Most people who vote with their wallets have long since stopped playing.

“Forced to deny he is not” == “Forced to admit he is”

This isn’t a LinkedIn lunatic. This is about as sane as one can behave on LinkedIn without deleting it.

Seriously, I went to Kohl’s yesterday and got two pairs of jeans, two shirts, and a pack of socks. The total was over $200 USD, and that includes sales.

I ended up returning the jeans and socks. If I were a fish I wouldn’t have legs anyway.

Turkey? Dude, his name’s Laserbeak.

You and your lizard are awesome. He looks like a little alien—I’m glad E.T. found home.

During COVID, I went a bit mad and got really into collecting Transformers action figures. I’m still not entirely sure why. One day I just bought one on a whim, and before I knew it my closet was full of unopened, mint condition toy robots.

Anyway, Christmas rolls around and I see a flyer for a local toy drive. A sudden compulsion hit me, so I loaded up my entire stash and donated the lot. Just like that, the spell was broken. Not even Soundwave was spared.

To this day, nobody in my life knows that I spent thousands of dollars on plastic crack, only to foist my addiction on some poor, unsuspecting kids. I like to imagine the War for Cybertron rages on in their hearts.

Will the real SLLM Shady please stand up?

Luckily we have Fox News and random strangers on the internet who are willing to magnanimously inform us about the desolation of our own city.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go scavenge for hot dish in the smouldering ruins of Saint Paul.

Because the youth group was serving it with free donuts—it’s pretty much the reason I went. To be fair, they were really nice; it was just a bizarre experience. I didn’t realize you could just inherit a church and declare yourself a pastor without any formal training.

After looking up how much money my local megachurch took in last year ($60 mil) versus how much they spent on charity ($3 mil), I think you were probably justified.

When I was a freshman in college, I let this youth group convince me to visit their weird church. The “pastor” was a young guy who spent the entire sermon talking about how he squandered his time in college before eventually dropping out. Fortunately, the old pastor took pity on him and gave him a job as an assistant—running errands, cleaning, etc. Then one day the old pastor died, so our hero basically just took over since no one else wanted to.

When it was done he tried to sell us bags of stale coffee.

Surely this AAA-budget live service game with a terrible premise won’t faceplant immediately and force us to close the studio…but let’s make it an MMO, just to be safe.

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LinkedIn reminds me of that scene in Men in Black where they discover a weird little society living inside a locker. But instead of a locker, it’s a job board.

🔥💼 Unlocking Success: 3 Key Strategies to Propel Your Career Forward! 💼🔥

Hey LinkedIn fam! 👋 Are you ready to take your career to the next level? 🚀 Today, I’m sharing three game-changing strategies that have been instrumental in my own journey to success:

1️⃣ Continuous Learning: In today’s fast-paced world, staying relevant is key. Make a commitment to lifelong learning by seeking out new skills, certifications, and knowledge. Whether it’s through online courses, workshops, or networking events, never stop investing in yourself!

2️⃣ Networking with Purpose: Building strong professional relationships is crucial for career growth. Be intentional about expanding your network by attending industry events, reaching out to mentors, and engaging with peers on platforms like LinkedIn. Remember, every connection is an opportunity!

3️⃣ Embracing Challenges: Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and tackle new challenges head-on. Growth often comes from overcoming obstacles and pushing your boundaries. Embrace every opportunity to learn and grow, even if it means taking risks along the way.

Remember, success is not a destination, but a journey. By adopting these strategies and staying true to your goals, you’ll be unstoppable in achieving your dreams! 💪💼 Let’s inspire each other to reach new heights! #CareerSuccess #ProfessionalDevelopment #InfluencerTips #UnlockYourPotential

Dragon Age: Origins is pretty gory (for an RPG from that era.) Their whole marketing campaign was basically “look how bloody this game is—even our logo is made out of blood.”

Edit: I would recommend Wildermyth as a whimsical, party-based RPG that doesn’t include stuff like this.

If you’re a fallacious gambler, maybe.