A district judge in Wisconsin has sided with an 11-year-old trans girl over her use of the girls’ toilets and temporarily blocked school officials from preventing her access.

    • funkless@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      my parents angrily forbid me to do drugs or have sex and begged me not to drink to excess. Guess which activities I regularly engaged in.

      I was threatened, beaten up, choked out and tortured in school for being “gay” (actually bi), and yet my (romantic) attraction to any and all genders even preceeded my understanding of any sexuality.

      not my parents, not my fellow students, not exes, not internet strangers, not religion and not any form of media has managed to change my sexuality.

      • escaped_cruzader@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        my parents angrily forbid me to do drugs or have sex and begged me not to drink to excess. Guess which activities I regularly engaged in

        I too was vehemently forbidden, but I managed to understand how bad drugs and excessive drinking are and felt no need to rebel by “cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s face”

        Two people can go through the same environment and have completely different outcomes

        • Zorque@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          Sometimes people don’t do it to rebel, they just do it to enjoy themselves. Sometimes it’s self-destructive, sometimes not.

          As you say, different people do things in different ways.

          • havokdj@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Exactly this. Letting anything take over your life will cause harm.

            Harm reduction is a thing y’know, anything can be enjoyed with the right precautions.

            • voidMainVoid@lemmy.world
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              All of the (illegal) drugs I ever used made my life better in some way. Whenever somebody tells me that they’ve never used drugs, I just feel sorry for them, because they’ve missed out on some great experiences. Of course, there are a few people with unusual brains who should avoid anything psychoactive, but I think the vast majority of people would benefit from it.

              • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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                1 year ago

                Autsist here with trauma, I am a prime example of someone who probably shouldnt do drugs. Alcohols have weird effects let alone anything else. Though all my friends are convinced ill eventually do peyote for some reason.

                • voidMainVoid@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  I’m not saying you should or you shouldn’t, but…There have been studies that show that psilocybin mushrooms are effective in treating some forms of trauma, such as PTSD.

                  • havokdj@lemmy.world
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                    1 year ago

                    I hope psilocybin and MDMA treatment for PTSD one day become available because it would help so many people.

                    Such a high success rate too, even if it stays controlled atleast let the people have that.

              • Ghostc1212@sopuli.xyz
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                1 year ago

                Every illegal drug, and many legal ones, I’ve seen used have made the users’ lives horrible as a result, and sometimes they’ve made my life horrible despite me not using them. How about instead of doing drugs you find a real solution to life’s problems?

                • havokdj@lemmy.world
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                  Because you shouldn’t use drugs as a solution to your problems? You don’t play games or watch TV to solve life’s problems. There are some substances that I can agree with that for sure nobody should ever be doing, but other stuff is fine in moderation if proper harm reduction is implemented.

                • Ookami38@sh.itjust.works
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                  1 year ago

                  What’s to say that they’re not finding solutions? You can enjoy altered brain states without necessarily running from things. And even if you are running from something, even the most stoic person needs a numbing agent, a coping mechanism, sometimes and it’s a bit critical to judge one’s choice, as long as it’s not hurting someone else.

                • voidMainVoid@lemmy.world
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                  1 year ago

                  Drugs are only a tool. Drugs aren’t going to solve your problems in the same way that a hammer isn’t going to build a house. It can help, though. And sometimes you smash your thumb or drop the hammer on your foot.

            • Raven FellBlade@sh.itjust.works
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              1 year ago

              And, to further your point, anything can be harmful if taken to excess, no matter how seemingly harmless, or even necessary. An excess of water consumption can be deadly. Somewhere along the way, certain substances were just chosen as immoral because humans seem to feel a deep seated need to both judge others, and control others.

          • Ghostc1212@sopuli.xyz
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            They are addictive, damaging to the body and mind, destroy your life, and are used as unhealthy coping mechanisms.

    • Anaphylactic_Gock@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      What planet do you live on? Do you even know any trans people?

      I know a LOT of trans people, and none of their parents were particularly happy about their choice to transition. At best they were begrudgingly supportive.

      Nothing is pushing us to transition. Quite the opposite, infact.

      • Tb0n3@sh.itjust.works
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        There are infact people who groom kids into trans ideologies. Primarily teachers. I’m not saying it’s common but it isn’t a lie. Additionally at such a young age kids are absolutely still finding themselves and transtrenders are a thing due to the extra attention you get these days.

