No idea whether its more of a guy thing, I definitely catch myself doing it on occasion…

          • cheese_greater@lemmy.worldOP
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            9 months ago

            Just remember that its not actually a bad thing to find out you are incorrect or maybe didn’t have a full grasp on something and you get to experience that anonymously instead of IRL.

            I like when others clarify or correct me because then I end up a little wiser. Growth mindset is a beautiful thing :) Just think of it like a game, you can do it :)

            • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.ee
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              9 months ago

              I was referring to the postal service thing. There’s nothing “growthy” about sending fifty dollars to a self-harming friend for his birthday to show how much you care and then learning the mailpeople “lost” it. It would be another leap of faith that only threw me down a hole.

              • cheese_greater@lemmy.worldOP
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                9 months ago

                Sorry to hear that but perhaps there’s better ways of sending money to friends. I personally wouldn’t send money any way but erctronically if I had a choice because it can be done instantly and there’s no room for error.

                Also, by growth-mindset its referring more to the attitude that being wrong or failing is part of the process and its not something to be ashamed of or have any negative attitude towards if it happens, but to use it to grow and be better prepared in the future, or simply discount it altogether if you don’t pick up anything you can integrate.

                When people downvote my stuff, I try to see what I can takeaway from their critiques but it doesn’t affect my essence or mood because its all ideas and only pertains to my knowledge or ideas at that snapshot in time, its not the ending to my story or even any particular chapter unless I identify it as paradigm-shifting for me.

                Edit: i would avoid sending money in the mail, it would probably be better to transfer it. Lettermail is the most likely to fall thru the cracks and they handle billions and billions of it everyday

                • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.ee
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                  9 months ago

                  The reason I opted to send it through the mail is because we had been teasing the idea of doing something penpal-ish for a while for different reasons, and the circumstances with his mental health, birthday, and miscommunications accumulated in such a way that I thought it would fit to start up the penpal thing. And again, it was a leap of faith, because I like thinking that if I break the cycle of distrust, I can be pleased with the outcome. Except we are dealing with an organization that many here would call irresponsible for a reason. I don’t exactly like to think the burden should be on someone who shouldn’t be dealing with something where the alternatives are killed by matter of norm/law/culture (I happened to wrap the money in a blue letter this time, not sure what that factors into). If you were referring to Lemmy, downvoting on here is meh.