms that only pornography depicts it honestly and I mean “honestly” because the vast majority of it is of course fake and vulgar commercial trash.

          You can see it with the hot tub twitch stream. The repression is so intense that these little gimmick are the bleeding edge of “showing some midriff in a bikini”. That’s the state of the discourse for the most extreme elements of culture and beyond that is just an empty meaningless desert.

    • linearchaos@lemmy.world
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      There are a non-insignificant number of people in society who can’t seem to handle the concept of consent. Then we have an ever growing number of incels awkward enough in relationships and socially that they can’t talk about sexual topics without becoming angry and violent.

      A lot of our societal taboos about sexuality are trying to keep those people at bay.

      It’s a mental health problem to be sure and it needs to be handled in society but it is rarely actually worked that way. It’s easier in some countries to make women hide away than it is too deal with the men that are out of control.

      We really as a race can’t revel in our sexuality until we manage to get our morality under control.

      • GiveMemes@jlai.lu
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        You’re treating the symptoms as the causes dude. If we had more open discussion about these things I don’t think such issues would be as commonplace.

        If people understood more of what victims of rape go through, they’re much less likely to view consent as a hazy line.

        I go to many places where sexuality is celebrated rather than shamed and because of that it’s much less of a big deal. At one music festival I went to there were coed communal showers. I was kind of nervous but I headed down. Got in there and everybody was laughing and singing, sudsing each other up with soap, etc. This wasn’t because it was some kind of huge orgy, but rather that everybody was comfortable with the nudity and we were having fun together in a totally non sexual way, in my opinion only made possible by the openness everybody had about sexuality there.

        We are sexual creatures (except ace people), ain’t no two ways about it. Keeping sex taboo does nothing to prevent the problems you’re describing. It’s like the Islamic extremists who think the only way to protect women is by taking away their rights, making their beauty a taboo, etc. And still, these places have their own problems with rape anyway, so clearly that doesn’t work.

          • GiveMemes@jlai.lu
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            1 day ago

            I think the reason people may be downvoting you is that this comment has no reason as to why you disagree. I have not btw. I respect disagreement

            • linearchaos@lemmy.world
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              Yes, those two whole downvotes really make me lose sleep.

              I don’t really want to get into it because I can see from your replay that you won’t be arguing in good faith, but we’ll give it one go. If you start moving the goal posts, changing the subject or cherry picking I’ll just block you. Defend what you claim in whole or dispute what I say in whole with non-fallcy fact. If you want to argue, we can debate it, but I’m not going to have your cheesing it.

              Everything I mentioned is an observation of what humanity does. It’s objective, there is sufficient documentation if it happening in court cases and search fodder. Most of your post is opinion about how you feel in your circumstances and poorly thought out enough that I felt it’s better written off than addressed, but let’s give it a shot.

              “You’re treating the symptoms as the causes dude.” this is your opinion, you only offer more opinion to back it up. I disagree, cause and effect are sometimes hard to peel apart. You give a starving person bread. You don’t give a rapist access to women talking about sex. Giving a rapist free and open access to women isn’t going to cure him. (my opinion, free to debate)

              “If people understood more” is an opinion and unfounded. Do you have proof for that? I disagree

              "I go to many places where " fallacy, your experience isn’t everyone’s experience. Same goes for your communal showers. How many cases of gang rape and murder happen? Just because communal shows and bathrooms can exist in some places with some people, doesn’t mean that it’s good for everyone everywhere. (my opinion, free to debate)

              "We are sexual creatures (except ace people), ain’t no two ways about it. " this does not support your statement that we should be more open sexually. Just because we replicate sexually does not mean society in whole can handle it. Evolution provided us reproduction, rape and misogyny, cultural enlightenment made those things bad and wrong. We are all enlightened equally and going back to the stone age to have more open sex isn’t going to improve that. We can return to it perhaps once we move along socially, but right now, it’s just a horror show waiting to happen.

              “Keeping sex taboo does nothing to prevent the problems” then why separate pedo’s from children? We do it because it works, we do it because if we don’t bad things happen.

              “It’s like the Islamic extremists who think the only way to protect women is by taking away their rights, making their beauty a taboo, etc. And still, these places have their own problems with rape anyway, so clearly that doesn’t work.” - you insinuate it can’t be worse without any proof that it makes it better. Because there is a theft in a neighborhood, one can’t say the police and laws are useless.

