I have kids that I raise, they are great kids, I love them to death but if someone thinks kids aren’t a burden (of any sort) than they’re lying.
Who tf thinks they aren’t a burden, how is this an unpopular opinion?
Trust me, there are people who think it’s a sin to use the word “burden” when speaking of kids. They are insane IMO
Sounds like they have the unpopular opinion
There’s so much stigma around this sort of thing. It’s getting better, but the mindset that children are a gift and parents should be constantly grateful for that gift is still very prevalent.
The reality is that whilst children are absolutely incredible, life affirming and all that good stuff…an awful lot of being a parent is frankly, horrible.
People who believes in sin are insane. Pay them no mind
Lol true
In the history of the world, probably only baby boomers and maybe some of X thought this. Any time else in history, kids are there only due to the desire to fuck. Hell, the Romans drove a plant extinct with their need for birth control.
I imagine any time in history where a family needed loads of kids for labor probably was like “they aren’t a burden when they are free labor” lol
“Babees are such miracles!”
Many people think it, few people say it out lout.
Today on wildly popular opinion
https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/happiness-spigot
Best summary to this topic I’ve ever seen.
I kinda wish it would expand on the fact that for some people, the constant care and all that is not for them, and doesn’t make it “a good deal” Other than that it’s a great summary, coming from someone that doesn’t want any.
Literally standing in my kitchen right now reading this at 645am, awake since 4 because my sick 2 year old has been crying and screaming non stop, my wife in bed upstairs with our 2 day old new born, and I’m covered in peanut butter trying to make a nutritious lunch for my 5 year old for school. I have to wake her up soon to get her started. Make eggs for breakfast.
Her booster seat isn’t fitting in the middle seat between my sons car seat and infant newborn car seat. So I have to fix that before we leave. My son is most likely drawing on the walls in the entertainment room.
And before 9 I need to feed the chickens and relieve my wife from her sleepless night with a newborn.
Burden is an understatement. Having a sore back is a burden. Having kids is a dynamic lifestyle change. And while sometimes I imagine not having kids and how amazing it would be to be free from that lifestyle, it always comes to the same conclusion: I wouldn’t exchange my family life for anything. My children are me and I wouldn’t remove them as much as I wouldn’t remove my back because it was sore.
First of all, keep up the good work, it sounds like you’re an awesome dad and husband my man. I never wanted kids but I now have 6, some of them put me through some shit but I wouldn’t trade any of it for a child-free life.
How do you end up with 6 kids if you never wanted any?
A crazy amount of things, dem ass and titties, a partner you think you’d be together with forever, a partner that didn’t believe in abortions, having one kid and thinking it wasn’t so bad, lying to myself that it’d be no more than 2, did I mention dem ass and titties? Those can be so persuasive when the little guy is doing the thinking.
Dem ass and titties are not how she gets pregnant… I would blame education. (/s I know the feeling)
Someday I’ll know where babies come from.
Hah! Nice and easy to understand answer. Welp, you’ll have amazing family holidays when your kids have kids, and you’ll have no shortage of people who can help you when you get old. I only had one kid and sometimes I regret it. I always imagined I’d have a lot of little kids to mentor when I hit middle age, but there are none. It’s odd. I mean I enjoy the freedom, but there’s definitely a different type of cost.
There is just so much more to it but the reality is I did have a bunch of kids with the same woman and I didn’t want to be a shit parent like mine were so now I can’t see my life without them and it is worth it. As for what the future holds for them as adults and me as being an old man is still waiting to be seen but I wouldn’t turn away that life you described.
There are lots of people who are 40+ regretting not having kids and wanting their own now but it’s just getting tougher. There is always kids in need of good mentors so check out things like Big Brother, Big Sisters or maybe coaching if you’re into sports.
I have 6 kids but I still think about fostering kids since I can’t adopt (they don’t like single parents).
I actually have been thinking about fostering or adopting! It’s an enormous commitment though, so it has only been a vague thought so far. My wife and I were talking about having a kid in 2019 and then 2020 happened and we decided we don’t want to bring a new life into this world. But I wouldn’t be entirely opposed to helping an existing life have a better one.
If you have the means and the love do it.
I know far more people who have children who regret than those who don’t have kids and regret it.
Anyone who does NOT think kids are a burden either doesn’t have kids or doesn’t give a sh*t about raising them right. If you are an actually responsible adult and parent, and you intend to give your kids all the attention, care and love they demand and deserve, then it WILL be taxing. It WILL eat up your time and energy for years to come. You WILL have sleepless nights, and unexpected challenges. You WILL be exhausted, frustrated and defeated at times.
The difference is that good parents feel like that tradeoff is worth it. That your beloved family / children matter most, even tho they are a burden. This isn’t an “either/or” situation where struggling automatically means that you can’t be happy about the struggle. Children can be the light of your life AND the most annoying thing in the universe at the same time, and a good parent will still love them whatever happens.
Children ARE a burden but entitled parents are a bigger burden.
Entitled parent: “I raised you, you owe me!!!”
Child: “you made a decision to bring me in to the world, I had no say in this at all”
I live them to death
Is that a typo or the unpopular part?
Lol thanks
If I don’t put gas in my car it won’t move. Fueling my car is a burden, but generally I think it is worth it.
Yes, don’t forget to fuel your kids.
Praising cars on lemmy? It’s a bold move, Cotton.
I would argue that fuel and kids are not a burden as it is a net positive. Burden would imply for no gain.
Idk how unpopular this is. Everyone I’ve ever talked to said that children are a burden. Of course they are. It’s hard work to grow plant, lol, and these are whole people. The acronym DINK exists for a reason. That said, it’s a worthwhile burden. I love being a parent.
Who have you met that said raising kids isn’t a burden?
They exists, they are the people who wants kids and can’t have them, the people who think kids can do no wrong, and then there’s my ex-wife who actually is burden by our kids when she has them but doesn’t want to say they are a burden because it would make her look bad lol
I went to a Nerd Night where a positive psychologist shared about PERMA, a break down of the pillars of being happy: Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment.
Her take on kids (based on her research) was that P,E,R, and A definitely take a hit, but parents consistently had the highest happines when it came to Meaning in their life. Overall advice on the question of “Do kids make you more happy than no kids?” was “It really depends on the person.”
Sounds like an interesting Nerd Night.
All humans are a burden
Amen, fellow misanthropist.
The benefit of kids is that on average they become less of a burden over time. meanwhile adults, especially of certain generations klinging to the means of production, power and denying political change necessary to keep the earth livable, are just becoming more of a fucking burden for everyone else every god damn year and they also act all smug about it.
klinging
Apparently you think life is just donkey Kong country?
what?
Yup.
I’ve got two (5,1). I absolutely adore them both, but I’d be lying if I said that having kids hasn’t made my life significantly harder, my mental health significantly worse and my sense of self significantly weaker.
Solution: don’t have kids
Solution two: use protection
Burden is the first thing that’s pops in my head when I think of children
I don’t want children, but I wish I would know how to handle a child so I can help out family in case needed.
You might want to take a look at The Montessori Child. It’s a book aimed at parents to make early childhood the best it can be for the kids.
If the children are not some sort of extreme assholes or very young, you don’t need special skills to handle them. The difficult thing is being with them all the time, so helping sometimes is not that hard.
Just ask the family member that you want to help what you should do. If the kids are young they like to talk your ear off or play. Many a kid used me as a make shift tree to climb on lol
