Understanding nuance and then applying said understanding in communication with others.
I can’t begin to mention how often people need to know something but won’t accept how non-yes-or-no the answer might be.
Exactly. I always say that nearly everything that exists in life does so within the grey area between black and white.
not anymore it seems.
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
–Robert A. Heinlein
Yeah I don’t agree 100% with this author or anyone, really, but I always return to this quote when I watch the world attempting to corral the magnificent potential wonder-beings that are humans, into hyper-specialized hive-pod roles.
All the jobs out there that actually pay seem to want people who were bred and raised their entire lives for that stupidly specific role to the exclusion of all else. Humanity’s versatility is our strength, and once again, the rich want to covet it while making the rest of us into specialized parts for their machines.
So my answer is “learning.” A lot of people don’t know how to learn new things, and stop trying, probably because their schooling failed them.
They are then frustrated easily by inconvenience, and incapable of solving problems or finding help. This is a brain gone to waste.
A lot of people pick one specialization and decide to just not learn anything else and that’s the most depressing thing in the world to witness. (I met a lot of older people who just stopped learning things after what must’ve been highschool. Huge yikes…)
Fix things. Make things. Fail a lot. Troubleshoot. PLAY.
Try whistling. Can you snap your fingers yet? How about training your way up to a handstand, maybe? Hey, yo-yos are fun.
Don’t like guns? Go learn how to safely use one anyway just for perspective. Cars? Try learning your own (simple!) repairs. Never learned to ride a bike? Best time is now!
Try planning a hangout. Join a meetup that sounds vaguely interesting. Learn how to tie knots. Learn how to stop trauma bleeding. Sew a cloak or something maybe. Teach somebody else things you know!
Don’t limit yourself by your first impressions of things you’ve never experienced. So many people look at something and just say “I can’t. I’m not that person. I won’t like it probably.”
Our modernization led by ruling classes has stripped us of so many experiences and then sold them back to us with admission fees. So much human potential and knowledge has been siloed away and sold back to us as “goods and services”, while we’re relegated to being “consumers.”
Human beings were made to do a multitude of tasks, and use their strengths to cooperate to the betterment of all, not to be alienated and separated by specific specializations they aren’t allowed to stray from.
Seriously, enjoy how much absolute potential you have instead of doing one thing you felt good at and being scared to try anything else.
Computers.
We have them around us every day. We carry them in our pockets every day. Our lives and all of society relies on them. People have been growing up with them, and can’t imagine a life without them.
So imagine my distress at how everyone is so incredibly tech illiterate.
Bate
Being able to swim.
Was recently driving a bunch of other girls to our university maintenance class after it had poured and we came to a part of the road where it descends into a depression before fully rising back up. That day the depression was flooded, making a lagoon. The back-up road would take us an extra 30 kilometers around, so after briefly stopping, I decided to rush forward and go through the water. Every last passenger started silently panicking (silently enough I didn’t notice) and one threw up out of fear, and thinking it was car sickness, I stopped the vehicle, which made everyone panic more and try to “abandon ship” because they thought the vehicle was going down and need help because it was the areas beside the road which were actually deep. And here I am thinking “this place is as wet and flood-prone as Hurricane Harbor, what have you been doing all your life that you can’t swim”. If someone can’t, why?
The answer for me amounts to shame. Being in that scenario once did not help.
This has been a mandatory part of the Swedish schools for many decades.
Sadly, due to migration, new culture norms and parents have stopped bringing their children to school when they know it is swimming on the schedule due to boys/girle sharing the same pool.
So wait, school isn’t mandatory in Sweden of all places? How does that work?
How to use a lathe, compliment someone without expecting anything in return, and blend in on a city street.
If you are in the US… Learn how to drive already. The vast majority of adults are going to drive every day, and most of those are going to drive at least twice a day. The degree of competency in driving seems to fall to a new low every year.
Signals - Use them. If you don’t have time to check, signal, check, maneuver, then you don’t have time to make that turn/lane change. If you don’t signal, you’re not driving, you’re just fucking around in a 2 ton death machine.
Distracted driving - it’s a myth. You’re either driving, or you are fucking around in a 2 ton death machine.
Turning from wrong lane/driving across onramp shoulder - know where where the fuck you are, and if you make a wrong turn, don’t endanger your life, your passengers lives, and every else’s on the road. A good driver rarely misses their turn, a bad driver never misses their turn. If you are cutting people off to make your ramp or turn, you’re not driving, you’re fucking around in a 2 ton death machine.