        • voidMainVoid@lemmy.world
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          How is educating children “grooming”? Do you say that they are being “groomed” into mathematical ideology by math teachers?

          Do you think that children shouldn’t be taught about trans people?

          • _g_be@lemmy.world
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            Conservatives (given how anti-intellectual they’ve become) would probably suggest that non-religious education is grooming.

          • ClarissaXDarjeeling@lemmy.world
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            I think it’s very difficult, in practice, to “teach” young children about gender identity without falling back on stereotypes and gender conformity.

            Since an 8-year-old girl doesn’t have overtly feminine characteristics like breasts or wide hips to feel physically uncomfortable with, how do you explain what it means to “feel like a boy”? The examples I’ve seen in elementary schools revert to showing a boy in a dress as “feeling like a girl”…when really, preferences for toys or clothing shouldn’t determine your gender or cis/trans-ness. (And even at older ages, being uncomfortable with newly-sprouted breasts or hating periods doesn’t make you a trans boy, of course.)

            I also think there is danger in quizzing children about this at a very young age and then taking them literally. Some of my coworkers have “transitioned” their toddlers and pre-schoolers … but these kids are still young enough to identify as cats and dogs and fairies, depending on the day. In this case, the adults aren’t intentionally grooming. But it’s likely that they’re asking leading questions and misinterpreting childhood play through their own lens of having an established gender identity.

            IMO, we’d all benefit from taking gender a bit less seriously.

            • voidMainVoid@lemmy.world
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              I also think there is danger in quizzing children about this at a very young age and then taking them literally.

              What’s the danger? If a kid decides that they’re a different gender, and then changes their mind back later, what harm has been done?

              I think it’s healthy for kids to experiment when they’re still figuring out their identity. The harm comes when adults stigmatize this stuff so that a kid thinks that they’re bad or wrong for being different.

              • ClarissaXDarjeeling@lemmy.world
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                I agree that it’s healthy to experiment. At four years old, I was a “boy” whenever I played Peter Pan. And as a teen, I happened to go through a rather butch phase when I could easily be confused for a boy. I’m thankful that my parents weren’t at all hung up on gender conformity, and neither was the community.

                But if parents make a big deal out of changing a kid’s name and pronouns and clothing, and swapping all the gender-stereotypical toys of one gender for another, and joining pride groups and making it a central part of the family’s identity … I think that creates a LOT of pressure for that child to continue in a trans identity (even though it’s pretty unlikely their toddler was actually trans to begin with).

                Why not dress however you like, play with whatever toys you like, but hold off on the assumption that gender non-conformity = transgender child? Or hold off on trying to “teach” these concepts to a little person who’s perfectly content just eating dirt and playing tag?

                My nephew right now is two and a half and pretty oblivious of gender. He shows no objection with being referred to with male pronouns, and yet his daycare teachers refuse to use he/him pronouns until he “comes out as cis” (in the meantime, all children are “they”). The parents in this community also fly flags and post messages like “trans children are sacred” and “bless the queer kids” constantly. It might sound lovely, and it’s meant to be inclusive … but children are quick to pick up on favoritism and which kids are considered special. In addition to that general sentiment, if parents keep asking, “Are you a boy or a girl? It’s ok if you feel like a girl, sweetie” … then eventually kids will parrot back whatever terms they hear, or whatever they think will earn a positive response. (Case in point: if you ask my nephew in an enthusiastic voice, he may confirm his identity as “cat” and “dog” and “cement mixer”.)

                In short: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Don’t create complexity where there wasn’t any before.

                My guess is that in the vast majority of cases, adults who officially “transition” their very young children are simply projecting their own desire for ally-ship. And my main gripe remains: if teachers and counselors continue to conflate gender non-conformity with transgenderism, then clearly they aren’t qualified to “teach” what it is in the first place. Let boys in dresses and girls with short hair be just that, without probing for more.

        • RedSeries@lemmy.world
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          Weird, cause I grew up with authority figures slamming back the f-slur, disparaging gays, and promoting straight movies, books, and media. Somehow I still turned out trans and pan. Weird. Weeeird. You’d think I’d have “learned” to be straight and cis with all of the grooming I got…

        • MaximumOverflow@lemmy.ca
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          The same was said about gay people years ago and guess what? It wasn’t true, because of course it wasn’t. Informing kinds and teens of the existence of other sexualities won’t convince them to adopt them.

