I guess this is me now.
I fall poopy b-hole first onto the edge of my bathtub.
A bunch of people in here without something solid two feet to the left of them seem to be assuming that there is a perfect them-shaped vaccuum that they will be teleported into. That’s not the case. There is air there, and you’ll be just as dead as the guy sitting next to the family refrigerator.
Unless you are an astronaut currently in space, the only correct answer is “dying of multiple simultaneous embolisms, with or without widespread traumatic amputations, and ‘gross dismemberment’ (SFW, only text) from instantaneous pressure changes inside the body.”
Presumably, teleportation is a bidirectional process, and everything that was occupying the space you now take gets teleported to your previous position.
Solution: telefrag everything.
My dog and I are now one. We have become, dogperson. All the bipedability of a person, with the infinite compassion of a dog. We are unstoppable.
Ed… Ward…
actually just turns into werewolf, hungry for flesh
i am telefragged as my head is now inside of a table
IIRC the way telefragging works in Quake is that the thing occupying the destination gets telefragged. I think that you’d be okay and the table would be seriously messed up.
I am outside in nothing but my underwear. It is cold and raining outside. The doors and windows are locked and i don’t remember the garage code. No one is home to let me in for another hour or so. D:
Dead I guess, bricked inside wall
I’m inside a wall now
I am now laying on my sister’s bed instead of my own.
If this happened 10 minutes ago, I would be outside of my car on the highway and that would be bad.
And that is why you don’t read lemmy while driving!
that works for this exercise but what if the prompt was “you’ve been teleported 2 feet to the left 10 minutes ago. How did this affect you?”
I would call bs. I know for a fact that I was not teleported 2 feet to the left 10 minites ago. I ain’t demented yet, darnit.
You’re old enough to own a car, but your bed is within two feet of your sister’s? Please help me understand.
We live together in a very small apartment.
I am now sitting on the exact same bench in the exact same position except two feet to the left
Same, except it’s a sofa and I’d have the TV remote up my ass.
Same, except on a couch
Well I am pretty sure that puts me in the concrete wall at work. I probably won’t know, but my coworkers are going to need therapy for life.
My ass hits the asphalt at 120km/h, not entirely sure I will still be capable of pooping from there after that.
I’m midway through the wall and no longer on the toilet.
I’m in a closet with way too many clothes and also no longer on the toilet
I’m falling down my apartment building’s stairwell. Ow.
in the next apartment’s bedroom, which belongs to a 70 year old lady who insisted that I need to eat more fruits (she always has some fruits ready to give out every time she sees me).
