as always, we’re back. how’s your week going folks

  • Dee@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    My mom who I haven’t seen in like six years is coming to stay with me for a little under a week. She hasn’t seen me in person since I transitioned but is supportive despite her conservative leanings. She’s also visiting me in here in Portland from where she lives in Texas so there’s a double layer of “everything is okay, the city is not on fire” plus all the new trans stuff she’s going to be asking about. So it’ll be a week of doing my best to be an LGBTQ encyclopedia and Portland advocate while catching up with my mom. It should be okay, but it’s going to be stressful 🥲

    • NubTubz@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      I hope everything goes well during the visit! If she’s supportive, that’s already a great sign. Constantly explaining things can get exhausting after a while, but it’s definitely easier to handle when those questions are asked in good faith.

      I hope you don’t mind me asking, but as someone who is really considering moving to Portland from the deep south, how is it? It seems like a really fun city, but it’s hard to sift through the propaganda with it being such a target for conservative media.

      • Dee@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        I don’t mind! In fact, here’s way more info than you asked for!

        Portland has it’s problems, no doubt. But in comparison to the south? It’s not even close, you couldn’t pay me to move back (and my job tried lol). The weather is more mild, the people more friendly and the culture more inclusive. The food scene is crazy, so much variety and fusions you’ve never heard of. Afters years I’m still discovering new eateries to try and pretty much every place has veggie/vegan options if you’re into that. Super walkable with awesome public transit (for an American city) that makes it great to get around for real cheap. Hiking trails on hiking trails with lots of bike infrastructure. So many fun shows come to town all the time and the local artists are their own brand of amazing weirdness. Also weird subcultures. I’m going to the Mondo Croquet World Championships this Sunday where you play croquet with bowling balls and sledgehammers. Takes place in Portland every year for 26 years and I just learned about it two days ago lol

        Now the bad. There’s some sketchiness with some of the houseless encampments around town, but the majority are just people trying to get by. Don’t berate or antagonize them and you’ll be fine. I was just walking in Old Town the other week with a friend, this is often described as the most dangerous part of the city, and it was fine. A houseless person who was talking to himself saw my Mars Attacks shirt there, smiled real big, and then yelled “ack ack ack ack ack!” So I smiled back and gave him a nod, he was satisfied with the exchange and went on his way. Which is honestly how it goes most of the time. Most houseless people I talk to are just thankful I talk to them at all and don’t ignore them. One dude showed me his sweet rock collection on the train, he was stoked to share with someone and they were some pretty sweet rocks tbh. I know anecdotes don’t directly translate to data but for what it’s worth that’s been everybody’s experience I’ve spoken to that I can confirm actually lives here. If you go to the Portland subreddit for instance you’ll see a lot of claims being made but then dig into the profiles to find they don’t actually live here.

        Our police department is the worst. I know everyone says that, but like, Portland Police might actually be the worst. They’re on an unofficial soft strike right now and have been since the George Floyd Protests and only respond to the most urgent of urgent calls. Then wonder why everyone hates them and wants to slash their budget. I could go on for a while there but I won’t. Portland cops suck, real hard.

        Housing and rent sucks, but so does everywhere else. So, meh. Although with Oregon rent control I’ve been able to renew my lease and have pretty close to what I was paying in rent five years ago because we haven’t moved.

        I didn’t meant to type a wall of text, but that’s a very summarized run down of what to expect. I tried to be completely honest because it’s not a perfect city, but I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else at this point.

        with it being such a target for conservative media.

        It’s kind of a blessing in disguise because it largely keeps conservative people from moving here so it’s mostly really cool/chill people that move here instead lol

  • autumn (she/they)@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    my first foster dog, chuck, is an absolute angel, and i don’t say that lightly as somebody who is very realistic about a dog’s personality. (my own two dogs are certified jerks, lol.) chuck gets along great with every dog he’s met, loves kids, and the folks at the vet clinic said he just stood there while they did his exam, like nothing was even happening. i can attest to that, as i had to give him eye drops this evening. i’ve only had him about a week, and i doubt i’m going to have him much longer, because he’s the dog everybody wants when they think of a great, chill pet.

    large border collie-looking dog laying down on a rug

  • bipmi@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    My outside kitty ran away for 6 weeks and just came back on monday morning! I was getting into a bit of a depressive episode and had started mourning her, so having her back feels great.

    • Ellvix@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      Hooray! Now, when she came back was she happy to see you, or did she just do the cat thing and say “eh, you again”, check out her food dish, and go to bed.

