Move over bitches, I am the getaway driver here. You think I jest? Tell me, are you afraid of doing 120 into oncoming traffic? Have you ever raced a cop up an on-ramp like it’s a drag strip? How many flashing lights have you lost by completely disregarding your passengers cries of panic and just saying “I’ve got this, hold the fuck on” swerving across 6 lanes at [redacted], whipping out on a surface street, and ducking into a fast-food restaurant drive-thru, smooth as fuck? Pfft, I bet you’ve never even drawn up plans for a minigun installed on the top of a prius - because if you don’t lose them in the first couple minutes, it’s not speed you need, it’s endurance. And a fucking minigun, duh.

Told you, I’m the getaway driver for this job. 😎