I game with my friends for about 3 hours every Saturday (Or at least we try to, different schedules now that we’re all grown) and almost every Saturday I hear shit from my s/o. It’s hilarious how if I’m spending time with my friends on an online game it’s a waste of time but if she goes out and hangs with her friends (which also costs money) it’s not a problem. Also these are my close friends from my hometown but I moved so it’s not like I can actually go see them.
Why the fuck do people have partners who have so little in common with them to be point they deride their interests? lol That’s so dysfunctional. It’s almost always straight relationships like that, and usually the same pattern: the guy gaming or doing nerdy stuff and the girl doing social media stuff. I’ve never seen a non straight relationship fall into the same pattern, it’s just baffling.
It’s like the straight millennial equivalent of the boomer “wife bad” meme. I’m halfway convinced that A) the straights are not okay B) people are still letting social pressure push them into unwanted relationships, C) people don’t know how to control their dicks and so they wind up in toxic relationships because “she make my peepee hard” and that’s all that matters.
A) Straights are not ok. We have millenia of horrible, toxic, abusive, patriarchal relationships instilled into every aspect of us. It’s so bad the homophobic usually fear other men treating them the way they would treat women. That’s fucked up.
B) See A.
C) See A. But a little more complicated, because I know 14 year old me, and not until 25 year old me was his brain completely finished growing. 14-22 year old me made decisions that he didn’t have the ability to see or understand yet. I feel bad for him. There wasn’t a good structure in place to teach him better.
Confirmation bias. My relationship is super healthy, I’m free to hang-out with friends as much as a want both in person and over video games. I also have a 12" dick that causes my SO to have an orgasm every time I touch her. Why would I make a post about that? Even if I wanted random internet strangers to upvote my post, I would absolutely change the story.
You both have every right to spend time with your friends.
I would guess that you need to have a serious, honest discussion about what the real problem is. Unless that gets solved, the superficial complaining (and the resentment it causes) will eventually seem like the real problem, but solving that won’t fix the underlying issue.
Address it now, before the concrete hardens. Otherwise, it’ll only get worse.
The constant barrage of stories like this is part of the reason I have no interest in forging a romantic relationship with anyone. Stories like this make it sound like it fucking sucks and will drag you down. I know they aren’t really the norm, but damn they’re fuckin’ everywhere. Why would I willingly subject myself to that kind of treatment? 'cause he/she/they are hot? Bitch, control your fucking dick/vagina, it’s not that hard.
Edit: to clarify, this post is engaging in some light hyperbole. It’s not the only reason I have no interest in a relationship, and I know there are plenty of healthy, loving relationships out there; however, the fact that people keep entering into toxic relationships and then seemingly try to pretend that relationships are just like that is mind-blowing to me.
I know, but the toxic:not-toxic relationship story ratio sure tries to make it seem that way. It’s like the modern equivalent of the boomer “wife bad” meme.
Probably because the stories of “my SO is awesome and we both try to make each other happy” isn’t the type of content that gets engagement on the internet.
Nobody really cares if you’re happy on the internet, but everyone loves saucy drama.
Also, not to burst any bubbles or anything - but stories on the internet are sometimes lies.
I know I know, big if true. But people want to be entertained and feel something. So stories of toxic relationships and infidelity gain a ton of traction, often because it let’s people look down on others to feel superior.
Relationships are hanging out with your best friend as you build a life together. Don’t let internet stories make you think that’s uncommon or not possible!
Waow, people go on the internet and tell lies? Noooo, how can that be?
Tbf it’s not the only reason I’m not really interested in a relationship. I have enough problems in my life right now, I really don’t need to add a potentially toxic relationship to the pile. Sure, if it’s a loving, caring relationship then it might help solve a lot of my issues. However, if it’s toxic, then it’s gonna make a lot of them worse. It’s just that seeing stories about “my wife hates my video games”, “my girlfriend is addicted to tiktok”, “my boyfriend won’t stop working out” etc makes me less interested than I already am.
Nobody’s writing reddit/lemmy essays about how great their life is, these topics are skewed toward people venting and ranting. My wife is great and has zero problems with how much I game, and I have no problems with how much she crochets or watches YouTube or watches TikToks or plays Powerwash Simulator. The only thing she’s ever gotten upset about was me spending time on my phone instead of talking when we were out at restaurants, which is perfectly reasonable. She understands my compulsion to pick up and play new games, because it’s the same thing for her with books on and off of her Kindle.
But even before I nuked my decade-old reddit account, you’d never find me posting about it except in comment sections like this where it was relevant, and we’ve been together a better part of that account’s existence. I don’t need advice or to express my love to anyone but her, because we’re happy with each other and willing to talk to one another when we’re having problems.
To be fair, thats just partially because toxic stories are more interesting. Like, me and my wife have a not-toxic relationship, she never gives me shit about playing videogames even if I spend a whole day gaming, but that just isnt as good of a story to read lmao so I dont bother telling it online, except in this exact moment
Its sort of like survivorship bias. People with toxic relationships need to talk more about it and feel the need to post more/comment more asking for help or vent about there bad situation.
Reality is there are more good relationships that people dont feel the need to post or talk about as there isn’t much to say beyond ‘my partner loves me and respects my interests’.