      • bipmi@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        Kinda both lol. She has been very sweet the last few days, moreso than normal, but when she came back I was heading out the door to go to work so I just picked her up, put her inside and left for work (the photo I took is actually from my kitty camera in my living room). She is an old lady kitty though so she sleeps around 14 or so hours a day and doesnt eat a whole ton. Im just glad she is back because her previous caretakers had her declawed and we live on the border of suburbia and rural farms, so lots of coyotes and such linger about

        • Ellvix@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          Aww. Very nice that she’s back.

          I hear you on coyotes. I’m one house away from their territory and although it’s nice to hear then every night, my fuzzball got out once and I was rightly panicked (he turned up after 2 days… nothing near your ordeal).

  • potpie@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Last night I grabbed a bunch of audio files for country songs that contain the phrase “ice cold beer,” then I edited them together so that all the "ice cold beer"s lined up amidst the cacophony of about 5 songs being played at the same time. I thought that would be funny but it just didn’t sound as good as I thought it would. Maybe if each song faded in one by one… I dunno.

  • while1malloc0@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Not terrible thus far. Getting over a cold and am already sick of hearing about the Twitter rebrand, but otherwise better than the past few days.

    Really starting to wish that Lemmy had a way to block entire instances. It feels silly that my choices are to either block everything labeled as NSFW (including discussions, comics, etc that aren’t necessarily sexual in nature but not appropriate for work), or have to block an endless sea of furry porn on the “All” timeline, one community at a time (no judgement, just not what I’m on Lemmy for).

    • FlickOfTheBean@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      Lol I very much agree with the need for an instance blocking button. Feels like it should be a fairly simple filter for an @ pattern, but it’s not like I’m a Lemmy dev, so it really could be an insane lift. There’s been talk of it in various rooms, though I’m not sure the last time I’ve seen this topic on beehaw.

    • lemillionsocks@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      It does get easier after the first major purge. We’re still a relatively small site so most of the porn comes from the same few places. I do agree though that it would be nice and easy to just block it.

      I also wish there was some more granular control with how instances populate your front page either all or subscribed. As it is the meme instances tend to drown out a lot of everything else.

  • OttoVonGoon@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Moved to a small town earlier this year, tried to make friends, met some cool people, last month I found out one of the group was super openly transphobic, so I stopped hanging out with them. Tried to reconnect with some cousins, last week I found out one was a transphobe, homophobe, and racist, cut her off. Started to get close with a different one, found out yesterday that he was transphobic, cut him off. I’m not trans, but I don’t want to be around idiots that think trans people are groomers. Feeling pretty goddamn isolated and terrible about myself. Wishing I could just stay inside and never see people for the rest of my life.

    • Soullioness@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      I understand that very well. I’m trans and have to worry about transphobic people all the time. We appreciate you avoiding transphobic people because you’re less likely to become one if you don’t hang out with one, but most of all because it basically deplatforms them in reality.

      I also just wish I could stay inside and never go out there again. People are hard. And I’m worried about how I appear all the time. I never want strangers to know I’m trans so I avoid letting any of that show. So when they do realize that’s always really awkward. But trans stuff aside, people are hard. Very hard. I’m now taking 6 psych pills a day. It helps but it’s still not enough.

      • OttoVonGoon@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        I’m sorry to hear that. I have really bad self-esteem issues around my body and I have spent my life avoiding the public most of the time for that reason, it’s really limited my options in life. I promise that there are other people like me out there that would support you if we saw you, not criticize you. You deserve to be you wherever you feel like being.

    • avenging_beatrice@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      I am proud of you for making the choice to ignore the accepted programming of “but faaaaamily” and judge whether to let these individuals into your life based on who they are as people. It is such a hard thing to do. I have nearly cut off all contact with my family - father included - because of such attitudes, and I’m not trans, either. As adults, making friends takes more purposeful action, and that means time in a lot of cases, but it’s worth it. (BIG INTERNET HUG)

      • OttoVonGoon@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        Thank you so much and sorry it took me so long to reply. It’s nice to hear there are other people out there like me that are going through the same things. Hugs back!

  • MagicKnifeGoat@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Today has been the first day in a long time where I’ve been able just enjoy it and realise I am enjoying it in the moment. I took the day off work, had a therapy session and I went to gym. It’s been lovely so far + I made my therapist laugh so I won therapy

    • rozwud@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      So happy for you! Being able to enjoy the moment is something I am very much struggling with right now, I’m really glad you’ve been able to make that happen.