              It’s a mental health problem to be sure and it needs to be handled in society

              In my opinion, this is the answer, and just being more sexual is not going to do anything but get a lot of people hurt.

  • Poplar?@lemmy.world
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    It seems people in the comments here missed the “with wives” part. Generally speaking, your wife is not going to be terribly pleased with you ogling or getting off to other women. And violating that is what makes these men count as weird.

  • Baggins [he/him]@lemmy.ca
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    This is what peak mansplaining looks like. She didn’t ask a question and I’m sure she already knows the why.

    • lowleveldata@programming.dev
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      This is what peak mansplaining looks like

      Is this just a new form of “Who asked?”? I mean, people can still speak out their opinions even if no one asked

      • Baggins [he/him]@lemmy.ca
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        So do yourself and FartMonster2k not know about PornHub, or…?

        An older adult following a bunch of much younger people on normal social media for sexual purposes is 100% weird.

        • Vespair@lemm.ee
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          How old do you think the women on pornhub are? What makes them more acceptable to look at over the women on instagram? I mean if we’re talking about dudes perving on private social media accounts of 15 year olds, yeah of course that’s fucked up. But that isn’t at all the implication I got here, rather I assumed he’s talking about OnlyFans models and other young women (not girls) who are offering their looks as a product, like Yellz0 or Kaitlyn Krems. In that case, this is extremely normal, and not really any different than the nearly 100 years of Hollywood; or did you assume the beautiful young starlets were only meant to appeal to their age peers (despite being cast and promoted by primarily older men)?

          Hollywood, magazines, art, sales catalogues, and pornography; they are all selling the sexual appeal of young adulthood. And so long as the men and women being gazed at are willingly and consensually offering the display of their body, and they’re of legal and intellectual ability to consent, then nobody is being wronged here, and nobody is behaving abnormally. These women deserve respect (as do the women on pornhub, to be clear; I’m still trying to understand what separates the two entities to you), and stepping over established boundaries, personal or social, is not okay obviously, but assuming the caveats I’ve outlined, I see nothing disrespectful about buying what somebody is willfully selling.

          As for the age gap… look, we can pretend to be this perfectly evolved species of always equitable and simple moral choices while ignoring literally the whole of human history which heavily implies an attraction in humans to young adulthood that doesn’t seem to wean with age, or we can accept reality for what it is, warts and all. Personally for me, I just don’t see how infantilizing young adults as if they are helpless children in need of constant coddling and viewing every relationship as an inherent competition of power and experience where any imbalance implies irreconcilable differences benefits us as a society.

            • Vespair@lemm.ee
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              Okay, I’ll try to make it more appropriate for you. Ahem:

              Why woman sell sex on pornhub okay, but women sell sex on instagram bad?

              Also human think young adult sexy. Always, but also now.

              • Baggins [he/him]@lemmy.ca
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                You assume they’re following sex workers on instagram. Nowhere in post it say that. Plenty of weird dudes out there

                • Vespair@lemm.ee
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                  Yellz0 and Kaitlyn Krems are not “sex workers,” unless you expand the term so broadly so as to include anyone offering titillation, at which point every model and most actors would fall under it as well.

                  So no, I am specifically not assuming they follow sex workers, I am assuming they follow people who offer titillating content, as expressed.

                • Crismus@lemmy.world
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                  3 days ago

                  Young adult women who post thirst traps are looking to be looked at. Especially if they aren’t on a private profile.

                  It’s normal for men of all ages to look at women who consent with open permissions.

              • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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                Not op, but imma be honest with you, I’m currently drunk at an airport bar and I appreciate the absolute fuck out of this tldr

        • Twitches@lemm.ee
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          So an older adult following a bunch of younger people on a porn site is ok?

          • Baggins [he/him]@lemmy.ca
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            If someone is looking to do that for sexual purposes then yes that is the appropriate place to do it

            • davidagain@lemmy.world
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              3 days ago

              You have a strange moral stance where looking at still pictures of boobs is terrible but watching porm is fine. Where do you stand on looking at fully clothed women?!

                • Amanduh@lemm.ee
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                  2 days ago

                  Don’t people consent to other people looking at their pictures when they post them publicly online?

