• The Barto@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    162
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    They get him on the stand and the judge says " so Mr Newell, remembering you are under oath, when is Half Life 3 being released?"

    • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      45
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      *Gabe starts gesturing to his lawyer to do something*

      “Just answer the question.”

      • Excrubulent@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        38
        arrow-down
        4
        ·
        1 year ago

        I mean the simple response from the lawyer is, “Objection, relevance,” and the question gets tossed out.

        I demand accuracy in my jokes, even if it kills them.

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          34
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          “Objection, relevance?”

          “Public interest.”

          (Though in my joke I meant his lawyer, instead of objecting, would entreat his client to answer the question)

          • Excrubulent@slrpnk.net
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            18
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            1 year ago

            Ah, I understand now. [MODIFYING JOKE MATRIX TO ACCOMMODATE NEW INFORMATION]

            “Your honor, I need to fire my lawyer.”

            “Mr Newell, no competent lawyer in this country would defend you on this point. If you do not answer the question I will hold you in contempt.”

      • Socsa@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        33
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        Gaben will then slowly drop his head and whisper into the microphone with a wry chuckle - “You fool. You have just activated my trap card.”

        Immediately, the Half Life 3 release will drop. Gaben has been holding it back, continuously updating for decades, awaiting exactly this moment. The judge, completely flabbergasted at the proceedings will immediately declare a mistrial. Legal scholars will then study the “Gaben defense” for decades.

    • arefx@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 year ago

      If this happened I think Gabe would just say “it’s not happening, not at least the way you all want” and then we get some half life cyberchip augmented reality game in another 15 years (it is good though)