• dingleberry@discuss.tchncs.de
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    1 year ago

    Let’s not start the cult of /r/nofap here. And no, you are not suddenly more charismatic and confident. You are just not reeking of cum all the time, something achievable with regular showers as well.

    • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      No fap is retarded, but watching less porn isn’t. You can do pretty much anything you can imagine to excess.

    • lyam23@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Nofap and celibacy cults are pretty toxic, but there is some virtue in self restraint.

    • Squirrel@thelemmy.club
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      1 year ago

      I can only speak for myself, but my mood tends to be better after a week or two without orgasm.

  • June@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    If it just takes a month to break, it’s not an addiction. It’s a habit.

    Really hate the way that the word addiction is watered down by people who just look at porn a lot.

    • DigitalDilemma@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      I’d like to agree with you, but I don’t think there are fixed periods where stopping something turns it from being addiction into habit.

      Addiction is an inability to stop using a substance or engaging in a behavior even though it may cause psychological or physical harm.

      I think porn can come within that definition, just as much as smoking or drinking can be called a habit.

      • June@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        And I’m saying that what’s described in the OP is a habit, not an addiction.

        ‘Addiction’ is very overused when it comes to porn because people don’t have any concept of what addiction actually is. Half the time the harm doesn’t come from looking at porn, it comes from the purity culture that we’re inundated with in western society. Being abused by puritanical ideology does not make looking at porn an addiction. Neither does having a strong sex drive that makes us want to engage with sexual content.

        • CheeseBread@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          Porn addiction is real, and watching porn can have more harm than just puritanical bullshit. Most people that I’ve watched looking at porn don’t just find a video a watch it start to finish. They watch multiple videos, fast forwarding to their favorite parts. Delayed gratification is good for you. Also, porn doesn’t accurately depict what sex is like. It can give you fucked up expectations of what sex should be.

          If you watch so much porn that you can’t have an orgasm without watching it, if you are only aroused by porn that can’t exist in real life, if you stop having sex with a partner to instead only masturbate to porn, if you find yourself constantly watching porn even at inappropriate times, if the amount of porn you watch decreases your quality of life… That’s addiction.

          I think that masturbating is healthy and good for human sexuality, but I think a lot of people could benefit from masturbating differently. Try reading or using your imagination or even just masturbating meditatively, focusing on sensations.

          • June@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            Never said porn addiction isn’t real. I’m saying it’s less common than people think and that most people who say they’re addicted to porn aren’t.

        • hex@programming.dev
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          1 year ago

          Dude porn addiction is such a real thing. The damage comes in your relationship. Not being able to stop watching porn causes all kinds of issues in your day to day life including fatigue and erectile issues.

          • June@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            Never said it wasn’t a real thing. Said most people who say they’re ‘addicted’ aren’t.

      • June@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        And I’m saying that what’s described in the OP is a habit, not an addiction.

        ‘Addiction’ is very overused when it comes to porn because people don’t have any concept of what addiction actually is. Half the time the harm doesn’t come from looking at porn, it comes from the purity culture that we’re inundated with in western society. Being abused by puritanical ideology does not make looking at porn an addiction. Neither does having a strong sex drive that makes us want to engage with sexual content.

    • ricecake@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      Didn’t take me more than a month to quit smoking, is that just a habit rather than a real addiction in your eyes?

      You’re going to have a tough time arguing that compulsive behavior that the individual has difficulty stopping and often performs when they otherwise didn’t intend to isn’t addiction, just because they found a way to stop.

      • June@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        Again, I’m not saying porn addiction doesn’t exist.

        I’m saying that the use of ‘addiction’ with porn is extremely overused and most people who claim to be addicted aren’t.

        And for what it’s worth, I quit smoking after three years of up to 2 packs a day in a single day. Just made the decision and never craved them again. Every body handles substance dependencies differently. But porn addiction is different and the comparison is apples and oranges.

    • mycatiskai@lemmy.one
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      1 year ago

      There haven’t been any studies to conclusively prove that this is the case but some correlation shows that nocturnal emmisions are lower in men who masturbate more. Probably more than likely this guy would have nutted in his sleep during that month of no fap.

        • dlrht@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          That citation abstract very clearly says “could link” prostate cancer and biological processes and “may lower” prostate cancer risk, it’s definitely not as clear cut as you’re making it sound. The paper itself isn’t even confident about the statements it’s making

          • boatsnhos931@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            I’m willing to take the risk for you guys…it’s for the greater good you know? Out here doing gods work…Now where did I put my coconut?!