                • davidagain@lemmy.world
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                  I think that your line of argument is very strange indeed and I’m not sure that porn websites are quite as full of women making choices completely free of coercion as you’re making out.

                  If you had asked me where on the Internet women have the most autonomy, have their preferences enacted most carefully and where their consent was prized, I wouldn’t have guessed in a thousand years that you expected me to answer “porn websites”.

        • Croquette@sh.itjust.works
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          At one point, if you explicitly put your body on social media, multiple time, on multiple platforms, that’s kind of the expected behaviour no?

          Sometimes, i wanna watch porn and sometimes I want to look at women that I find attractive. Does that mean that I have to exclusively watch someone my age?

          I much prefer looking at women my age, but let’s be real, the older I get, the less I see them on social media.

        • redisdead@lemmy.world
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          What’s the difference between a porn video and some chick posting their tits on twitter for all to see?

  • nailingjello@lemmy.zip
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    Guess I’m the only one who read her post and thought the wives were the ones following the young Women.

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    I’m not an old dude, but I mean these women need that crowd to make money. It’s weird calling them creeps but at the same time they are posting nearly nude photos of themselves publicly on social media. Who do they think is following that content? Physicists at CERN calculating the new gravitation force off of your oversized diaper butt BBL? medical doctors determining the tolerance a 115lb woman with 1000cc of silicone can tolerate? Get real, you’re posting your tits because you know exactly those types of dudes will follow and you can either trick them into giving you money for feet pics or buying you a weekend in Dubai.

    These 22 year old “model influencers” will be begging for these old dudes to pay them attention when they hit the wall in 5 years.

    • Sirence@feddit.org
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      I can’t find where she called them creeps but I think her issue is that they are married.

    • Katrisia@lemm.ee
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      If I were to do that, I’d probably do it for the money. I would get unfaithful followers (hard to pinpoint who because open relationships and other types of relationships exist, but statistically, there would be), and that wouldn’t make it any less uncomfortable. I personally hate unfaithful/dishonest partners.

        • Katrisia@lemm.ee
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          It depends. Some relationships are open to pornography, others aren’t. Some are open to sexual intercourse outside their people, but others aren’t. It’s about consent and agreeing to live in a way that all needs are met.

          That’s why I said it’s hard to know who is betraying their partner and who isn’t, because maybe a man or woman or whoever following an erotic/pornographic content creator is not outside what their partner(s) expect, or maybe they are.

          Anyway, I do not like people breaking their “contracts” instead of talking them out.

      • interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml
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        2 days ago

        I think the concept of sexual cheating is obsolete and malignant psychological evolutionary flotsam that should be stamped out. That those who wish to reinforce its social presence should be bullied and ostracized for it.

        • Katrisia@lemm.ee
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          I disagree. Violence is not the answer, and especially not against people that are living in a way that doesn’t hurt others. If a couple (or polycule) wants to be sexually exclusive, they have the right to do so, and they do not hurt others because it’s not a social imposition for everyone.

          Edit: I mean, I understand questioning why we choose it, “deconstructing”, as we now call it, but after that, I think it’s an intimate matter.

          • interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml
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            Yes, I only applied as much force and violence as the normative consensus. I mean… not even close since they used to stone adulterers to death so.

            I think claims in favour of sexual exclusivity enforcement need to be taken skepticism at minimum but ideally string opposition.

            Also need to avoid mote and bailey arguments about this.

        • flicker@lemmy.world
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          That “hit the wall” stuff is always hilariously transparent. It’s a self-soothe. “She won’t be worth it in a few years anyway so you’re not missing out.”

          I’m 38 and the wall where I stop getting unwanted attention sure never seems to come. Which is disappointing. I’m really looking forward to my crone era.

          • Amanduh@lemm.ee
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            So the moral of the story is that boobies are good even after they turn 27?

          • Sirence@feddit.org
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            The ones using the wall thing can’t even tell how old a woman is anyways. I got told I’ll hit the wall once I reach 26 and then I will have regrets. I was already well into my 30s at that time.

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            3 days ago

            Your comment very much reminds me of an episode of 30 Rock in which Liz Lemon starts dressing like an old crone and acting crazy on the subway to secure a place to sit.

          • figjam@midwest.social
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            2 days ago

            Have you started collecting toadstool and eye of newt? How is your mad cackle coming along? Are you behind on setting up your 401crone?

