As someone who also used to post OC and Mod on here, I can say looking back on things that the “general culture” I think you’re talking about is one wherein the community at large has allowed for the (mostly women) OC posters on here to feel unvalued/undervalued, or in some cases outright disrespected.
In terms of unvalued/undervalued, I mean that it comes as a real issue for any forum (or whatever) of this size to cover both the niche and general. I have since leaving here switched primarily to discord groups for the sort of OC posting I want to do, entirely because I have better interactions that way. For someone to see a pic of me they can’t just be browsing through /local. In those groups, I (and others) are sought out and enjoyed rather than tossed in with a mix of professional pornstars, hentai, and everything else. And remember, OC posters aren’t just doing this because they would like the honor to be included in your special jerkoff session. We do it because we want to enjoy the experience as well. I honestly have no advice for fixing this other than time and size, though in reflection I’d like to apologize to the Admins here for potentially having made them feel same way. Y’all deserve better than you’ve been treated.
And as for the outright disrespect @b9999998 , Annabelle’s most recent post proves exactly what sort of shit is being let slide:
Don’t let the door hit you 👋👋👋
is the top comment on a post saying goodbye to the few likeable men on here when she decided it was time to move on. ANNABELLE BROKE NOT A SINGLE RULE and STILL, she is currently being allowed to be disrespected over a policy the Admins and Community agreed on: “Self-Promotion is only okay as long as the community you are posting in allows it, and you don’t spam it.”
Fuck y’alls absolutist need to say the first thing that comes to mind for once, and start thinking about how to develop a community that’s not entirely comprised of men with last weeks shit stuck to their balls. The silent rule #1 of any mixed gender group is “don’t bother the women (and queer folk) or they won’t come back”.
So riddle me this anyone: how the hell are you supposed to keep women around when users can criticize (physically), disrespect, belittle, harass, or mock the women who would like to be part of this community? If a new woman joins and sees those sort of comments directed towards a likeable woman who’s followed all the rules, do you think she’s going to want to become an OC poster on here?
I appreciate Admin(s?) who stepped up to have those TOS violating comments removed, but it says something deeply wrong that those comments were able to stay up for 7 hours during the most busy part of the day without a single user reporting them. If this is SOP, the users here might need some prodding to get them to use the report. Sorry to say, but anyone who reads toxic comments directed at a woman they like and doesn’t report them, but instead chooses to write a nice comment, is the real issue. Though on the bright side, they are probably some of the most capable of improvement.
And while the initial responsibility is on her to manage the comments in her community, it can be tough to remove comments (especially when finances are involved) as women can be perceived as “too bitchy” or “can’t take criticism”, especially when someone is speaking about their person. Some form of a more robust system could be developed; maybe a few trusted volunteers who could offer Mod assistance on “self-communities”, an Admin assigned to overlook the biggest “self-communities” (she is after-all still your #2 post of today), or other system that can enable the community and admins to take action rather than the singular OC/Mod.
Sorry for dumping this on you Admins btw. I know there’s many things you’re working on to improve the whole experience here, but after having time to digest my experience here and seeing another woman go right as i’m coming back, I just thought I’d say something. Btw, removing downvotes will definitely help foster a better and more respectful community that keeps women and queer folk around. It’s actually why I decided to log back on, so count me as proof it’s working.