• solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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    1 day ago

    i thought about having kids, but decided i’m too busy doing whatever i feel like with all my spare time and money

    • MrLLM@ani.social
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      13 hours ago

      all my spare time and money

      Do you guys have spare time and money :( ?

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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        24 hours ago

        I don’t really think it is. I have a kid, but we felt that way for much of our 20s and into our early 30s.

        People shouldn’t have a child until/unless they really want a one. If you never want a child, you should never have one. One of many reasons abortion should always be legal.

        Children should never be abused or neglected.

        • MrVilliam@lemmy.world
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          23 hours ago

          Sharply agreed. My wife and I both work a lot and don’t have kids or even any pets (yet) and it’s insane to think that there was a time just a short while ago that one person with a high school diploma could work 40 hour weeks and it would cover a mortgage, two cars, multiple kids, and still have money for savings and modest vacations. DINK couples in their 30s like us are finally catching up to the average 20 somethings with a few kids of 40 years ago.

          Shit has changed. And as a result, I think that pro-choice should mean much more than just access to contraception and abortion. Pro-choice should mean that it’s possible to choose to have children too, as in childcare and diapers and everything shouldn’t be so prohibitively expensive that only the top 10% earners should have the flexibility for a pregnancy to be a blessing and not a life-shattering burden. If conservatives want babies to be born, they’re going about it all wrong.

          • MeatPilot@lemmy.world
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            22 hours ago

            Aye childcare is fucked. My spouse had to quit working full-time temporarily because childcare was more than what she pulled in a week. Was actually a savings to just not have one of us work until they were a little older and the cost finally dropped enough.

            Not that one of us was enough to pay the bills, we just had to get really creative with alternative income sources that didn’t require a full-time commitment.

            I love my kids, I hate America as it is today. I knew sort of the financial impact I was getting into having kids, but no one should have that just thrust on them because politicians systemically are removing all the alternatives.

        • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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          6 hours ago

          abortion should always be legal.

          not just legal, but free. for anyone who wants one, no questions asked

    • GoodEye8@lemm.ee
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      16 hours ago

      Kids are absolutely post main story content. You better have your life in order and your aspirations met because you’re about to do some serious compromising when you throw a kid in the mix. I think one of the best decisions of my life was to fulfill my needs before having children.

        • GoodEye8@lemm.ee
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          7 hours ago

          I don’t know about your situation but it is okay to not have any aspirations. I had one aspiration which is kind of a cop out because everyone wants that. I wanted to be happy with my life. I figured if I was happy I’d figure out what I really wanted to do. Once I figured out how to be happy nothing changed, I didn’t get some magical desire to do more or be more. I was happy and I was happy being happy.

          Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. If you have aspirations you’ll probably feel them, and if you dont feel them then maybe you don’t have them. There’s no set way to go through life, some people have aspirations and some don’t. The only good life advice I can give is that best way to go through life is doing whatever makes you happy. It’s your life, don’t live it for what society expects you to live for, don’t live it for what your parentst want you to live for, live for yourself.

          • Dave@lemmy.nz
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            5 hours ago

            Hey cheers for the heartfelt message. I’m cruising through life just fine. I’ve done plenty in my time, and I don’t think I’ve done much out of societal expectations. I’ve never had any big life goals or even small bucket list items, but it works for me.

  • lugal@lemmy.world
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    18 hours ago

    As a kid, I had a book about a kid always asking “why?” and at some point, aliens came to conquer the earth. While everybody was freaked out, the kid just continued asking “why?”. “To exploit earth’s resources” “to conquer other words” “to exploit their resources too” “to conquer other galaxies” “to further our rule” “to conquer… well I see now that it’s all meaningless and we go home now.”

    This is a story every child should read and don’t ask me why, it just is.

  • ekZepp@lemmy.world
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    24 hours ago

    Classic parenting trick.

    "What? I have to raise a couple of problematic force-sensitive twins as a single mother under a tyrannical dictatorship? Sorry but no. Too sad to live"🤷‍♀️

    • _stranger_@lemmy.world
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      18 hours ago

      The same thing, from the Silmarillion:

      The love of Finwë and Míriel was great and glad, for it began in the Blessed Realm in the Days of Bliss. But in the bearing of her son Míriel was consumed in spirit and body; and after his birth she yearned for release from the labour of living. And when she had named him, she said to Finwë: ‘Never again shall I bear child; for strength that would have nourished the life of many has gone forth into Fëanor.’

      [They try to heal her and even the gods fail at it]

      ‘It is indeed unhappy,’ said Míriel, ‘and I would weep, if I were not so weary. But hold me blameless in this, and in all that may come after.’

      She went then to the gardens of Lórien and lay down to sleep; but though she seemed to sleep, her spirit indeed departed from her body, and passed in silence to the halls of Mandos.

      Translation: This little shit has sucked the life from my soul, peace out.

    • Samvega@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      24 hours ago

      I can’t imagine how shit life would be having been part of an absolutely useless Jedi Republic which did nothing to stop fascism, and then having to live in a swamp to raise a hero who will actually end up not really being very good at it, long-term.

      Poor Yoda had a shit life, put-upon and thankless.

  • pyre@lemmy.world
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    4 hours ago

    that’s funny, but trying to answer a kid’s questions is both humbling and educational. they ask about things you take for granted, and even as an inquisitive person you might accept some things “just are” without thinking about them until a kid asks you what that’s all about.

    sometimes you know the answer and it’s satisfying.

    sometimes you don’t and thanks to technology now you can research it together in a way maybe you couldn’t when you were a kid and once wondered about it but never learned and maybe you forgot to ask again later.

    sometimes you think you know but once you try to explain it you realize that there’s lots of holes in your understanding.

    sometimes they just tell you something you didn’t know because they watch educational kids shows and no one told you that sloths are pretty impressive swimmers.

    there’s a monologue by a character called Eve in the Love Death and Robots episode Pop Squad that lives rent free in my head. if you’re not gonna watch it:

    !Ive been alive for 218 years. I’ve seen… too much. But she makes everything new. I love seeing things through her little eyes. They’re so bright. They’re so full of life. Not Dead. Like Yours.!<