Frankly, I’m of the opinion that speeding should not be a primary offense. If the road is clear and some dude checking his lanes, using signals and paying attention to the road wants to drive 110 on the freeway, let him. They’ve never almost killed me, but idiots in cars fucking around on the road like they are the only people on the road nearly cause me an accident almost every day I drive now. I rarely get through the day without using my horn to wake up some jackass about to kill someone, and those people should get pulled over, fined, and have their behavior corrected.
Edit: Also automatic lights were a mistake and they should be banned.
I would add proper lane usage and following distance. If you’re on a multi-lane road you should be passing the people on your right. If you’re not, get over to the right lane. Leave enough space in front of you to stop in case of an emergency, this also helps with congestion as the space allows you to keep rolling at a slower speed rather than having to stop and go which propagates to everyone behind you (unless they leave enough space to not have to stop) and causes a bigger delay.
Generally agree, although worth noting that which side you pass on depends on which side of the road people use to drive in your country. In the US, driving on the right means overtaking on the left. One could say that generally the advice is to drive in outermost lanes (closer to the road shoulder) unless overtaking in lanes further from the shoulder.
Remember heavier cars take longer to stop so you need that 18 wheeler in front if you passing things 10+ seconds before you so that you don’t collide ifvthey suddenly hit the brakes.
I should, but I had to stop somewhere, rather than just post a cranky version of the DMV driver education manual, So I arbitrarily stopped where I did. Feel free to chime in and gripe about idiots almost killing us daily though.
Sorry if my reply came off as argumentative. I thought your post was very good.
No, no, you’re fine. I just stopped where I stopped. You’re spot on that bunching up in lanes causes jams.
I try to drive with the mentality that lanes should be “permeable”, cars should have sufficient space to make easy moves between lanes. When you get a solid line of cars, people start driving the same way deer try to cross a highway.
You must know when to hold them, and when to fold them.
I am certain this pertains to every aspect of life, but am still figuring out exactly what to hold or fold, and when.
Haha my laundry room door says this.
Know when to walk away. Know when to run.
Cooking.
Following a recipe is a good start, and at least allows you to feed yourself beyond microwaved bullshit or going out to a restaurant. Knowing the science behind it, however, can open up new avenues to making dishes you love even if you can’t get all of the usual ingredients because you will know what you can use instead without compromising the taste or texture.
The hard part for me is when my intuition must match the precise power of the equipment being used.
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It’s probably cliche but if you’re into youtube tutorials Basics with Babish is a great place to start. He teaches simple dishes that taste great and teach different skills. Another way to learn is to do one of the all in one delivery meal like hello fresh. It’s expensive but still affordable and it’s really good practice. If you dont want to spend on it you can also just get the recipes online. Also, if you find a dish a you really like you can make it whenever.
Isnt Hello Fresh just following the recipe without doing grocery shopping?
What does it do better than me finding recipes online?It gives you exact amounts of the right ingredients which alleviates a pain when grocery shopping.
Once you have enough recipes under your belt that you can figure out ways to use your leftover raw ingredients, it’s no longer worthwhile.
The recipes are really well done especially for a learner. This is one of the ways I taught my teens to cook.
Even the food pre-packaging can be a good thing beyond the convenience . While you could do the shopping yourself, sometimes people aren’t comfortable with that when you need small amounts for recipes.
Totally fair. The few recipes I saw from YT were quite neat.
There’s also the tragedy of choice. It may seem counterintuitive, but it can be easier to choose among a small set of curated recipes than the infinite variety online.
I generally go with something I find online, something I’m familiar with, or something I make up, but that can be difficult for some people until they gain experience. Even then I am tempted to bring back Hello Fresh for myself - it takes all the guesswork out, is very convenient, and is always a success
Totally. Decision paralysis is a dealbreaker.
Upsite: You don’t have to remember going for groceries as it’s all already cared for and the possibility for trying something actually new is higher.
No. You right.
Beat me to it! I was going to say at least a couple basic meals that you really enjoy. It can be fancy, or it can be some dorm quality things that fill you with nostalgia, as long as prepping it and eating it makes you happy.
We need to eat, and we need to feel satisfaction from something we have done ourselves, so do both at once.
Meditation. It helps with self-control, emotional regulation, stress, and builds discipline. Screen addiction is real, and meditation helps.
Every time I’ve tried, I just end up sitting there.
That’s kind of what it is. Just try to think of nothing. I just think about the air going into and out of my lungs.
