Part of your problem is that half the folks posting to those subs have no idea what “moe” means either. Folks, it’s not supposed to be a catch-all term for sexy anime women!

Everyone has their own definition of moe, and I’m far from an expert because it’s not my thing, but my understanding (based on how the word was used in the US and in Japan during the 2010s anyway) is this: It’s kinda like the protecc meme… Something that is moe is usually cute, small, maybe a bit defenseless or derpy. It’s something that causes a feeling of “I love and want to protect this cute little thing”… Like how you might feel about a puppy, especially if the puppy is doing something cute and derpy like a heckin’ protecc (in normal people speak: something that’s adorable because it’s not especially exceptional but it feels exceptional when the cute little thing does it, like a puppy that thinks he’s protecting his mama when he barks at a butterfly and then looks pleased with himself when it flutters away, which causes you the viewer to say “d’aw aren’t you just the best little guard dog, yes you are!”). Except puppies are not usually considered moe as moe has a sexual connotation because it’s an otaku thing so of course it does. In other words it’s a term with a pretty strong loli vibe (up until very recently I had never seen it used in reference to anything but girls or maybe women with girlish traits, or girl-like creatures, like monster-musume). Moe got especially big around the time K-On came out, and for a while that series was heralded as the ultimate moe anime: cute girls doing cute things. It’s kinda like the daughter version of “waifu.” And some people do use the term in a more innocent, non-sexual way, but then there’s the hentai doujinshi and body pillow crowd that taint the entire concept (as with all things anime).

Therefore it’s really fucking confusing to see these “moe” communities filled with adult-presenting anime characters sporting G-cups and “fuck me” eyes. Maybe some moe communities use the term correctly, again it’s not my thing so I don’t go searching for it, but the ones I’ve stumbled across in the deep recesses of all sure don’t seem to fit the bill. Am I just old and out of touch with how the kids use their Japanese-derived slang nowadays? Did the normies start altering the use of otaku terms after anime became mainstream? Eh, maybe. But for at least a solid decade moe had a specific, albeit poorly defined, meaning.

Edit: I generally agree with loppy’s comment, in that what they describe is a technically more correct and authentic way to use the term “moe.” However it’s a situation akin to how most people use “decimate” to mean “obliterate,” even though it technically means “to reduce by 1/10th.” IMO what I describe is how most/nearly all (Western) otaku and weebs would describe/use moe, while loppy’s over in the corner going “actually…” In other words, what I’ve described is the “normie otaku” definition, and loppy’s is the “otaku of otaku” definition. So I guess that means that I’d still consider my answer “correct” because it’s the more common definition, even though it’s technically wrong.