• Samuraipizzacat@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Worst thing we can do is spend time with people who don’t actually love us. 34 and I’m ripping my life up by the roots because I let myself be taken by others who I made happy but never cared enough to pay attention to me. Everyone is mad at me for making the decision to end my long term relationship. What no one understands is how unhappy I was trying to force myself to be happy.

    • theragu40@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I’ve said this to other people before when trying to counsel them regarding difficult decisions.

      Does what you are doing ultimately make you happy? Strip away everything else, every other factor. Especially those that involve others. Narrow it down to this one thing: the pursuit of your own happiness. At the end of the day, your own happiness is very literally the only point to anything. We get one life to live. If you’re doing something that isn’t pushing you to be happier, what are you doing? Why do it? What purpose is served by being unhappy?

      Certainly not every individual action will make us happy, but I think it makes sense to really assess whether our choices and paths are building towards something that will increase our happiness, and strongly consider dropping things that do not.

      Of course the catch is that this simple advice is quite difficult to enact. Assessing whether something contributes to your happiness requires a level of self understanding and introspection that people may not be comfortable with. But that journey is part of the process, IMO.

    • SovereignState@lemmygrad.ml
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      1 year ago

      I feel you. Been realizing I’ve been too boundaryless, been too open, and I let people in who did nothing but take advantage of my kindness and love and gave nothing back. They turned me into someone I’m not, told me who I am, told me what to think.

      I was told I alienated these people, that I was the problem. What am I thinking anymore? Good. Glad I alienated the people who could only love me if I acted, looked and thought a certain type a way. I am figuring out who I am now and I like the guy I’m getting to know. Hope you’re getting the chance to get to know yourself better now that you’re single and you’re liking who you’re meeting, too.

      Can’t let others control us, our thoughts, our beings. I speak only from my experiences, but sometimes it can be easy to find ourselves carrying the burdens of others’ expectations and demands while barely even realizing we’re being crushed.