Polite conversation
Knowing when silence is damaging
Knowing when to shut up
Knowing when to leave a conversation, a room, a party, a relationship, etc.
I always feel like if you’re spending time with someone new, it’s OK to have stints of silence. It’s one thing to get along with someone by having easy conversation. At the same time it’s nice to know that you don’t always have to fill up every moment with dialog. To just exist in someone else’s presence is sometimes enough.
That’s something I struggle to internalize, even when I’m with my best friends. I dunno how to be comfortable with silence, with a lull in the hangout sesh, it just eats me up and makes me feel like a bad friend.
Yep. Right there with you. With my upbringing if someone was silent around you, they were seething at you for something you did. And you know what it was! (You probably don’t, actually. Good luck guessing.)
This makes things unnecessarily interesting when I have long car rides with my naturally-introverted wife and I start feeling like I’ve done something terribly wrong when she doesn’t have much to say.
If I notice it, I just say to myself, “silence is good, quiet is peaceful. If they’re comfortable I am comfortable.”
Good tip, thanks.
I was going to make my own comment but this hits the nail on the head. Civil discussion. They or you may be wrong but make your point and let them make theirs and may the strongest prevail.
Assert your point but don’t be mean.
Sewing
You’ll save yourself so much money and time mending clothes, blankets, and doing your own mods instead of buying new things.
My wife laughs at me for mending clothes. I often darn socks, jeans, sweaters, etc. - takes about 10 minutes but dang, I just saved $80 on a new pair of jeans. DUH.
My jr high school made the boys take ‘home economics’ and the girls had to take shop class. We all thought it was a joke but, 40 years later, I can still sew and shank a button, fix a tear in jeans, and make a pan of muffins with the best of them.
Jeans maybe but socks would bother me soo much…
A properly darned sock doesn’t feel any different from a new sock. And if you match the color of the yarn, it can be nearly invisible.
I think visible mending is more fun – my husband’s socks have colorful little patches that make us both smile.
I feel you but honestly, you don’t even notice.
Pretty great, huh?
I started mending my clothes a while back. I’m not great at it but for the most part it’s passable enough to wear out in public and the process of sewing it is actually really relaxing. It’s nice to be able to save something that would otherwise be tossed out. Also I was able to turn an old t-shirt into dust covers for some of my PC peripherals I don’t use all the time which I was pretty proud of.
Yeah, I have a pair of jeans where the crotch wore out recently. Took me ten minutes to add a double-seam to it. Saved me at least $50. (All by hand, no machine.)
It’s such a useful skill!
I’ve got a hoodie that looks like Frankenstein at this point but it’s my comfort clothes. I think all the stitches give it character.
I love not having to throw old things I love away. I have a Star Wars shirt I’ve worn hundreds of times over the last ten years and the pits are wearing away. I just keep stitching them up, but probably should just patch them.
I learned to sew in my early 50s. Very helpful. I also leaned to… solder (small electronics) which is also a great way to save a lot of money, and to generate so much less waste.
Money, sure. Time. I’m not convinced.
You can mend holes in 5-15 minutes, it takes longer to find and buy new ones
Maybe with some practice. I know some basic sewing and can do some crude stuff in 5-15 minutes. If it was something I were going to wear to, say, work I would have to spend some time learning stitch patterns, getting the right thread etc. I also am not great at organization so no matter how many times I buy sewing supplies they always get shoved away to some place I can’t remember.
My wife is working on the sewing room so maybe I will be better orginized in the future. I’m actually excited about it but it’s not like it took us 30 mins to throw everything together.
Emotional stability.
Everyone has wildly varying emotions
Emotional regulation is the ability to steer the ship
sheepduring a storm.This superpower still eludes me most of the time but I keep practising.
Me in my head: masterful dialog which turns heads and begins paradigms
Me in conversation: i want ed ,to , w batch of yDid
Me in same conversation: that’s what she said
awkward silence
sheep
thanks for the catch, i fixed it
Row row row yer goat, gently down the stream
Funny enough, this is what one would call the Going Merry.
Don’t get it? Look up the Straw Hat Pirates’ first ship.
Try living off grid, without power, phone, internet. Heat with a wood stove, carry your water. Then reflect on your standards for life.
I can already do that, I’m an autistic bastard that can make up languages for 14 hours a day and still have fun
How to cook. Even if it is only a pair of eggs or a simple sandwich.
I can do it if there are instructions. Not so much if I have to rely on intuition.
