Today I learned that my ex has been stalking me online.

It’s not worth going into any details beyond that she dug out some old post of mine on the fediverse. She’s not someone I would expect to come here, but she went looking anyway and used it as an excuse to try and hurt me yet again.

I’m terrified that I’m going to have to file for an intervention order, I honestly thought she would be the one person who would respect being blocked but she made the effort to contact me regardless. It terrifies my that I don’t know this person anymore, I have no idea what she’s capable of and I have no idea where I’m safe anymore.

The one silver lining has been me finally learning to trust my friends, I’ve had so much support in such a short time that I feel truely blessed.

I’d just managed to put the last of my anxiety to rest a few short weeks ago, and now this. I know I’ll get better again, but a setback like this has me scared that I’m going backwards again.

  • Squirrelsdrivemenuts@lemmy.worldEnglish
    15·
    1 year ago

    I’m so sorry this is happening to you! When my thoughts are in a downward spiral grounding exercises work amazing, like playing catch against a wall, listing 5 things I can see, four things I can touch etc. Or trying to think of a plant/famous person/animal for every letter of the alphabet. This helps get me through the short-term when the long-term feels overwhelming.

    • MüThyme@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      9·
      1 year ago

      Oh man, thanks so much.

      I completely forgot about all of my usual strategies like this, I really needed the reminder.

      • Rose Thorne(She/Her)@lemm.eeEnglish
        3·
        1 year ago

        I know this isn’t always possible, but if you can, type out a list and keep it somewhere you’ll see it/be able to quickly access it. It’s a trick my counselor told me, and it’s been a huge help. Even just going through the motion of getting it can help kick your brain out of the cycle.

  • Pattywack@lemmy.worldEnglish
    4·
    1 year ago

    You have gotten through the dark before & you will again. Life will continue to jab at your anxiety. Work on your tools while you’re in a good place so they’re sharp & ready when you need them. You are fighting the good fight & you can make it

  • MüThyme@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
    3·
    1 year ago

    Thanks everyone for the kind words and advice. I’m doing alright now, and with the help of some friends I’ve taken steps to keep myself safe.

    It’s going to be a bit harder for a little bit, but I’m confident I can get through this!