I am that dude they were complaining about. They used me as some sort of representative to attack the rest of you with.
I came really close to owning a home one time. It was just outside of this really terrible neighborhood and only cost 20k. This was in 2015. The house was small, but it had a barn, a chicken coop, a big area for horses that the neighbor was using (and I agreed to continue to let them use it if they’d teach my kids to ride the horses). A drive down the hillside led to trash and drugs. Somehow it didn’t extend up the hill yet.
Actually I know why it didn’t. In 2001 the neighborhood below it was flooded. The folks who lived there for years and kept it nice took the fema bucks and rolled out. The houses sold for 4-6k and the people who migrated over from the poorest part of West Virginia didn’t even bother repairing them. They just moved right in.
That killed the property value all around it, which was fine with me.
We were all set to close on the loan when I caught my ex cheating and my whole life caved in. Oh well, such is life.
It kind of stings to think I’d own it right now and a chance like that probably won’t ever happen again. The problems would have probably spread up that way eventually though and I’d regret moving there. That helps a bit.
I learned a lot about life through all that mess though.
I’d forgive her, she’d do it again. She’d say she loved me, then sit up in the bed in the middle of the night and say, “I just don’t love you anymore.” The chaos would start again. I’d go crash with my mom, she’d ask me to come back, then she’d make me leave again after a week or so. This dragged on for about 3 years. The last time I was driving her to work, leaned in to kiss her, seen a mark on her neck. I rolled out, she was fine with that. I met someone else, she lost her damn mind. Ended up being committed, finally settled down with the last guy she cheated with, was diagnosed with breast cancer and died at 33.
Fortunately for her, he is a great dude. He took care of her and stayed by her side through all of that hell. He still maintains an active role in my daughter’s life and he doesn’t have to do that. She’s there now actually. She’s been there for a couple weeks.
I learned that I have control over nothing. Every aspect of my life is one moment away from pure chaos and destruction, so I’m thankful for what I have while I have it. Nothing is promised, nothing is permanent. I find meaning and comfort in exactly this moment and I’m ok with that. When the hard times come, I will survive them until I eventually don’t. That is reality for all of us, I’m not special, and anyone who finds me special will find me special for a time. Believe it or not, I have peace.
I’m a really young zoomer and most millenials I interacted with were also really nice.
But there were also a few jerks
Life, in a nutshell haha.
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I am that dude they were complaining about. They used me as some sort of representative to attack the rest of you with.
I came really close to owning a home one time. It was just outside of this really terrible neighborhood and only cost 20k. This was in 2015. The house was small, but it had a barn, a chicken coop, a big area for horses that the neighbor was using (and I agreed to continue to let them use it if they’d teach my kids to ride the horses). A drive down the hillside led to trash and drugs. Somehow it didn’t extend up the hill yet.
Actually I know why it didn’t. In 2001 the neighborhood below it was flooded. The folks who lived there for years and kept it nice took the fema bucks and rolled out. The houses sold for 4-6k and the people who migrated over from the poorest part of West Virginia didn’t even bother repairing them. They just moved right in.
That killed the property value all around it, which was fine with me.
We were all set to close on the loan when I caught my ex cheating and my whole life caved in. Oh well, such is life.
It kind of stings to think I’d own it right now and a chance like that probably won’t ever happen again. The problems would have probably spread up that way eventually though and I’d regret moving there. That helps a bit.
Take this fist bump, fellow cheating-partner-cost-me-a-house human.
sad fist bump
Sucks don’t it?
I learned a lot about life through all that mess though.
I’d forgive her, she’d do it again. She’d say she loved me, then sit up in the bed in the middle of the night and say, “I just don’t love you anymore.” The chaos would start again. I’d go crash with my mom, she’d ask me to come back, then she’d make me leave again after a week or so. This dragged on for about 3 years. The last time I was driving her to work, leaned in to kiss her, seen a mark on her neck. I rolled out, she was fine with that. I met someone else, she lost her damn mind. Ended up being committed, finally settled down with the last guy she cheated with, was diagnosed with breast cancer and died at 33.
Fortunately for her, he is a great dude. He took care of her and stayed by her side through all of that hell. He still maintains an active role in my daughter’s life and he doesn’t have to do that. She’s there now actually. She’s been there for a couple weeks.
I learned that I have control over nothing. Every aspect of my life is one moment away from pure chaos and destruction, so I’m thankful for what I have while I have it. Nothing is promised, nothing is permanent. I find meaning and comfort in exactly this moment and I’m ok with that. When the hard times come, I will survive them until I eventually don’t. That is reality for all of us, I’m not special, and anyone who finds me special will find me special for a time. Believe it or not, I have peace.
Sorry for all involved. But yeah, we all just… Exist. We choose to make meaning for ourselves, if we want to.
There’s a thin line between anguished despair and nihilistic optimism.
A thin, intentional line.
It can be alluded to, highlighted, charted, and otherwise discussed ad-infinitum, but it’s damn near impossible to lead another to.
Only have one comment to read (and I’m sorry how much it cost) but it looks like you’re at peace indeed.
Kudos to you, but remember you can backslide in acceptance and working back out is okay too!