Being a non-native speaker doesn’t help, for sure, but one can learn. Point in fact: I’m french :) And as a non-native speaker, I find it great that English has well-known gender neutral pronouns, so I’m more than happy to use them. I wish French had one so commonly accepted as “they” and “it”.
Also I don’t know if you refer to my post as aggressive, but if so I’d appreciate if you could tell me why. I haven’t called anyone names, and I think I responded respectfully to the OP.
I don’t want to start a war here, and I don’t have the context of what you experienced over there. Perhaps they did go too far. But if you don’t know the gender of someone, it is indeed incorrect to assume “he” is OK. That’s inclusion 101: don’t assume things about people. There is a commonly accepted solution to this problem, used e.g. in the academic peer review world where the reviewer is anonymous, which is to default to “they”. That’s a good habit to take, costs nothing, and helps (particularly) women feel included. That’s a hill I’d happily die on.
To be a bit pendantic, I think your argument applies more to using libraries than frameworks. You can do everything you describe by using a set of libraries or off the shelf solutions (for DBs, ML, etc), without them being part of an overarching framework, and without reinventing the (whole) wheel.
It’s clear that using libraries over rolling your own for everything is sound advice (in 99% of the cases). But I think the picture is more nuanced when it comes to frameworks.
The value that frameworks bring on top of this is that someone has already done the work of gluing two or more disjointed libraries together (e.g., auth and DB). But the drawback is that you also loose the ability to look outside the framework (or you have to do extra work to escape it’s constrained world), and compose things exactly the way you want. Frameworks tend to be invasive, and force you down a certain path, be it good or bad. They are helpful to get to a working solution quickly, but they may constrain you unhelpfully in the long run.