• Triple_B@lemmy.zipEnglish
    35·
    1 year ago

    Your drinking is ruining our relationship, and your relationships with your grandkids.

    • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      20·
      1 year ago

      I have a good relationship with my dad now but that wasn’t always the case. It’s too long a story for this comment but I’ve confronted him a few times over the years about various things. On one such occasion, he said something to the effect of, “Why don’t my kids ever want anything to do with me?”

      I said, " I love you Dad, but you’re an angry dick about everything and you always have been. Would you want to spend time with your dad if he was like that?" His dad was exactly like that. He didn’t say anything but I knew I struck a nerve. He’s worked on himself a lot and is a much, much better grandpa than he was a father.

      I don’t know your situation and you can’t change your family members behavior. That’s on them. But sometimes it’s ok to let them know what their behavior is doing to everyone else around them. They may not understand that. And if they do and just don’t care, then they’ll have to deal with the consequences.

      • Triple_B@lemmy.zipEnglish
        7·
        1 year ago

        That’s great advice, thank you. I’ll have to relay it to my sister since she’s the one actually dealing with it since I moved out of state like 20 years ago and rarely go home. Maybe we’ll have to gang up on him/have an intervention. It’s just hard to catch his ass sober.

  • BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works
    351·
    1 year ago

    I can’t feel empathy and the only reason why I am sad when you are sad is because I’ve learned that faking it makes you happier.

    • Fleur__@lemmy.world
      294·
      1 year ago

      So you do something for no reason for the benefit of someone who is suffering while you are not suffering? How empathetic lmao

        • TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee
          23·
          1 year ago

          Trivial distinction. they recognize someone is hurting. who started this whole symp/emp divide? it literally never comes up in counseling school

          • Smokeydope@lemmy.worldEnglish
            4·
            1 year ago

            Who started this? Highschool level psych 101 classes. Its an easy distinction to teach kids about psychopathy/sociopathy but reality can be a little more nuanced. I also imagine that counseling is about treating emotionally damaged people with the idea they can improve mentally not instantly judging them ‘oh well youre an unfeeling psychopath monster and always will be because you didn’t have empathy for this person in this situation’

  • glimse@lemmy.world
    32·
    1 year ago

    I could tell them I get wasted every Friday and no one would bat an eye…but my mom would have a heart attack if she found out I’ve ever been in the same room with marijuana. I’m in my 30s. Some things are better left as secrets

  • SaberKazd@sopuli.xyz
    22·
    1 year ago

    I tried to kill myself. Twice. I would either have to deal with my old man’s shit or break my mom’s heart, neither of which I could tolerate.

    • __@fedia.io
      3·
      1 year ago

      I’m sorry you were in that position, and I hope you’re doing much better now?

    • JewGoblin@lemmy.world
      41·
      1 year ago

      I’m glad you’re still here, yes, you will break your parents heart.

      I’ve known too many young men that took their own life, and the aftermath is life changing for the entire family and friends, but mainly the family.

      I hope you’re doing well, and whoever you are, you’re in my thoughts

  • shandrakor@lemmy.world
    17·
    1 year ago

    One specific family member, hope that’s okay. But I could never tell my mom about when I was molested on a work trip with her ex-partners company. One of the families took in troubled boys and I woke up in the cabin with him in my bed. Hands in my clothes and drunk as hell. I beat him so bad. One of the other actual children of employees woke up and helped pull me off him and got him out of there. We never talked about it. I don’t know what he(the helper) knew at the time. What I do know is if I ever tell my mother this she will drive and she will one hundred percent kill the people who brought that monster into my life. And I love her too much to put her through that (both having to hear it, and the murder, and the subsequent jail time).

      • shandrakor@lemmy.world
        7·
        1 year ago

        It was, but I am actually doing really well now, generally. Stable and supportive partner. Love and joy on the daily!

        Have some health issues but I feel like who doesn’t these days? It does make having friends a struggle but I have a lot of… acquaintances and small relationships can be fulfilling, in their own way.

        Generally great relationships with my family, minus several humans who have been downgraded to biological associates.

        On the whole pretty excellent and like to think I’m doing as well for those around me as I can despite my limitations.

        Sorry, unsuspecting victims, for the wall of text, the word vomit needed out, I suppose.

  • Skybreaker@lemmy.world
    184·
    1 year ago

    I don’t want to be around you.

    I wouldn’t tell my loved one that because I DO want to be around her.