What should I say or not say to the therapist for the first time? Should I come out and say I think I have ADHD or should I avoid my own self-diagnosis and ask them to evaluate my habits on their own? Anything I should say or not say in a first chat? Anything that may be a red flag or green flag with a new therapist?
I didn’t get diagnosed until my 30s too. I had the same feeling too. I was scared they’d think I was just seeking meds. I talked with my dr for a good 30 mins, unheard of honestly… and explained to her the way I’ve felt all my life… she got me a survey and she said after I finished it that she already knew she was going to treat me before the survey based off of our conversation. For me anxiety and adhd are one in the same. The meds allow me to stay focused for at least 6-8 hours at my current dose. It’s incredible. Best of luck. Just be honest. You know yourself better than anyone else. I also explained my anxiety which I think helped the awkwardness of my conversation.
I’m hoping that I won’t need meds at all and there’s an approach where I can just use therapy to help me understand myself and how I can manage my bad habits.
What’s frustrating is that I took some tests when I was younger but they were administered by someone in my family who actively was hoping I wouldn’t have ADHD and therefore wouldn’t need meds - so that confused me a bit… unless they were right and I’m potentially an anxious mess instead. But anxiety might be it’s own meds 🤪. Still would like to avoid it.
ADHD is one of the conditions that responds best to meds (success in the 70-80% range). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2518387/
Be open to it if you are diagnosed. My life changed drastically for the better in ways that habits or awareness could not have helped - lack of fatigue, depression gone, able to actually start things (activation energy), etc. ADHD is a difference in how our brains function and it’s hard to out habit a brain that is determined not to work the way it “should”.
Should also note the meds are different now than when we were kids.
Vyvanse changed my life. Without it, my career would have stagnated and my marriage would likely be over. I was diagnosed in my early 40s. I didn’t realize how many of my issues stemmed from the frustration caused by being forgetful, procrastinating, aggressive, etc. The meds, along w/ years of therapy, help me manage my brain. I’m still the same person w/ many of the same issues but I am able to manage them much better. I’m not saying meds are for everyone. But be open-minded. Realize that ADHD is just like any other disease or disorder. You would take meds for diabetes or high blood pressure. It is the same thing.
I know the feeling… believe me. I tried to not use meds… I never want to take an prescriptions. Somehow I saw it as being weak or feeling reliant on something made me… less of a person? I don’t know how to describe it. I even started using marijuana as a more “natural” alternative for awhile. Ultimately, through introspection I felt that not seeking the meds route was doing myself a disservice for a since of control that wasn’t necessary. I totally empathize with you and get it. Best of luck to you.
Do what you want, but you don’t have bad habits. Please don’t beat yourself up. It’s how your brain works.
I appreciate that perspective. They aren’t bad habits, they are different habits… and they work better in certain scenarios too. Convert those mannerisms to superpowers I say.