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I used to be like that, and the solution is to just power through and talk even though it’s hard. Taking is a skill and needs to be practiced like any other skill. Ideally you develop it as a kid when you have no self awareness and it’s expected for you to say weird awkward stupid shit all the time.
I agree with you that talking is a skill that can be developed. I think it’s okay to encounter awkward situations because it’s gonna happen and it happens to everyone. Ideally, you learn how to handle or react to those situations eventually, imo. It should also be okay to be quiet too given the appropriate time. Why should there be a need for someone to talk all the time.
Another benefit of listening more is that you become less self conscious as you realize other people are really weird and awkward too. Also, it takes two people to create an awkward silence, when you pay more attention to the conversation and less to yourself you’ll realize that you’re both creating the awkward silence, not just you.
It’s better to be quiet and to have people assume you’re autistic than to open your mouth and remove the doubt.
At least if you’re the quiet one you could also be perceived as mysterious
My thought process was always, 'It’s better to not say anything at all than to accidentally say the wrong thing."
I’ve found with it’s good to embrace the awkwardness, be molded by it.
As an early professional I had a boss that I eventually came to describe as “confidently awkward.” He was the awkwardest mother fucker ever but he really didn’t mind it and used it to put the people around him at ease. He had a good sense of humour and was comfortable with himself professionally. He was an absolute inspiration to young, terrified, awkward me.
Be awkward by talking has two lightning bolts. I will remain silent.
Option 3: Blaze a new trail right down the middle, talking enough that people know you’re weird, but not enough that people start to like you.
I was told that i talked too little and that i talked too much by the same person at different times
Then you might be overwhelming the conversation and not letting people get a word in when you do talk.
I think it’s helpful to focus on listening more and putting your attention on others instead of thinking “am I not talking enough? What should I say? Ok I’m going to say this”. That leads to you doing a monologue instead of engaging in the conversation. If you focus more on listening and not worrying about your part in the conversation then you’ll find things to comment on more naturally.
The right-hand route can be fun and educational with some prep work. Who doesn’t wanna know about the seven speech levels that the Korean language uses to express respect and familiarity between speaker and audience?
I may not be autistic but I certainly feel this one.
I choose the middle one
Say the wrong thing and make things super awkward?
I think just smiling (unless something tragic happened) helps a lot.
Am I doing this right?
I’ve been doing quiet with 1 on 1 talks. I try to put 1 or 2 sentences in a group convo and after that I feel happy and just listen and take in the whatever.
Still drains though lol
