Kind of a follow up from my question from a few days ago, for me just depresses me and usually I’m working or worried about stuff anyways so I don’t know how to enjoy festivities, plus being eternally alone without a partner makes things even sadder. Xmas is more of a post it of how much my life has failed.
I don’t really enjoy the holidays. It’s too much stress, too many conflicting family obligations, too much effort dodging the religious aspects, too much forced cheer, and it all just makes me sad. Marginally I like putting up a tree, but after a couple of weeks I get tired of remembering to water it. I skip as much of the holidays as I can, and try to enjoy the small parts that don’t annoy me.
I think as far as holidays go, it’s pretty decent:
- I get some work free time.
- Its a distraction from the fact that there’s no fucking daylight which makes me miserable,
- I get some gifts and give some gifts. It’s not about their material worth but it’s cool that people actively try make someone else happy. We don’t do that everyday.
- There is a lot colorful lights. I love colorful lights.
- I get a lot of time to hyperfixate on some kind of programming / linuxing computer stuff. Maybe gaming.
I feel like a lot negatives of Christmas don’t affect me because: I don’t watch TV or ads, don’t go much to shops or any public places for that matter, I don’t really use social media outside of Lemmy. Also, I don’t have a big extended family.
I’m a Baha’i, so I just celebrate Ayyam I Ha. It’s at the end of Feb so I can take advantage of the after Christmas sales. The Ayyam I Ha Camel can apparently carry more loot than Santa’s Sleigh
I’m not religious so it’s just a cultural holiday. It used to be a time for family gatherings. Grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, etc. Most times I felt it was a pain in the ass. Now they are all dead and gone. In retrospect I wish I had taken more time to enjoy those family get togethers.
Thanks for sharing that. My family has been a bunch of loners as soon as the kids went their separate ways, but recently we’re experimenting with getting together for the holidays.
It doesn’t exactly come naturally to any of us, but I’m going to try to appreciate the moments while we have them.
I don’t like winter in general but Christmas is ok. I try not to put any demands on anyone, and only do what I can, but have worked at a place that closes for a week at Christmas, and that has made it a lot easier, getting an actual holiday for the holiday instead of scrambling to put it together.
You have not failed, you are alive, you are successful at living by definition. If someone at the holidays is making you feel unsuccessful, that’s mean. If it’s just you feeling it, though, they may not feel the same way. My kids LOVE unmarried aunts & uncles and I loved mine too. You are free to love them without responsibility, more like a friend and that is something kids can really use.
In the end, it’s just a holiday - most of us aren’t religious, it’s a get together time, some presents, a meal. When my kids were up northish, they said winter really was depressing because of the lack of sunlight, they had not realized that was a real phenomenon and were startled by how it made them feel. So be aware you may be feeling worse than usual just because of that, not seeing clearly or objectively.
Do not measure your life by the holidays, any of them. No one is a failure because a holiday is not perfect. And being alone is not always a bad thing. Be thankful that you are not in a toxic or violent relationship. And single people are not losers. Every individual gets to decide how, when and if they participate in social rituals, and holidays are one of them. It’s ok to hate them or love them. But it’s never ok to make others, or yourself, feel bad for having and making your own choices about social rituals. I personally left holidays in the past many years ago. I’m done, I’m full thanks. And I won’t feel bad because someone wants or expects me to participate. And I won’t make others feel bad because they don’t hold my views. We are all Human, and we all get to decide whats best for our self.
***And I won’t make others feel bad because they don’t hold my views. We are all Human, and we all get to decide whats best for our self.
Refreshing comment. Totally agree. If you want to enjoy life never think that you have all the right answers and that you have to impose what you think on others
Stress.
But every now and then I get a little whiff of the magic dust that other people seem to love. Like watching my partner dress a tree while listening to Frank Sinatra.
I don’t have any of the nostalgia for the effects, but I can put on a jovial kind of tolerance.
I’m building a new nostalgia, so that in a couple decades maybe I’ll really feel it.
Sorry to hear, try doing something small and festive, like making egg nog every year as a tradition
Fuck Christmas.
I work in education. Christmas time is so much better with kids. It feels empty without some 9-y-o bouncing off the walls and telling you all the things he wants for Christmas.
A reason to have fun, just cuz
Stress.
Stress about all the money spent on a midnight feast that we’re too sleepy and tired to enjoy (our Christmas meal here is at 12mn, it cannot start earlier), the gifts and decorations, and the electricity of all the RGB lights strung around to make our family to be “with the community spirit”. Stress about not having the energy to be able to smile and be cheerful all the time, or else you’d be the subject of dinner conversations, how you’re not “making an effort to spread the holiday spirit”. And worst of all, the stress of not being able to sleep and rest due to all the merrymaking, singing, and overall noisemaking (fireworks tend to be fired at random here, and increasing in frequency as it draws closer to the end of December).
I used to look forward to the food, the seasonal food, and the feasting. But now that I’ve got to prepare all that food, taste it, make adjustments based on who is going to be coming for the Christmas dinner, it’s just draining.
What is supposed to be a season to be merry, to be hopeful, and all that good cheer, has become the very cause of all the sorry hopelessness and drear.
I’m sorry that sounds so overwhelming. Is there anyone you press into your service to help out? Also potluck is great for these things because then no one has to cook more than one thing.
My partner’s parents just straight up said they’re not hosting anymore because it’s too much work. It’s allowed.
Christmas Eve with my family and the following two days visiting other family are nice. The whole buildup though December always pisses me off.
Im surprised to see that many people disliking christmas, seems like 50/50 in the comments, i would have expected something like 30/70
I find it stressful, i dont like feeling judged about how i give and receive gifts, having to be nice around my extended family even when they are mean or boring, the elaborate cooking, etc.
Im much more comfortable with new year’s night : no fixed traditions, usually with friends rather than family, overall simpler and just focused on being with people i like.
Christmas is just commercialized Winter Solstice. Happy fucking holidays.
