I write this with homemade maple jalapeno cornbread in my mouth, gifted to me by the bar staff at my local pub this evening. This is simultaneously the best and most unexpected thing I’ve ever brought home from a bar, my significant other excepted.
This got me thinking: what is the weirdest thing you’ve brought home from the bar, Lemmy?
Borat voice my wiiiiiiiife
Many years ago I got to the bar early, before my friends, and while waiting I applied for a job using their Wi-Fi. And I got the job. The job looked good on paper but my new boss f***** me by wage theft and pocketing pension contributions. It was fun, but it would have been more fun if I had been paid according to the law.
Chlamydia!
I really don’t get how anyone can have sex at the bar, or in a random bathroom somewhere 🫥
In this case, it was a cheap blowjob bar in a shady red light district. I felt that something was wrong before I even made it back to my hotel.
American here. What is a bj bar?
I guess it’s more brothel than bar, but it’s a place you can get a beer and a blow job. I’m not aware of any in my home country either. However, as they say: “when in Rome” (or in this case, Bangkok)…
Since I received more than I bargained for, I won’t be going back to that establishment and I’m tempted to leave a bad review on Google.
Ha, bar! I moved across the country in such a fashion that I connect with no one and sit in my apartment alone drinking on Friday nights.
Sounds fun though!!
Boo! Go to a bar and ask someone weird questions! You might get cornbread, who knows?
Raising one to you my friend - I know how tough it is to connect with people after moving sometimes. 👊
I moved like 10 years ago, everyone was cool at first, then everyone thought I hacked them because I know about networking then I worked from home for ~5ish years and lost my patience for 99% of people. It’s all good though!
I feel like there’s WAY more of a story here - why on earth would a bunch of folks think you hacked them just because you have a commonish, if esoteric sounding, skill set? - but if you’d rather leave it there that’s cool.
I’ve been working from home for almost 5 years now, and to be honest it drives me nuts. I kinda miss people, thus the bar. Not exactly the healthiest social outlet, to be fair, but I like it more than staying home.
Moving to a high COL area without an education (it’s fine, I make a ton of money now, I’m a self-taught programmer) will get you tons of crazy stories. I guess people here get their identity stolen a lot? It’s happened so many times that I’m scared to tell people I meet that I know anything about computers.
I moved to Los Angeles. The people here move slow and are dumber than a box of rocks. Not to be a hater, maybe I’m just bitter.
COL?
I interpreted it as high Cost of Living area if it helps.
Yeah it’s cost of living
A friend brought home a giant, bright blue, sparkly Mary-in-a-bathtub. We googled it afterwards and found out that it was super valuable, so we brought it back, but it took three of us to get it back there and was much less fun than stealing it.
The hell is a mary-in-a-bathtub?
Not from a bar but I got drunk as a teenager and brought a pair of skis I found back to my Mum’s house. My old room was used as a store room when I moved out and they were in there for like 15 years. I helped clear it out, asked where the hell these skis came from and was reminded of the drunken find I’d totally forgotten.
Skiison’s Greetings!
A girl.
My wife !
Baddum tshhhhhh
Thanks folks, tip generously and tell your friends I’m here all week.
Be me: out drinking with friends for several hours.
Be them: acting completely normal.
Be me: drinking makes you pee, so me go pee, many times.
Be us: we’re drunk! Having a great time.
Be them: still acting completely normal.
Be me: say good night and put on my leather jacket.
Be me brain: Damn I’m drunk cuz this thing feels like it weights a ton ! Stumble home.
Be me front door: watching the confused, bemused, astonished drunk reach for his keys and pull lemon after lime after orange out of his pockets, but no keys.
Be me front door glass: Watching him stuff them into his jeans pockets like a never ending clown car of NINE pieces of citrus.
Be me keyhole: Watching drunk-e-poo finally find his keys, and let himself in.
Be me: laughing and drunk and wondering what the hell’s going on…
Be them: laughing their asses off, wondering when I’d finally notice that every time I got up to pee they took whole bar garnish and put it in my pockets.
This narration style is a bit tiresome
So are you man
I brought home a spoon this week. Friend also got one. They’re really nice spoons. Trying to decide where to put it - silverware drawer seems a little dismissive of how excited we were to get them.
Frame it in a cheap glass case with a little placard that says “Break glass in case of cereal emergency”
Nothing, I’ve never been in a bar in my 35 years of life.
congrats!
What?
Congrats on having never been to a bar. In my experience, they’re not healthy places. All sorts of debauchery and sadness happen at them, masked by alcohol and other drug use. They can be fun, and certainly many patrons are responsible and healthy, but that’s not always the case. That’s all.
My ex wife.
A man.
Some guy known only as “The Brazilian”
The only thing I know about him is that he was not Brazilian.
Skindred cd, case of strongbow, few bottles of liquor, promotional pack of jeagermeister swag (metal bar sign, bombshot glasses, thongs, t-shirts), and various other little things.
Customer appreciation golf outing then party night, everyone at the golf outing got raffle tickets (I didn’t go to that), but then got too drunk to keep track of them, so I ended up with like 12 of the winning tickets at the end of the night when everyone was clearing out.
One of my friends brings homemade hot sauce to the bar and gives little tester bottles to people tho.
