- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion@lemmy.ml
- latestagecapitalism@lemmygrad.ml
- cross-posted to:
- nottheonion@lemmy.ml
- latestagecapitalism@lemmygrad.ml
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I already don’t eat breakfast and I’m still poor, what now WSJ???
Economists hate this one SECRET HACK you can do to avoid poordom. Among investmentology specialists it is a well guarded secret that switching to a making money framework instead of the popular losing money framework has a long term net positive effect on your private economy.
Of course, the answer was right in front of me! I just need to pull on those bootstraps harder
My bootstraps broke when I pulled them harder.
Turns out the local company that made bootstraps for 125 years was bought out by a hedge fund, which promptly fired all of the workers and subcontracted manufacturing to a company in Sri Lanka who could make them much cheaper by using inferior materials and by paying the Sri Lankan workers in 6 months what a fired local worker made in a day.
Ironically, the hedge fund CEO with the MBA he received as a legacy admission to Cornell only wears slippers because fuck you, I’m the boss.
Hold on bucko, the corporate police noticed that you were saying seditious statements about our glorious brand. The shareholders will decide your fate.
It’s treason then
Just eat once a week. Yuge savings
Spare lunch?
Skip lunch lol
Fasting 🤑
Have you tried photosynthesis?
Find a way to eat negative avocado toast in the morning
I think to save money you should skip dinner. Breakfast food is generally cheaper. Big breakfast at 10-11am. Late lunch at 4-5pm and a light dinner if hungry at night is more economical
Sleep for dinner
Of course this comes from the wall street journal lmao straight propaganda
Lmao what the fucking hell. I hope that guy was let go by whatever college he “teaches” at. I put teaches in quotations because I hope they are drug testing that fucker. He took some flaka or something.
He was an economics teacher at a private college. He’s entirely on brand for that school.
I’m not religious, but I do feel like writing something like this is comparable to selling your soul to the devil. The person who wrote this abandoned their humanity for capitalists and they should be ashamed.
Not religious, but I do believe the author is pegged by the Mammon for lolz and profit
I really thought this was satire until your comment.
Who thought this was a good idea to publish…
Pro-tip: You can save money on living expenses if you just live in a cardboard box by the roadside and die.
Please not by the roadside, noone wants to see your progress to absolute freedom.
That’s illegal in many places. Illegal to be on a roadside, illegal to kill yourself.
My prescriptions cost so much too. Maybe I should just stop taking my antidepressants and see how it rides out. .
“If you spiral into the grave, your cost of living goes down by 100%!” - some jackass at the wsj soon, probably
Just take 'em every other day, as a treat!
- DON’T do this!
what would actually happen if you did do this… say for money reasons
The Wall Street Journal is just shitposting for rich people.
“Instead of seeking happiness, save money with misery”
Thank you, I’ve finally achieved Capitalist enlightenment! The secrets of capitalism are mine!
I’m not ready for esoteric capitalism
Struggling to get by? Have you tried forgoing basic needs of survival like food?
Tomorrow’s headline, “Millenials are single handedly killing the breakfast industry”.
To not get murdered, die right now…
They act like most of us even have time to make breakfast like we’re living in some 90’s sitcom
It’s people like you that make me look like an asshole. Every morning I wake up at 3am to squeeze orange juice, make sausage gravy, biscuits, waffles, 5 omelettes, 40 pancakes, 6lbs of bacon, hash browns, buttered toast, and right after my son comes down the stairs, puts his ball cap on, grabs a single piece of bacon, heads out the door in a rush, I chase him down with a PB&J he inevitably always forgets. But it’s not like I want to waste 40lbe of food per day. Some days I just want my son to sit down and eat the 40lbs of food I prepared. He may think I’m overbearing but I’m really overcaring.
What intro was that from? I can’t figure it out :-(
It’s from… “Nondescript White-Ethnocentric Nostalgia Family with Canned Laughter” Good show
Aside from being tone deaf, I think this is bad advice. Common breakfast foods are fairly cheap comparatively and I’m pretty sure most nutritionists recommend eating something for breakfast to kickstart your metabolism. If I were skipping/reducing a meal, it would be lunch.
Gluconeogenesis does that well enough.
Plenty of people don’t eat breakfast. I’ll be nauseous for the rest of the day if I have anything before noon.
Did I just find my people? I thought I was alone. Do I need to look that word up now fuck
I only eat one real meal a day and supplement with light snacks and plenty of fluids. As long as that one meal is something of substance and not say, a ramen packet or something like that, I feel pretty good. There are people that do one meal a day with no other food intake at all, too, but that’s a bit low for me.
Wait, my condition has a name?
Best I can do is add some more milk to my coffee.
Hmm, lunch sandwiches are also pretty cheap compared to supper, maybe have lunch for supper then instead?
Have you seen the cost of deli meat lately?
Well that would just make supper dinner then wouldn’t it?
I don’t think they know about supperdinninses, Pip!
Maybe we should eat billionaires instead
That can’t be sanitary. I mean, who knows what kind of drugs these people take, what kinds of places they have been. People get worried about eating animals that have been given antibiotics, so I can’t imagine that billionaire-meat will get approved for human consumption any time soon. We should probably just euthanize the poor souls and recycle the remains… \s
Turn them into soil. Put them in the ground.
I feel quite hungry lately
I could never eat human meat 😔
True, Elon probably tastes like meth
Maybe the WSJ has a point; we could save a lot of money if we stopped buying breakfast and just ate the WSJ staff instead
Foodborne illness 🤢
“We know life is Hard, but have you tried Ultra Hard by skipping the most important meal of the day and starting out famished?”
Off topic but I don’t think breakfast is any more or less important than a meal any other time of the day. Most days I only eat one big meal around dinnertime and maybe have a few bites of some snack throughout the day. I’ve been like that for years now it started from doing 12 hour construction shifts where I’d just work all day with a coffee and maybe an apple or something then eat a big meal once I was home. I don’t do construction anymore but the way I eat stuck with me. It’s probably worth pointing out that I’m very fit and a healthy bodyweight (5’10 152lbs) and I don’t suffer any negative effects from living like this. I’d say I’m healthier than 90% of the people I know.
the most important meal of the day bullshit was invented by america, fuckin milk lobby and shit somene else explain it I don’t care enough to
No need to skip meals, there’s plenty of rich to eat
I see they moved on from telling us not to have avocado to toast to just not have any toast.
One more step and they’ll move onto what they actually want us to do.