        • Bluefruit@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          I’m glad you mentioned reasonable levels because like with anything, it can be harmful if done too often.

            • Bluefruit@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Great question.

              Essentially if its not interfering with your life in a meaningful way, you’re fine.

              If it causes you to miss work or if you’re unable to wait until you get home and end up doing it somewhere its not acceptable, then its an issue.

              Or not being able to stop or reduce the frequency can also mean its an issue.

              However, rather than listen to some nobody in the internet, you’d want to consult a medical professional.

              • psycho_driver@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                If it causes you to miss work or if you’re unable to wait until you get home and end up doing it somewhere its not acceptable, then its an issue.

                I remember a story about some low level politician pulling off into the parking lot of a preschool to rub one out. That probably would be a good example of this.

            • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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              1 year ago

              21 times a month should be good enough.

              More shouldn’t be a problem either, since once every day reduces the chance of prostate cancer by 36%

            • ricecake@sh.itjust.works
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              1 year ago

              Are you numb, bleeding, sore or neglecting other activities like friends, family or your job?

              You’re probably fine. Whole area’s kinda built to do that pretty regularly. So same rules as exercise.

          • SnipingNinja@slrpnk.net
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            1 year ago

            Is there an actual specific reasonable interval or does it vary person to person (of course putting aside any specific issues like muscle injury in the area for an example)

            • Bluefruit@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              It does vary from person to person. Whats reasonable for you may not be reasonable for others. Libido as well as age is gonna be a factor. Some people do it multiple times a day and others are a couple times a week.

              Again as long as its not hurting you or others, go for it man. Like others in this thread mentioned, in moderation, its a healthy thing to do.

        • lyam23@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          I’m not taking a side, but unless there’s some new evidence, virtually every study I’ve seen is filled with little to no evidence this is true and sums up with something to the effect of ‘results uncertain, more research needed’.

  • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Porn addiction isn’t a thing. It’s made-up bullshit by people that buy into Judeo-Christian morality regarding sexual “purity”. There are reasons that it didn’t make it into DSM-V, and won’t make it into DSM-VI either. The porn and masturbation isn’t the problem, it’s how people feel about it, and how they reconcile it with their own beliefs in morality, which is not even remotely the same as being addicted to opiates or nicotine.

    • Sodis@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      The masturbation definitely is not the problem, the porn might be. It just gives a wrong picture of intimacy and sex to inexperienced teenagers.

      • DigitalDilemma@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        And some frankly bonkers ideas about what real sex is like.

        But when I think about my youth in pre-internet days, when you relied on a trucker flinging his jazz mag into the bushes and being lucky enough to find it before the slugs, I’m not sure learning about real sex was any easier then.

    • pixeltree@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Even if you don’t call it an addiction, I still consume an unhealthy amount of porn imo. I worry that I wouldn’t be able to get it up for a real person, not that it matters cause I’m too mentally screwed up to try hooking up or dating.

      • Kage520@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Start slow by starting to masturbate before turning on porn, remembering the last porn you watched. Slowly increase the amount of time before turning on porn. Then over time eventually you might be able to get off entirely by remembering what you’ve seen before. You can use that skill any time when with someone.

      • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        You think you consume an unhealthy amount of pornography, because that’s the message that you’re hearing from religiously-motivated sources. (Groups like “Fight The New Drug” are funded and staffed by Mormons, which meets all the criteria for a high-demand religion, AKA cult.) It’s the way that you conceptualize your use of pornography, rather than your consumption of pornography, that is the problem. When you compare self-described “porn addicts” to average people that do not label themselves as addicts, their consumption is most typically either identical, or slightly below average.

        Your anxieties about “[not] be[ing] able to get it up for a real person” are what is likely to cause problems because that’s going to interfere with your arousal levels.

        • pixeltree@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Bruh I haven’t been brainwashed by religious messaging, I have an archive of like 20 gbs of super niche fetish shit because I’ve essentially over the past decade shifted what I consider normal way into the deep end. I’m not saying that porn addiction is a thing, just saying that overconsumption can still be a problem.

        • Ookami38@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          Surprisingly, porn use has damages outside of just puritanical BS taboo! Instant gratification, a decrease in drive to meet your needs in other ways, unhealthy associations with sex (because that actually exists outside of puritanical views, believe it or not), some pretty gnarly effects around the whole dopamine release and reward seeking thing…

    • Cappurnikus@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You can only be physically addicted to certain substances but you can be mentally addicted to anything.

