Honey, my middle and high school years were spent among bi and gay furry girls that would talk like this all the time but also they would scratch and hiss at each other.

I thought i accidentally found my mom’s buttplugs in her nightstand when I was younger, it makes me feel a lot better to know they were just headphone stands.

A year or two ago, I got really excited about a comic book shop opening in town and got chatty with the owner. I decided to take him up on some drinks and a smoke sesh but we had two different goals in mind; I just wanted friendship (which i made clear to him) and a business I could give money to, he wanted to sleep with me. Things got super uncomfortable and branched into sexual harassment and I can’t go back to the only comic book store in my area now.

Comic book guy’s mistake wasn’t the act of wanting to get to know me or even being attracted to me, it was that I voiced many times that he was making me uncomfortable and i just wanted to be friends until it got to the point where I was worried about my safety around him. If you feel like there’s some connection, i don’t think it’s wrong to say “hey we have some great conversations, would you be comfortable with me giving you my number?”; it’s all up to you to be aware of what signals she’s giving off and how to respect “no” as an answer.

Always put a damp towel underneath a cutting board so it doesn’t move when you’re using it. I credit this in combination with safe knife holding techniques as the reason why my comically clumsy ass hasn’t had to go to the ER to get stitches/reattach digits in the 15 years I’ve been cooking.

My cats will just swat at the bug until it’s crippled and fuck off, leaving me to carry out the mercy kill. Little assholes.

I’ve been trying to lose weight by making gradual changes in my eating habits in the hopes that it will result in a big change that i can stick to for the rest of my life and I’ve learned a reasonably sized slice of pizza and a salad is pretty satisfying and salad really does go well with pizza. It’s not super healthy and by no means an everyday meal, but it’s better than eating half a large pizza in one sitting like i used to.

“You’ll save so much time making an illegal u-turn here. Don’t be a pussy, there’s no cops! Nobody else is out, it’s totally safe!” There was one other person out. It was a cop.

My mom would talk like this; she had the displeasure of being raised by people that had Klan ties and was never fully deprogrammed. Absolutely terrifying.

Idk why people are so freaked out by it. It doesn’t seem that different from layer cake.