  • avenging_beatrice@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Well, on Monday I was informed that I was not being moved to the next round of interviews for the “promotion” I had applied for. This is the third time I have put myself forward at this place - which practically has no paths for growth or career movement. I have been giving myself this week to grieve, then next week I start planning. I’m not desperate to leave, I still like my job, but I will be crafting my next steps. It will be a challenge, which for brevity’s sake I won’t expand on here, so that has me feeling a bit anxious, blue, and trapped, but this is the grieving week. It’s all part of the stew. On the positive side, my spouse is still my rock, and a friend surprised me with her level of support, and I feel closer to her. This is great because I have been wanting to be better friends.

    • shon@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      I’ve been thinking about my career too and it caused an argument with my SO the other day. I like where I’m working but I don’t get to do much programming or circuit design, things I went to school for. I just got to one year being here and now I feel like it’s time to start thinking of where I should go next

      • avenging_beatrice@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        One of the issues at hand is this: employers now have things structured where there are only so many roles and only so many people in those roles, and so someone has to leave before you can level up in any way. And even if you can demonstrate that a new role is needed and how you are the natural candidate to get that new role going and grow with it, in order “to be fair”, they have to open interviews because they no longer promote people just on merit, you have to apply for everything. I think that for some roles that’s a perfect strategy, but I think that giving people opportunities to grow based on their performance should also be a thing. Otherwise, you end up in a position like I am in.

        This is the third time I have interviewed for another internal role. My boss knows I am seeking to grow. I am kickass in my current role (boss’s words) - so is the other person I suspect was my competition (they tried to play it off as though there were several candidates, but I’m pretty sure it was just one other) - but instead of being rewarded or given a growth opportunity of any kind, I was left the option of competing for the chance to grow. It makes me kind of resent the extra I put in that I didn’t have to because what was the point? The other person did not put in that extra, and they either have the job or are at least going forward.

        My boss has offered a feedback meeting if I want one, but I wonder if there’s a point. There is no guarantee of a timetable for another position like this opening up in the near future, and even if it does, my implementation of their feedback won’t make that much difference (I’ve tried that track twice already) because I will have to compete for it anyway, and twice already those efforts seem to have no influence on their decision.

        Companies complain about talent leaving, but then restrict all growth to singular paths gated by competition with one’s coworkers instead of a person’s own drive and abilities, even if it was that person’s efforts that showed the need for the position.

        As I said, I am grief-staging right now. Bitterness is one, right?

      • avenging_beatrice@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        I should also add that I’m sorry your situation has caused an argument with your SO. You don’t have to give more details if you’d prefer not to, but I am curious, I confess, how that happened. If your current place has no paths for growth or change, then there is nothing wrong with looking elsewhere or finding out what you need to acquire to make that change - whether it’s elsewhere or at the same company. Life is to short to stay in unhappy jobs; I believe it’s what has caused a lot of health problems in our parents’ generations.

        • shon@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          A while ago I watched this video about tech careers and it mentioned that working at a big tech company is a huge benefit for your resume. So I mentioned to my SO that I think it’d be good for our future if I can get a job there and we live in California for a year or two. When I caused the argument I brought up California for the second time and just talked about two benefits I thought of at the time. My SO previously told me she doesn’t feel like she gets any say just because I make more money. I thought we were just having a conversation but she felt like I just didn’t care about what she thinks. It ended up being a good chance for me to grow, I’ve been working on improving my communication and I apologized.

  • sincle354@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    My BF failed their exam that would have given them enough credit to not have to take a final semester. COVID and a lack of support for their mental health makes this their 6th year of college. Sadly, this means a few more months of long distance relationship, but at least he isn’t at risk of being kicked out for being trans.

    …For now. I’m fully prepared to make the drive and extract him from a bad situation. We’re feeling better than expected, though, since now the dread of the test looming over his head is gone.

  • mint@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    it was my birfday last thursday

    i did the lego great wave of kanagawa set

  • farcaster@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Pretty good! I just made an account here. I’ve been on Lemmy/Fedi/etc for a while but finally found my way to the hive.

    Now I’m sipping coffee to get ready for the workday. Hope y’all have a good week.

  • mitch@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    It’s a real-feel of 105 F in Philly. I am so hot. Please, somebody summon some rain.

  • EremesZorn@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    It’s early on in the week, but not bad at all. Finishing the moving process in my apartment and just working overnights out on the highway, which is pretty chill. Aside from that, cleaning, gaming, reading, the usual.

      • EremesZorn@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        Reading has just been old BattleTech novels, and I’m playing The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky series right now. About to clear the second game.
        If you’re unfamiliar, TLoH is a JRPG series created by Falcom. While I’d say the gameplay is decent (it’s got the old school turn-based JRPG thing going on, along with a turn order system), the storytelling and worldbuilding is where the series shines.

  • Thalestr@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Bit up and down. Not as productive as I would have liked thanks to mental health, but also not terrible either. I’d give it a 6.5/10