Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they’re ugly and they smell! My uncle told me this when I was a little boy, and it still tickles me now as a middle aged man who should know better.

An Aussie farmer looks at his New Zealander neighbours field and sees a sheep in desperate need of a shearing. The Aussie farmer says to his neighbour “I think you should shear that sheep”, to which the New Zealand farmer replies “she’s mine and I ain’t shearing her with no one!”

There was a young man

From Cork, who got limericks

And haikus confused