          • RBWells@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            I have written this before, but I don’t think it actually stops. I do not think it’s even about looks really. Or at least I’m over 50 and still getting catcalled on my way to work. Fully expect to be 90 and have some kid yell “Lookin’ spry, grandma!” at me from a moving car.

        • spacecadet@lemm.ee
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          3 days ago

          Is an incel someone who doesn’t white knight for women who couldn’t care less about their own existence? It’s gotten to the point where incel just means “a guy who believes men and women should be equal”. Yeah, I was exaggerating when I was saying 27 but there are tons of women online regretting not taking relationships more seriously when they were in their 30’s.

          • roscoe@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            3 days ago

            Lingua franca dude. I’ve never heard “hit the wall” used outside the man-o-sphere. Maybe not exclusively incel, but incel adjacent at least.

          • Traegert@lemm.ee
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            3 days ago

            It’s become a generic insult like re*d or faot was. Or still is for some people. Probably the same crowd. Saying that creepy old dudes are generally mainly interested in younger women and would lose interest as they get older is kinda the point of why they’re creepy old dudes. Not an incel thing to say, just how creepy old dudes work.

          • AbsentBird@lemm.ee
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            3 days ago

            It’s gotten to the point where incel just means “a guy who believes men and women should be equal”.

            No, that’s not even remotely true, and it’s not what your previous comment was saying either.

            Incels are essentially misogynists with a sexual fixation. Like classical misogynists tend to be more occupied with women having jobs or holding positions of power, while incels tend to be more upset about women’s sexual habits, but both are preoccupied with hating on women they deem to be misbehaving.

            I think the part of your previous comment that gave the most ‘incel vibes’ was the bit about women begging for attention after ‘hitting the wall’ in their 20s. Maybe you intended it as a comment on women who regretted not taking relationships more seriously in their 30s, but it came off as a sort of fantasy where the women who transgressed your model of how ladies should act get their just desserts.

          • Eatspancakes84@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            If men only date women below 30 (or 27 apparently??) for their youthful appearance, what incentive do those women have to take dating seriously? Those men won’t stay anyway. This is the main contradiction in incel rhetoric. If you don’t like to look at women past 30, women shouldn’t date you “seriously “ while in their 20s.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        I will say that by 27 creepy old men did stop yelling their attraction at me as I walked down the street, which was nice

        • WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          Are you sure it was because of your age or was it in respect to your Rank? Unless you were still a Lt. Lezbian at the time. Here’s hoping Major is soon!

    • DempstersBox@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      You may not be an old dude, but it sure seems like you already hit the wall.

      Friend of mine’s father, who was seventy at the time, got hit on by an older lady at the grocery store.

      Lamenting that he didn’t follow it up with her, “she was eighty, but a young eighty, if you know what I mean”

      Wall? Gtfo, dumbass

      • fine_sandy_bottom@lemmy.federate.cc
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        3 days ago

        I think you may have misunderstood.

        If you’re a 22yo “influencer” and your target market is people who follow 22yo influencers then it will be difficult to generate engagement when you’re 27.

        That doesn’t seem that controversial to me, and I don’t see how octogenarians getting laid at the supermarket is relevant?

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        2 days ago

        The post wasn’t about ordinary women going through their lives in healthy ways. It was about young women influencers and the old men who follow them. The reason why is obvious.

  • sznowicki@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I don’t follow any of them yet they still flood my instagram „search“ tab.

    Not that I complain.

    • Peppycito@sh.itjust.works
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      3 days ago

      Do you get constant targeted ads for devices to keep leaves out of your gutters? All I seem to get are those, belts and fat men t-shirt ads.

        • Peppycito@sh.itjust.works
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          2 days ago

          I have no gutters and I’m a skinny dude with no ass. Better targeted ads would be roof rakes, pants with a <30 waist and suspenders.

      • sznowicki@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        Yes belly old man T-shirts are the worst as I’m working hard on NOT having a belly and this like like saying „fuck you you gonna get it regardless, that’s what algorithm already knows“

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      2 days ago

      I’m 50 and get posts from OnlyFans accounts and advertising for kegels exercises, mixed in with woodworking videos. I blame all the other men out there. No wonder I don’t use social media much anymore. I just want to see my friend’s and family’s pics/vids.