          The increase in transgender youth can be mainly attributed at the increased acceptance and knowledge of the issue among the younger generations. Simple as that.

          VERY few people would ever do it for attention, since the attention you get is extremely often negative. Most transgender people are terrified of telling others they’re trans because of the reaction they’d get. The popularity argument is simply unrealistic.

        • webadict@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Everything you said is wrong, but let’s start with an easy question to identify your bias.

          What percent of the population do you think is trans and what percent do you think identifies as trans incorrectly?

        • majere@lemmy.world
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          I remember when I was hanging out with some of the gays (I keep them as friends to keep up appearances). Before, I was always the alpha. I could swing by any bar and leave with the hottest lib in my F150. By the end of the night she’d be screaming for her daddy and fully supportive of Trump. I loved converting libs to MAGA-wearing breeders.

          But then I hung around the gays, and something inside of me just fundamentally flipped: I love penis inexplicably and wearing the latest Hillary 2024 fair-trade organic cotton shirts I got for volunteering. I’ve never seen such a marvelous transformation!

        • DM_ME_SQUIRRELS@lemmy.world
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          Yeah, good luck with that. I work at a school where me and my colleagues have put a great deal of effort in educating the kids we teach (grades 1-4) about what LGBTQ+ means (we’re actually certified by a LGBTQ+ organization). Most of the kids could tell you what it means to be transgender, some of the ways in which LGBTQ+ people are being discriminated against and in which countries you could go to prison for being gay. Most of them also agree that people should be able to identify as whatever gender they want and that everyone else should respect that.

          Despite of this, not a single kid has ever shown any desire to identify as any other gender than their biological one except for the kids who already identified as trans; the older one clearly saying they’re trans and the younger one repeatedly saying things like “Why does it matter if I feel like a boy or a girl” and that they’re fine with any pronouns when other kids have asked them what gender they are. We have some of immigrant kids who have trouble with pronouns and often the kids get angry with them for using the wrong pronouns (“I’m a BOY, not a girl!”) and, despite of our best efforts, you can often hear them saying things like “We boys are so much better than girls”. Good fucking luck convincing an 8 year old that they should identify as any other gender than the one they identify with.

          • Tb0n3@sh.itjust.works
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            There’s a difference between telling a kid trans people exist and telling them those feeling of being uncomfortable in their body is being trans and not just normal puberty.

    • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      Who was making the decisions when I was a teenager that didn’t know transgender men existed, but I was still making plans to get a mastectomy and hysterectomy due to dysphoria when I was an adult?

      Essentially from the time I grew breasts and started having periods I was determined to do it, even though I didn’t have the words to explain why I wanted it and everyone I told reacted with bafflement. My parents and community were southern baptist, there aren’t many less trans supportive environments in the US. Surely if trans kids are all groomed into it I shouldn’t have been able to come up with this on my own, right?

    • Zorque@kbin.social
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      There’s another saying: if you spout transphobic bullshit, you may be a redneck.

      (With apologies to redneck allies)

    • Cabrio@lemmy.world
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      Conservatives are like vegan cats, fed the wrong shit so it’s all they can regurgitate.

    • Cheers@sh.itjust.works
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      Are the meta users already bleeding into the fediverse? Go back to meta and enjoy your anti human echo chamber.

    • gabbbbby@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      my parents literally did not let me transition despite me begging them to. you’re wrong lol.

      also (full offence) only someone who’s brain dead could possibly see a connection between those two things

    • minnow@lemmy.world
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      Read the WPATH Standards of Care. Decisions are made by the child, with the support and approval of the parents and a team of medical and mental health professionals.

    • Ghostc1212@sopuli.xyz
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      Trans toddlers, ya, but 11 years old is puberty age, that’s old enough to experiment with it

      • Tb0n3@sh.itjust.works
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        You are absolutely correct That’s what I was thinking of. Regardless, as long as they don’t give puberty blockers to children, it should be fine. But there are certainly consequences to children merely experimenting and being told that’s exactly the way they are.

    • Tb0n3@sh.itjust.works
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      Why the fuck did a mod remove my post? Are you guys so delicate you can’t take the tiniest bit of disagreement?