Go write your fucking book, George!

That man will do anything to not write his book.

It’ll be four hours long, the first three of which will be spent building up a final climactic fight. The next 55 minutes will be filmed entirely without lighting with characters sitting around either bullshiting or fumbling about with each other. Four minutes are used to show one of the protagonists farting in the big bad guy’s direction, causing said big bad to fall over and die. And finally there is one minute of picking out a new king by drawing straws. The credits will be written and filmed entirely by llamas and the last minute and at great expense.