“Are the transgenders in the room with you now, sir?” Irish Prime Minister Micheál Martin asked the most orange man in the world, President Krasnov in the oval office.

Krasnov declared, “Everything is transgender. Everybody is transgender. That is all you hear about and that is why we won the election in record numbers. Also they are hurting women very badly.”

Micheál Martin leaned back in his chair, folding his hands in his lap. “So what you’re saying is… the transgenders are here. Right now. With us.”

Krasnov hesitated. His eyes darted around the Oval Office—the grand curtains, the gold-trimmed Resolute Desk, the bust of Churchill watching them in silent judgment. He exhaled sharply. “I’m saying they’re everywhere. The media. The schools. The military. Even… even here, perhaps.”

A tense silence settled over the room full of reporters.

Krasnov, tiny hands splayed, nodded sagely. “I see you’re doubtful but it’s true. I’ve been saying it for years. People didn’t believe me. They laughed. But now? Look at what’s happening. Look at the numbers, folks. We won the election in record numbers because the American people know. They know the truth.”

Martin tapped his fingers against the armrest. “And what truth is that, Mister President?”

Krasnov leaned in, lowering his voice to a whisper. “That everything is transgender now. It’s in the air, the water. You drink a Diet Coke? Boom—transgender. You turn on your microwave? Guess what? Transgender. You use a self-checkout at Walmart? Folks, I hate to say it… but that machine is gender non-conforming at best.”

Martin sighed, “Sir, we should speak on the economy and the tariffs you’ve placed on Ireland! Fiddle dee dee, potatoes!”

Trump waved him off. “The economy is fine. Best economy in history, actually. But you know what’s not fine? The radical gender agenda. The woke mind virus. We have to stop it, and we will. Believe me, we will.”

Martin let out a slow breath. “And how, exactly, do you plan to do that?”

POTUS smiled. “We are going to have the greatest, most incredible ban you’ve ever seen. A total and complete shutdown of transgender until we figure out what the hell is going on.”

The Irish Prime Minister cleared his throat. “Sir, respectfully, I don’t think that’s how gender works.”

Krasnov frowned. “Martin, you know, I thought you were on our side. People said you were strong on this issue. But now? I’m not so sure. Frankly, some people are saying you might be transgender. Not me, of course—I would never say that. But people are saying it. A lot of people. Yuge numbers.”

Martin’s face turned red. “Mr. President, I am not—”

Just then, the lights flickered. The air in the room grew unnaturally cold. The American flag in the corner shuddered as if caught in an invisible breeze.

Martin sat up straighter. “Did you feel that?”

Krasnov swallowed. “Yes. They’re here.”

A voice echoed from nowhere and everywhere at once.

“We have always been here.”

The two men froze.

And then, the room went dark. All that could be heard were screams and the clickety-clacking of pills in plastic bottles.

Remember this list in two years!

If Trump pardons some terrorists, why not a little bit of pardon for every supporter?

I mean, Trump is immune for all that fraud of his, so it’s only fair to pardon all fraud.

We can look forward to four years of this trash.

There are dozens of us.

Proportional Representation or bust!

I’m not so sure that the issue is mainly logging. I thought that they’re selling them off piecemeal as conclaves for the ultra rich.

Lost me at “climate change religion”.

Look here, GOP. Deregulation does not have a great track record, and is as challenging to implement as the regulations you’re trying to skirt!

Potential risks and challenges

• Increased Risk of Misconduct: Reduced regulatory oversight may create additional opportunities for financial misconduct, requiring enhanced internal controls.
• Compliance Complexity: Deregulation often leads to a more complex regulatory environment as institutions navigate evolving federal frameworks alongside increasingly divergent state obligations.
• Product Innovation Risks: Periods of regulatory transition may encourage the development of products or services with limited regulatory guidance, potentially increasing future compliance exposure.
• Uneven Oversight: Changes to regulatory structures, particularly regarding non-bank financial services providers, may create competitive imbalances and necessitate enhanced oversight of institutional partnerships.
• Reputational Risk: Compliance failures in any regulatory environment can significantly damage an institution’s reputation and erode customer trust.

https://www.wolterskluwer.com/en/expert-insights/no-rest-for-the-wary-deregulation-is-regulatory-change-too

Murca: let’s use frickin lazor beams!

Canada: magnets boil water go brrrrrrrr

1. Denial

Murca fucked it up. Same story.

And Murca fucked that up too.

So did Viet Nam, right?

Removed by mod

We should start with Civil Defence Corps training.

You’re just not eating enough carrots, my dude. You got measles due to carrot deficiency.

I’m still waiting for that natural immunity to ebola to kick in. Am I malnourished?

You don’t need to, Canada gives it at steep discounts already.

“We are unabashedly pursuing a [RUSSIAN] policy of more American energy production and infrastructure, not less,”

FTFY, Murca

Cons have the majority. If it doesn’t pass, it means they don’t have the votes. Simple. No matter what the Speaker says.

In the future, there will be no history except Krasnov’s.