Masturbatin’ Mike Johnson just got his first legislative win!
I’m so proud of this man who sends his porn history to his underage son.
I hope that nickname sticks lol
It’s definitely sticky…
“My girl got sick so I’m stuck here on Friday night pulling a Johnson”
Copied a previous comment of mine. There’s some ugly context to this:
Former fundie here. Y’all are probably misinterpreting what is going on.
Mike Johnson is a True Believer™ from what I’ve seen. Doesn’t mean he’s not a terrible person, but his motives and actions aren’t necessarily as simple as repressed urges to view gay porn.
The most likely explanation is that Mike Johnson’s son was watching porn and got caught, probably more than once. He probably admitted his guilt early on, but he attempted to hide the activity. So, not only do you have the kid for sexual immorality but you’ve got him for dishonesty. After hours of lectures at the boy - involving his mother, father, possibly clergy or youth leadership - the poor kid is probably swearing on a stack of bibles that he sees the light and will never do it again. That’s not good enough. He can’t be trusted as this isn’t the first time.
This passage was probably pounded in bone deep:
Matthew 5:
27Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. 29And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. 30And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
So, the boy should rip out his own eyes and cut off the hand he jacks off with. Maybe he should castrate himself. If the behavior continues, he’s willfully hellbound. Doesn’t he understand?
So, Mike Johnson, wonderful paragon of fatherly leadership, says they will both install this software. That way he can prove what a good person he is and bear the cross of his son’s sin. See how great he is? He’s helping the boy with his problem. Barf.
So, now the kid’s ‘sin’ is making national news and impacting his father who is a Great Man™.
Christian guilt in a nutshell.
I really feel for the poor bastard. Hopefully he makes it out from under the shadow of his father’s insanity. It’s truly evil shit.
I also grew up a fundie evangelical and am out of it now (and coincidentally ‘out’ now at nearly 40).
This is bang on. Hearing this story didn’t really phase me because it’s a clear misinterpretation of what they do.
They have an accountability software like xwatch or covenant eyes that tracks everything they do online (limited to machines it’s installed on so any adult could just go buy a new device) and reports any shady URLs to their ‘accountability partner’. Mike is playing that role for his son which, in fundie land, is great parental support. And for reasons unknown to me, his son seems to play that role for him, which is decidedly less common as it elevates a son to an equal position with the father. But this shit happens sometimes, especially in a particularly insular family where it would be damaging for the truth of these behaviors to come out. A good example is how the Duggars handled Josh being a sexual predator before it went public.
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What’s that nickname from?
He gave an interview where he talked about him and his son monitoring each other’s porn consumption
I’m just gonna leave this here for anyone who wants to make up their own mind about just how bad it really is. It’s not murder, but to me it is genuinely disturbing on a number of levels, not least of which is that poor kid whose wakening and still pre-adult sexuality has been pre-empted to his dad’s questionable morals/politics, and is now all over the national news. (I bet that’s going over well at school for him.)
I don’t try to decide how bad it is for others, but I am amazed at the people here who think they can. So here’s some sauce:
The video: https://twitter.com/receiptmaven/status/1719402267537789152
The article: https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/mike-johnson-son-monitor-porn-intake-covenant-eyes-1234870634/
Oh god, I didn’t even think about the kid having to go to school with this being in the news.
It was honestly much less explicit than that. They were each able to see the other’s search history, which his rationale was to make sure neither were watching porn. At no point in the interview was there any indication either watched porn (on a device with this monitoring program). The dude is a zealot nutjob, but on this one it really isn’t as bad as the headlines that were written
The app is Covenant Eyes. https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/11/mike-johnson-republican-speaker-interview-covenant-eyes.html
It gives you a blurred view of the porn the other person is viewing in a near-realtime feed https://www.covenanteyes.com/how-it-works/#activity-feed
It is exactly as bad as it sounds unless they choose to claim to not be using this feature and we choose to believe them.
If he’s a bonafide sincere fundie, then it’s a ruse to show his son how perfect he is while monitoring the son’s internet usage with the illusion of mutual accountability and respect. His son catching him watching porn would shatter the image of infallible masculine absolute authority that fundie parents wield over their families.
Johnson uses covenant eyes to spy on his son. That’s all it is. He watches his porn on a different device, or legit doesn’t watch porn and just meets prostitutes thrice weekly.
He’s a fucking scumbag no matter how to try to twist it.
So, he basically did the same thing that McCarthy did? I don’t remember if it got brought up before, but does Johnson still have to worry about getting deposed on a whim, or did they not include that this time?
He did exactly what they threw McCarthy out for and Democrats got everything they wanted, Republicans got nothing of what they wanted.
I think this could be looking at it from the wrong perspective. To me, Johnson’s rise to speaker looks like a calculated effort by Christian Nationalists (aka MAGA) to position a future coup leader and presidential candidate. McCarthy is an unpopular career politician, where Johnson is a younger unkown on the national stage. The Conservative propaganda machine tried to position DeSantis as Trump’s successor, but he’s proved a total failure.
Calling it now. Johnson will run for president in 2028 and, depending on polling, could be Trumps VP pick. He wouldn’t think twice about doing what Pence failed to do on Jan 6.
Trump will be 82 and in jail or dead by 2028.
Stop it, I can only get so erect!
Don’t threaten us with a good time!
