SIGTERM: stop that.

SIGKILL: That was not a request.

Case power button: listen here you little shit

This is exactly why he gives me the heebie jeebies. That fuck would sell out his own mother for a Klondike bar.

I know we used to find common ground and reach across the aisle, and I just don’t know how we’ll ever get back there now, to be quite honest. In that way, the American political landscape in the last 50 years has gotten much, much worse.

I’m honestly not sure how much of that you can attribute to foreign powers vs. Ronald Reagan, Donald Trump, and Dick Cheney (off the top of my head – there are many more), but it’s interesting to think about.

I will chip in if someone sets up a GoFundMe to do exactly this

Like, how much could it possibly cost to hire someone in NYC to do this for a few hours some night? Surely this is a crowdfundable amount.

I still cannot fucking believe, in all that time onstage, that was the thing that made Biden come alive. Fucking golf.

it’s like a garden path sentence written by an eldritch horror

I don’t know if you’re in the same boat I am, but this is about the boat I’m in:

saw that on here a couple days back, and I’ve been applying to jobs for six months! The 'tism is some bullshit.

I’m sure I could get a job at Walmart or McDonald’s if I had no standards, but frankly I’d rather just scrape by doing Uber and Lyft. And everything else that I have applied to? Got me two whole interviews. In six months. Which I then never heard back from.

Fuck modern employment culture, man.

“oh no, the vegans are leaving!” said no-one ever

Don’t care + touch grass, don’t eat it. Bye 😘

no no, you misunderstand, vegans/vegetarians usually aren’t doing it to be healthy, they’re doing it to feel morally superior.

What you mean to mock them with is “yeah cartels are wholesome, sex and drug trafficking is good for the soul 🤗”

I’m still in the process of letting mine die (hope is a stubborn thing), but sometimes you need to accept your lot in life. Not everyone gets to do everything they want to.

now, I just don’t know what else to dream for instead. As it is, I’m just existing and waiting to die.

it’s nice to see I’ve never had an original thought in my life

Friendly reminder that nobody asked you for your opinion on others choices, and it’s a shit one.

On the one hand, yeah, this is a horrible thing to say to someone

On the other, if anyone ever reminded you of Stephen from Django Unchained… This guy’s a pretty good candidate.

The homing briefcase will forever be one of my favorite if not my absolute favorite bugs. Especially as it was later embraced as a feature.

Now for some reason I really want to see “Pink Floyd / The Wall” edited into the Walmart font.

Oh, no!

it’s almost like people can have shared experiences or something. Wild!

no, this is patrick

I have achieved that, when I was younger and skinnier, and it’s not even all that great. For one, yeah, kills your back. Two, it’s more like sucking dick than getting your dick sucked, so let’s hope you’re good at that – and if you are, you’re going to end up with a mouth full of cum.

Now, I’m gay, so these last two points didn’t bother me any, but I was so sore from the experience I did it like twice and then never bothered again. I imagine a straight guy would be even less impressed.