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So much self-monitoring is exhausting. Worse because I think I genuinely go overboard if I don’t monitor.
I’m lucky that I’ve made friends where we literally send essays to each other and don’t even have any expectations of a time limit for answering. I probably achieved this by “being annoying” and the friends (who also happen to be autistic for the most part), self-selected.
This is the way! Stopping the fight to fit in, but changing the social circle until it fits you 😊
Or do like I’ve done. No social circle at all.
My customers and coworkers and our brief 3 minute interactions are all the social life I can handle.
Don’t do that if it makes you sad to be lonely though. I am at my happiest alone or at home with my family.
Well, true. But in the end, we’re a social species after all. There might be a huge range of level of desire to, but it’s probably always above an absolute zero. If the social circle is an amount of persons to the count of 1, it still is a cirlcle. Called a point. But that soooooooooooooooooooooooo much depends on the kind of people, so it’s probably converging to zero.
Oh yeah. I remember being 18 and having literally no one, no way of having anyone, and wanting to die.
My best friend (and only close friend) died in a car accident when I was 16.
I nearly went insane. I remember after going 8 months talking to no one (when the locals thought they had hung around and comforted me enough) bawling my eyes out and begging the universe to let me meet at least one person I related to enough to have a 10 minute connection.
When I get overwhelmed with my little family and think, “I’d kill to be alone.” I think back to that time and try to be grateful for what I have.
My fiancé has me so mad I can’t see straight right now and I’m trying hard to remember that I’m so thankful for her and the kids. :p
It’s just a moment. She’ll at least like me tomorrow haha. Even if nothing I do is enough tonight.
It’s a bit annoying seeing people in nearly dead Lemmy communities who are like “oohh, sorry for flooding the community”…
Anyway, I really feel this meme. Been going through tough things recently and it’s been hard figuring out how much I should burden my online friends with it…
If they’re friends, it’s not burdening. Light acquaintances get burdening. They’re not important. Better to have no “friends” at all than investing time in people whom you’re not important enough to. IMHO.
As someone with many online friends of various communication styles I can confidently say there are only really two things that ever got annoying (outside of technical glitches that weren’t the fault of anyone involved in the conversation).
One is when someone clearly wants to talk with me but answers anything I try as a topic with some closed response that doesn’t allow further elaboration or follow-up questions so I have to constantly think of something new to talk about.
The other is when someone is clearly too busy to talk but doesn’t just say something like “lets talk later” or “sorry, I am doing x, my responses might be slow” but instead answers painfully slowly without any explanation on why. Answering hours later is fine, answering with about 5-15 minute delays every single time without explanation is what I would consider painfully slowly; not short enough to focus on the conversation, not long enough to focus on something else. And I stress the “without explanation” part since an actual explanation like “I am playing x” or “My family is distracting me, semi-afk” is fine and takes away the annoyance factor for me.
Never have I been annoyed at a friend sharing personal issues or just a lot of information on a topic they are passionate about. At worst I might have to say that I have limited time available right then and might respond later when work or similar RL issues require me to focus on something else.
Life is too short to be constantly worrying over imaginary boundaries others have not yet expressed. Give yourself the right to shine. Perhaps there won’t be a lot of people who likes you, but you won’t find the ones you can actually connect with otherwise.
I’m in a clan chat for an RPG on discord. Probably everyone there is on the spectrum but one clan member in particular stands out because he likes to send gifs tangentially related to the conversation. Like, for every five messages in the chat there might be two gifs from him, it’s quite a few.
He’s still well liked in the chat, to the extent that when another person got into a fight with him causing him to leave, the other person was kicked and we brought him back with reassurances that the other person was just an asshole (they were).
Anyway, tl;dr 90% of being liked is being around. Group chats are for chatting.
Maybe it’s the people who are judgmental and intolerant of how others communicate (or don’t) who are wrong?
Narrator: He was annoying in chat with his first response.
Oh goody, A friend of mine Just expressed interest in something I like! Maybe I’ll share a bit of information with them…
(Leaves chat)
(No one DMs you to ask why)
art source : https://www.artstation.com/artwork/aKm0
oof
