Florida police arrested a 27-year-old Jewish man, Mordechai Brafman, on suspicion of attempting to murder two men he believed were Palestinian. The victims were an Israeli father and son visiting from Israel.
According to investigators, Brafman overtook their car in Miami Beach, made a U-turn, exited his vehicle and fired 17 shots at them. Local authorities said Brafman didn’t know the victims and there was no prior confrontation between the sides.
Brafman drove home after the shooting and was arrested shortly after. He is charged with attempted murder. While police have not officially determined a motive, they said: “It should be noted that, while in custody in our interview room, the defendant spontaneously stated that while he was driving his truck, he saw two Palestinians and shot and killed both. The victims and the defendant do not know each other,” Police added that he told investigators he had killed them.
Brafman, a married plumber, was interviewed last year by Florida media after vandals targeted a Miami Beach bagel shop displaying an Israeli flag. “It’s just horrifying,” he said at the time. “I’d like to see more unity, for people to fight less with each other and be more together.”
This is the key part that makes it The Onion material:
From, https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/feb/17/miami-shooting-israeli-men
…one of the injured men reportedly posted “death to the Arabs” in a message on social media after the shooting. “My father and I went through a murder attempt against antisemitic background,” he wrote.
Jewish man shoots at Israelis because he thought that they were Palestinians. Israeli victims claimed that they were victims of an “antisemitic” attack and post “death to the Arabs”.
The deeper irony is that these men were the victims of an antisemitic attack. They were targeted because they were thought to be Palestinians who are also a Semitic people and yet they seem to share the same prejudice as their attacker.
Fucking clown world.
“Sorry guys, I thought they were Palestinian!”
Didn’t realize that’s a valid excuse to do a murder these days
“I thought they were untermensch, honest mistake”
Apparently, one of the guys shot concluded his statement about being shot with “death to Arabs” or something to that effect, so they might just accept that excuse.
Gets shot by Zionist terrorist
“Why would Arabs do this?”
If the president is using it, who is to stop the civilians?
I would say typical zionist, but we don’t have evidence that the American government paid for his weapon and ammo
He fired 17 times and it’s still just an injury? Oof.
Also someone needs to figure out if there’s something in Floridian drinking water.
Supposedly it not necessarily a Florida thing to be particularly crazy, just that there are fewer protections against reporting and publishing people’s names in Florida.
It’s like the US version of ‘boy, there doesn’t seem to be much rape in this country where it’s illegal for women to accuse men of rape, but there is a lot of it in the country next to it where it isn’t illegal for women to file police reports. Making it illegal to report rape must significantly decrease it!’
Yep, it’s Florida’s Government in the Sunshine law. Everything the government of the state is involved with is public, including arrests. I’d love to see it adopted nationwide.
The fact that they went with neither “Florida man” or “Jewish Man” but instead “Florida Jew” is just hysterical for better or for worse
“Florida Jew” reminds me of “Rare Deepwater Jew” from somethingawful.com https://www.somethingawful.com/news/fur-trapper-promise/
The oppressed became the oppressor and think it’s all good because they are the oppressed. Genocidal fucks.
Least deranged Jewish Trumper
Biden and Trump based their entire campaign around winning this singular person’s vote.
Biden “based his entire campaign” on what, exactly?
Blind unquestioning financial and material support for a genocide that nobody except organ harvesting pedophile colonizers wanted.
He “based his entire campaign” on that?
You might want to see a doctor for the memory issues…
That was all that mattered.
You should see a psychologist about that empathy problem of yours.
Why don’t you take a breath and re-read this conversation before you start making implications about my views.
That was all that mattered.
Right. Go fuck yourself.
Dude musta forgot he’s not in the pedo colony. You can’t just murder people cuz you think they’re indigenous here.
$3.50 says Israel whisks him back to the Colony to keep him out of jail.
Hate makes you stop thinking.
The jokes write themselves.
You people don’t know the difference between Jewish and Israeli and it’s dangerous AF
Nottheonion requires verbatim article titles and this is the verbatim article title.
One complication is that the Zionist shooter is not Israeli but of the equally notorious Floridan descent.
I could change the word Jew in the title to Zionist if the mods are okay with that.
I think keeping unedited titles is important for this community because the main focus is the headline itself sounding like an Onion article.
Anyone can take a normal headline and make it sound ridiculous. Let’s keep this community about ridiculous headlines from professionals.
It should be noted that the people he shot took to social media to post “Death to Arabs”
The settler colonial ethnostate equivalent of, “still like truck, tho.”
fr, mfer you got shot because you didnt pass the
and you go post that 
Is that his mugshot? The fuck is he smiling for?
Edit: I didn’t realize it was taken before he learned the outcome of his actions. What a fucking loser.
In his mind he just murdered two people he considers inferior and wants to genocide.
