Pick An Apple - Apple Rankings by The Appleist Brian Frange
applerankings.com
The official rankings of munching apples by comedian and Appleist Brian Frange. Ranked in order and evaluated on a 100 point scale.

An excerpt from Red Delicious:

Oh how the mighty have fallen! Believe it or not, the coffee grinds in a leather glove known as “The Red Delicious Apple” was once a robust firebrand credited with reinventing the apple from mere cider-fruit into a full-fledged lunch-worthy sidepiece. It even won the Stark Brothers apple contest in 1894. Likely your great-grandma’s favorite apple, this once flavorful Prometheus has been mass-produced into desolation.

Nowadays, you can find this thick-skinned, flavorless, mealy imposter unwashed in a dirty wicker basket on the floor of a convenience store. What a sad state of affairs. It’s time to hang them up old man, your time has passed.

  • nhgeek@beehaw.org
    4·
    1 year ago

    Old Reddit quality post (I mean peak Reddit not the dystopia its quickly becoming). Awesome site! Very funny and useful. Thanks for posting.

  • anxietysloth@beehaw.org
    3·
    1 year ago

    My favorite apple is opal so that’s the first one I looked up when I came across this website a few weeks ago. I didn’t know what to expect but definitely not what I found. 10/10 website

  • Lenguador@kbin.social
    2·
    1 year ago

    Clearly they’re just ragging on every apple because they didn’t rank Fuji as the best. What’s the point of a list if they’re just going to blatantly lie?

  • Gork@beehaw.org
    1·
    1 year ago

    Tried the Cosmic Crisp a few years ago but I think it lives up to its hype. I agree through, the Red Delicious apple is a mealy textured mess of a fruit.