• linearchaos@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    OMG, Had just moved into a new house. BEAUTIFUL white kitchen, marble counter tops, light grey floor, whole 9 yards.

    Kid 1: I want home made pizzas for my birthday party

    Me: FUUUUUUU…OK

    Day of:

    Split up the 17 batches of fermented dough I had made into pie rounds

    Broke out the cast iron skillet.

    Started working out dough rounds.

    Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

    Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

    Round -> corn starch-> skillet -> on the range on high sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next

    CRANKIN’ IT OUT BOSS!

    Oh shit I’m out of red sauce, grab another giant glass jar from the pantry

    Go to grab something with my off hand, swing the sauce too close, comes down on the edge of the counter, 99.9% over the floor. CRACK!

    Bottom of the glass jar just falls off. I’m wearing cargo shorts, it fills my pocket, and my shoe, and slops into the open drawer and down the counter face and as the glass hits the floor, the sprays up all over the rest of the counters and my shirt and the ceiling and the lip of the counter.

      • linearchaos@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Honestly even with the bloodbath that was there I couldn’t hope to even approach the majesty of that photo.

    • Rob T Firefly@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago
      • Living space with pristine white room and furnishings
      • Living space with one or more children

      Pick one.

    • RalphFurley@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Man I thought the other night was bad. Just got my new fizzy drink maker machine. Showed my kids how awesome fizzy orange juice is. I didn’t release the pressure after fizzing it up, remove the bottle and BOOM, fizzy OJ goes EVERYWHERE… ceiling, my face, walls, the clean dishes on the drying rack, windows etc etc. lol

      • jaybone@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        You’re supposed to make water fizzy, and then afterwards add flavor (which contains sugar.)

        I don’t think you are supposed to add it before otherwise it explodes everywhere?

        • RalphFurley@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          DrinkMate will fizzify any liquid, it’s different than the soda stream where you add their flavors. I use this for water mostly tho

      • linearchaos@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Oh yeah, I have one of those. My failure was lemonade. They need to make one with a longer straw so you can keep the liquid further down in the carbonation bottle. Anything but water is a constant s*** show

    • Peppycito@sh.itjust.works
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      9 months ago

      When mayonnaise used to be sold in glass jars I dropped a brand new jar and had mayonnaise and broken glass everywhere.

  • Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca
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    9 months ago

    I used to be a delivery driver for a pizzaria. One night I got a really far delivery, like half an hour each way. I guess during that time the lasagna steamed the paper delivery bag, because I picked it up by the top (stupid) and made it three steps from my car before the lasagna fell out the bottom of the bag and exploded on this dudes driveway. Very sad.

    • Psythik@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Then what happened? Was the customer understanding? Did you have to make the drive out again to replace it? What did your boss say?

      • Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca
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        9 months ago

        The customer was very understanding. I did drive out a second lasagna. Boss was angry, but he was always angry.

    • Empricorn@feddit.nl
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      9 months ago

      Half an hour is a “really far” delivery? In the city I live, because of traffic, everything is about 20 minutes away, no matter the direction.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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    9 months ago

    That is definitely lasanyer, because no one makes lasagna with one giant sheet of pasta on the top and bottom.

  • Hegar@kbin.social
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    9 months ago

    Is that troy “I sniff the seats of female parliamentarians and snap my opposition staffers’ bras” buswell?

    Edit: misremembered, turns out it was a labour staffer.

      • Good_morning@lemmynsfw.com
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        9 months ago

        These comments while not always inaccurate seem out of place, like I’ve seen fat fucks around the globe. America has an obesity problem for sure but this just comes off with a lot of smug.

        • JamesStallion@sh.itjust.works
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          9 months ago

          There is data, so we can be positive that America has more fat fucks per capita than almost anywhere else on the planet. The only countries with higher obesity rates are the various pacific islands.

          • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
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            9 months ago

            America will fight hard to protect their number one status on this, but these comments are starting to be pots calling the kettles fat. In Europe obesity is nearly 1/4 and 50% overweight. Making a fat=American poke is just losing it’s predictive power by quite a lot now. It’s not as safe a bet as it was in the 90s.

        • Saik0@lemmy.saik0.com
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          9 months ago

          It’s not even making a good point… that portion is NOT that big (looks like it’s 15x15 cm or something roundabout. Just because some people can eat a larger meal from time to time doesn’t really point at any particular nationality.

      • De_Narm@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Far off actually. I’ve just always eaten a lot, anything less and I start losing weight.

      • Saik0@lemmy.saik0.com
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        9 months ago

        That has the area of 2 feet

        Looks more like 6x6 inches to me… that would be 0.25 sqft.

        It’s on top of the shoe, and on average people’s shoes are less than a ft long. It looks about half the length of the shoe to me, possibly slightly more.