How does it work for you?
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I found a YouTube channel that discusses philosophy called Einzelgänger about a year ago and it helped change my whole perspective on life. I get stressed a lot less frequently now, but when am stressed listening to his videos calms me down better than anything else ever has. I’ve bought and read many of the books he talks about and look forward to buying new ones. My favorite authors so far are Arthur Schopenhauer and Albert Camus. I also recommend Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, the Tao-te Ching by Lao Tzu, and anything from Seneca or Epictetus.
…you guys destress?
I sand the surface with 220 grit then apply two coats of acrylic enamel. While the paint is still wet, pock the surface in random locations with a blunted nail and score here and there with a dull screwdriver. When dry, I coat with a thinned down acrylic matte black then wipe with damp rag to smear into cracks and expose the color. Finish with a good polyurethane.
I remember that despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage. I think of it as the pumpkins’ version of the serenity prayer.
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the behavioral pathway will flip and the calming trigger will start causing anxiety instead because that’s when you’re doing it most
You might have no idea, but since you bring it up I might as well ask - any way of reversing this once it’s happened? Recently my stress levels have been so heightened that that switch has flipped on some of the things (and people) that gave me most comfort and instead now they just cause me rage, and I’m struggling to find a way back (am autistic too which I understand can make this even harder)…
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Ok, I’ve had a proper read through now, I’ll admit there is a lot to process, but this a lot of sense (and some bits I was already doing without even realising, like trying to get space away from triggers).
I think my situation is tricky because the main person triggering me is my nibling, whose family I live with (I’ve been here since they were born and I’m often left to care for them during the day. Cuddling and playing and just spending hours on the couch watching cartoons with them used to be my escape, but for the past couple of months external stress has gotten worse, and after they “pushed me” on a really bad day and that brain switch has flipped, every time they want to be around me I feel like they’re “pushing me” and fight/flight which is the constant state of my autistic brain anyway, ramps up even more), so I can’t get away from them for any decent length of time, and they’re just a kid and it’s difficult to explain my growing boundaries (every time one gets crossed, by “hostile” or “friendly”, rationally I can tell the difference but irrationally they both have the same impact - a stricter boundary can’t help but pop up in its place, in self defence) and why I need them to stay away from me (or, if they keep “pushing”, why I’m suddenly horrible to them even though they don’t deserve it).
I don’t want to push them away, I rationally know they mean no harm and just want to give and be given love, but I also just need my boundaries respected.
The one thing I have avoided doing is reminiscing about good times because it makes me too upset that I’ve gone from that to this and I spiral in to a really dark place, but I do see how it might help, so I’m going to try my best to try it. I think some of the other advice is a little tricky for someone with sensory processing difficulties though).
Anyway, I won’t ramble any longer, thank you again, I’ve not actually talked about this to anyone else, and I feel like this exchange is a good first step to at least try and fix things.
I do wish I could find a descent therapist though… -_-
Wow, I wasn’t really expecting a reply, never mind something this through!
It’s past 2am here, so my brain can’t take it all in right now, so I’ll give it a proper read tomorrow when I can better process it and reply accordingly, but I just wanted to say I really appreciate your effort, thank you!
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Doomscrolling.
Very badly.
Varies on where I’m at. One thing I can do no matter where I happen to be is allow my body to lose its tension. This is a learned skill. Focus your mind on preferably a major muscle to start, and just will it to begin relaxing. I like imagining I’m becoming more liquid and that the stress I’m holding is draining away. It’s a lighter, though similar, feeling you get when your body is just exhausted and you lay down.
This is a part of a series of coping mechanisms I’ll choose from when my anxiety begins to peak.
Wanking.
You probably never heard of it, but I shitpost on this obscure technology forum called Lemonworld or something on things I would never admit to in public.
It’s great, I’m something of a celebrity over there.
It depends.
If I am anxious or upset, vigorous exercise works best. Exhausting my body settles my mind.
If I am burned out from work but can’t relax, a drink on the porch with my husband helps to unwind.
If I cannot sleep, yin yoga is the best. Slow cold yoga with lots of forward folding.
weed. Sopranos, Law & Order, American Dad, whatever I’m in the mood for.
Fuck if I know. Closest I can think of is being alone.
Quiet walks
weed, cigarettes, caffeine. lots of it 😅
Sharpening/polishing knives and tools. No music or videos, just the sharpening. Water stone and warm water too.
It’s cathartic to do a good job sharpening and spending the time to get a good result. Especially when you get to the buttery smooth finishing stones. They’re quiet but have, quiet, subtle sounds that are relaxing to listen to.