I game with my friends for about 3 hours every Saturday (Or at least we try to, different schedules now that we’re all grown) and almost every Saturday I hear shit from my s/o. It’s hilarious how if I’m spending time with my friends on an online game it’s a waste of time but if she goes out and hangs with her friends (which also costs money) it’s not a problem. Also these are my close friends from my hometown but I moved so it’s not like I can actually go see them.
I don’t want to judge, but imo a good partner doesn’t complain about you spending time with your friends, but rather encourages it
Why the fuck do people have partners who have so little in common with them to be point they deride their interests? lol That’s so dysfunctional. It’s almost always straight relationships like that, and usually the same pattern: the guy gaming or doing nerdy stuff and the girl doing social media stuff. I’ve never seen a non straight relationship fall into the same pattern, it’s just baffling.
It’s like the straight millennial equivalent of the boomer “wife bad” meme. I’m halfway convinced that A) the straights are not okay B) people are still letting social pressure push them into unwanted relationships, C) people don’t know how to control their dicks and so they wind up in toxic relationships because “she make my peepee hard” and that’s all that matters.
Not just social pressure, but economic pressure these days as well.
A) Straights are not ok. We have millenia of horrible, toxic, abusive, patriarchal relationships instilled into every aspect of us. It’s so bad the homophobic usually fear other men treating them the way they would treat women. That’s fucked up.
B) See A.
C) See A. But a little more complicated, because I know 14 year old me, and not until 25 year old me was his brain completely finished growing. 14-22 year old me made decisions that he didn’t have the ability to see or understand yet. I feel bad for him. There wasn’t a good structure in place to teach him better.
If the people in my town are any indication, its because they keep raw dogging random chicks until one gets pregnant and marries that one.
Confirmation bias. My relationship is super healthy, I’m free to hang-out with friends as much as a want both in person and over video games. I also have a 12" dick that causes my SO to have an orgasm every time I touch her. Why would I make a post about that? Even if I wanted random internet strangers to upvote my post, I would absolutely change the story.
I would not be with someone who said this kind of shit to me…
You both have every right to spend time with your friends.
I would guess that you need to have a serious, honest discussion about what the real problem is. Unless that gets solved, the superficial complaining (and the resentment it causes) will eventually seem like the real problem, but solving that won’t fix the underlying issue.
Address it now, before the concrete hardens. Otherwise, it’ll only get worse.
The constant barrage of stories like this is part of the reason I have no interest in forging a romantic relationship with anyone. Stories like this make it sound like it fucking sucks and will drag you down. I know they aren’t really the norm, but damn they’re fuckin’ everywhere. Why would I willingly subject myself to that kind of treatment? 'cause he/she/they are hot? Bitch, control your fucking dick/vagina, it’s not that hard.
Edit: to clarify, this post is engaging in some light hyperbole. It’s not the only reason I have no interest in a relationship, and I know there are plenty of healthy, loving relationships out there; however, the fact that people keep entering into toxic relationships and then seemingly try to pretend that relationships are just like that is mind-blowing to me.
Why would you indeed? That’s not a requirement for a relationship.
I know, but the toxic:not-toxic relationship story ratio sure tries to make it seem that way. It’s like the modern equivalent of the boomer “wife bad” meme.
Probably because the stories of “my SO is awesome and we both try to make each other happy” isn’t the type of content that gets engagement on the internet.
Nobody really cares if you’re happy on the internet, but everyone loves saucy drama.
Also, not to burst any bubbles or anything - but stories on the internet are sometimes lies.
I know I know, big if true. But people want to be entertained and feel something. So stories of toxic relationships and infidelity gain a ton of traction, often because it let’s people look down on others to feel superior.
Relationships are hanging out with your best friend as you build a life together. Don’t let internet stories make you think that’s uncommon or not possible!
Waow, people go on the internet and tell lies? Noooo, how can that be?
Tbf it’s not the only reason I’m not really interested in a relationship. I have enough problems in my life right now, I really don’t need to add a potentially toxic relationship to the pile. Sure, if it’s a loving, caring relationship then it might help solve a lot of my issues. However, if it’s toxic, then it’s gonna make a lot of them worse. It’s just that seeing stories about “my wife hates my video games”, “my girlfriend is addicted to tiktok”, “my boyfriend won’t stop working out” etc makes me less interested than I already am.
Nobody’s writing reddit/lemmy essays about how great their life is, these topics are skewed toward people venting and ranting. My wife is great and has zero problems with how much I game, and I have no problems with how much she crochets or watches YouTube or watches TikToks or plays Powerwash Simulator. The only thing she’s ever gotten upset about was me spending time on my phone instead of talking when we were out at restaurants, which is perfectly reasonable. She understands my compulsion to pick up and play new games, because it’s the same thing for her with books on and off of her Kindle.
But even before I nuked my decade-old reddit account, you’d never find me posting about it except in comment sections like this where it was relevant, and we’ve been together a better part of that account’s existence. I don’t need advice or to express my love to anyone but her, because we’re happy with each other and willing to talk to one another when we’re having problems.
To be fair, thats just partially because toxic stories are more interesting. Like, me and my wife have a not-toxic relationship, she never gives me shit about playing videogames even if I spend a whole day gaming, but that just isnt as good of a story to read lmao so I dont bother telling it online, except in this exact moment
Its sort of like survivorship bias. People with toxic relationships need to talk more about it and feel the need to post more/comment more asking for help or vent about there bad situation.
Reality is there are more good relationships that people dont feel the need to post or talk about as there isn’t much to say beyond ‘my partner loves me and respects my interests’.