Some scandal will tank him before he gets that far. I heard rumors a male escort is going to come forward about a relationship with Mike Johnson. Not saying that’s true, but it’s just a matter of time before something comes out.
Johnson’s rise to speaker looks like a calculated effort by Christian Nationalists (aka MAGA) to position a future coup leader and presidential candidate.
Yes, and look how well placed he actually is: from unknown to third in line to the presidency of the US. Given a successful coup, the involvement of the military, or some as yet unforeseen fiery tragedy involving the president and VP, he’s ready to slide right in.
I think that’s exactly why Johnson was chosen, and quite possibly why the change in rules regarding the speakership was demanded even before the very first day of the 118th Congress.
It’s still in place: https://www.axios.com/2023/10/29/johnson-gop-house-speaker-rule
The far righters weren’t happy and voted against this. But they said they weren’t going to kick him out because of it.
…Yet?
gaetz caught the car last time, he will stay in three yard this time.
It seems that that may have mostly been a guise for how much the Freedom Caucus personally hated Kevin McCarthy more than anything.
You have to remember, these people don’t actually have principles or goals.
Basically, they are acting like school kids. Class might not calm down for the substitute teacher, but when the principal shows up they suddenly behave.
I look forward to House GOP members brawling publicly.
Steel chair or it doesn’t count.
I wouldn’t bet against it
It’s basically just WWE, and just as real.
Sadly, it’s as real as it gets. We’ve got a bunch of idiots running the country, and there are a lot of voters who like it that way.
Don’t fall for it, they’re not as dumb as they look. I equate it to WWE because it’s a bunch of huffing, puffing, and grandstanding to keep the attention on them. Meanwhile, they’ve already planned the outcome.
No, they really are that stupid.
Deathmatch on the Senate stairs!
The vote was 336 to 95, clearing the two-thirds threshold required for passage. In the end, 209 Democrats and 127 Republicans joined to pass the bill. Ninety-three Republicans opposed it, as did two Democrats. Senator Chuck Schumer of New York, the majority leader, told reporters that he wanted the Senate to vote on the bill “as soon as possible.
And the Hard Right is pissed.
Yet despite that…
Tuesday’s statement from the House Freedom Caucus included the line: “… we remain committed to working with Speaker Johnson”.
They don’t have much of a choice. They barely elected Johnson. A vote to boot him is a vote to have no speaker. And ousting McCarthy lost then their best money maker.
Good. Let them keep pushing and pushing. At this point, the only thing that will save this country is Trump et al managing to destroy themselves. We only got Obama because Bush let Wall Street run amok.
So, whose gonna be the third speaker?
A rotting racoon carcass would be the best bet.
Mitch McConnel is already employed over in the senate?
No I said racoon not turtle.
sorry. my mistake :)
People have been talking about Trump running for Speaker since 2020. Technically, the Constitution doesn’t require the Speaker to be an actual member of Congress. Realistically, I think Johnson will stay because I don’t think the 95 hold outs will have enough votes to force another election.
trump is likely ineligible for that role. You know. Oath of Office… Insurrection. 14th amendment. There no way they’ll get 2/3’s the votes of both the house and the senate to overturn that.
He wouldn’t want the job. As President he could isolate, as Speaker he’d have to get off his rear and do stuff. Also, he wouldn’t be the Main Man, El Numero Uno, etc etc
So this is good right? Have the Republicans realized shutdowns are bad?
No, they didn’t realize it yet. That’s why so many of them voted against it.
They realized not nearly as many people have been drinking the kool-aid as they thought. So they’re pulling back a bit to sweep some of the rubble under the rug so they can go full bore on how incompetent Democrats are by not fixing everything all at once all the time and try and win more seats in next years major election.
The Times seems to have upgraded its paywall, so here’s a more accessible source.
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This is the best summary I could come up with:
The House passed legislation on Tuesday to keep federal funding flowing into early 2024, after Democrats stepped in to rescue a plan opposed by many Republicans to avert a government shutdown at the end of the week.
In the days leading up to this week’s funding deadline, some hard-liners in Mr. Johnson’s conference had suggested that Republicans should let the government shut down and use that as leverage to try to force lower spending levels.
But in his first major test as speaker, a post he won just three weeks ago, Mr. Johnson quickly moved to pull the government back from the brink of a shutdown, using the same formula that prompted his predecessor’s downfall.
The House Freedom Caucus, a group of approximately three dozen hard-right lawmakers, announced ahead of the vote that it would oppose the measure.
Representative Chip Roy of Texas, an influential conservative, said that some of his colleagues believed Mr. Johnson’s promise that he wouldn’t advance another stopgap bill to fund the government and was only doing so because he had only become speaker a few weeks ago.
“We have consistently made clear that a government shutdown would hurt the economy, our national security and everyday Americans during a very fragile time and must be avoided,” top Democrats wrote in a statement before the vote, led by Representative Hakeem Jeffries of New York, the minority leader.
The original article contains 1,036 words, the summary contains 230 words. Saved 78%. I’m a bot and I’m open source!
The Democrats can’t do this again though. Republicans want to govern, let them govern. Let the voters see what it means when the government stops functioning. Give them a prelude to 2025 if Trump wins.
Eventually it’s not just hundreds of thousands of federal employees that starve. It starts getting to CMS funds and people can’t get healthcare. Then SNAP can’t get funds and people start starving. Not something I’d be willing to gamble with for political gain.
So if they were to take over and their infighting causes these events, what then?