        • Kornblumenratte@feddit.de
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          1 year ago

          You mean, you haven’t met someone with a mental addiction yet.

          But — you are technically correct, indeed.

          In ICD 10 the disorders that are commonly regarded as mental addictions are classified not as addiction, but as eating disorders, habit and impulse disorders and disorders of sexual preference. Don’t know whether I missed any.

          BTW, Substance-related addiction is classified as mental and behaviour disorder due to psychoactive use. So, technically, “addiction” does not exist at all.

          • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            I’ve met people with behavioural disorders, sure, but not “mental addictions”, since an addiction requires a physical component.

            I think you can broadly say that a genuine addiction starts because it’s pleasant, and then continues because stopping causes you to actively feel bad. E.g., you keep smoking because the withdrawal from nicotine is pretty shitty, and takes a week or so to get past (although the behavioural component to the addiction can take weeks or months). Masturbation and porn use doesn’t fall into that model at all; the consequences of not masturbating is that you don’t feel something pleasant, not that things start hurting.

            It’s simply not in the same category as alcoholism, or addiction to nicotine, opiates, etc. People that call it that do so for for moral reasons, not because it’s a legitimate medical issue. If you speak to a psychologist that is trained in and specializes in sexual disorders–again, not one that’s using a religious/spiritual approach, but one that’s evidence-based–you are unlikely to find anyone that regards it as a legitimate disorder unless you’re doing things like masturbating at your desk at work 3-4 times/day, or needing to pull your car over on the way to work to compulsively masturbate.

            • Kornblumenratte@feddit.de
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              1 year ago

              an addiction requires a physical component.

              If this is your definition of addiction, a “mental addiction” cannot exist. I am happy to concede I am wrong and improve my knowledge if you would be so kind to point me to sources prooving this is the general accepted definition of the word.

              Masturbation and porn use doesn’t fall into that model at all; the consequences of not masturbating is that you don’t feel something pleasant, not that things start hurting.

              Well – no. Not for all people. While “blue balls” are a myth, bad mood, emotional instability and even aching genitals are at least for some people consequences of sex withdrawal. Craving does exist as well.

              It’s simply not in the same category as alcoholism, or addiction to nicotine, opiates, etc.

              That’s true.

              If you speak to a psychologist that is trained in and specializes in sexual disorders–again, not one that’s using a religious/spiritual approach, but one that’s evidence-based–you are unlikely to find anyone that regards it as a legitimate disorder

              Well — actually I haven’t met any psychotherapist who doubts that there are people with non-substance related addictions. I have no experience with sexual addiction myself – only met a couple of patients who claimed to have overcome it – but I did work with patients with eating disorders, which we viewed and treated as addiction, and with pathological gambling, which is viewed as an addiction as well.

              Ok – so far to the existence of “mental addiction”.

              Regarding “porn addiction”, I agree, that a habit has to meet the criteria for addiction. So I agree someone isn’t addicted to masturbation/porn

              unless you’re doing things like masturbating at your desk at work 3-4 times/day, or needing to pull your car over on the way to work to compulsively masturbate.

          • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            And yet you’re the one following Judeo-Christian beliefs about morality.

            Huh.

            • spez@sh.itjust.works
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              1 year ago

              Lol. This is a real thing. I suffered from this. Labelling this ‘Christian’ doesn’t make them false.

              • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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                1 year ago

                No, you didn’t. You believed you did, because Judeo-Christian fundamentalists convinced you that you did, in order to sell you their cure. You’re actively promoting their talking points, as well as the talking points of the alt-right.

                How many people can you find that are licensed clinical psychologists, that are trained and specialize in sexual disorders, that use an evidence-based approach to treatment–not a spiritual-based or spiritually-aware approach–that promote the idea that there is “porn addiction”?

                • spookedbyroaches@lemm.ee
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                  1 year ago

                  You can just ask why the person labeled it as an addiction. What if he was regularly missing work, social gatherings, or other things due to his urge to masturbate? Is that not an addiction? If a person’s life is worse because they can’t stop doing something that’s an addiction.

                • Ookami38@sh.itjust.works
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                  1 year ago

                  Found the reductionist! Every problem has to be because of your preconceived enemy figure, doesn’t it?