Don’t forget when you’re talking face-to-face, you start your response and 5 words in the other person starts talking again… good times, I tell you.
Bonus points for a “you never talk much” later on.
(I’m not autistic btw, it’s the others who are rude)OR, you do talk, but it’s at the same time as somebody else and their voice is louder, so nobody actually hears anything you just said.
OR you actually get the chance to talk without interrupting someone else, and then YOU get interrupted by someone who doesn’t care, so of course you instinctively shut up to not re-interrupt the other person.
The good thing to do there is just to keep talking, so if they want to interrupt you anyways they have to be the asshole and tell you to stop. Though of course you’d have to train yourself out of the previous habit, and oh shit oh fuck I’m rambling again
Welcome to the wonderful world of ADHD where you can either talk for hours on end or say nothing at all, and everything inbetween is agony <__<
you don’t gotta tell me, I already have it
Why must you attack me like this?
Dont try to immediately jump into what you want to say.
Bruh
Takes a fraction of a second to say, and is basically a turn signal letting everyone know you’re about to start talking.
There’s lots of words that work the same way, but “bruh” is ridiculously easy to blurt out and tell everyone you’re going to start talking.
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Well, then you’ll never get the chance to speak in a group.
Look, I just saw this post on c/all and wanted to give some advice. I don’t have autism, but I spent a couple years working with people who had special needs to help them develop scial skills. People that for the most part couldn’t hold down a job that paid minimal wage and stayed in highschool till their 20s. People that spent 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for years busting their asses trying to improve their social skills.
This worked wonders for them and it’s socially acceptable to do it in public.
If they can handle it, so can you.
But I was fully aware when making that comment that while it works for people that actually have autism and have difficulty knowing how to join a conversation…
I’d get a couple people telling me that it’s too much effort for them to try. Because lots of people on the Internet claim to have undiagnosed autism when they never put any effort into developing their social skills.
So I guess I should have prefaced it with:
If you actually want to work on speaking in a group setting, try this
Speaking of social skills.
It’s always so nice when someone comes into a group they don’t belong to and proceeds to make assumptions about a bunch people they’ve never met and everything they’re doing wrong and then spouts some shit like “have you tried just not being autistic?”
People just love that.
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meanwhile my voice gets ignored all the time no matter what, aside from the fact it’s very hard to hear for some reason
aside from the fact it’s very hard to hear for some reason
As Kevin Hart once said:
Say it with your chest
If you work on posture back straight, shoulders back (imagine holding a ball between your shouldblades). Thenit’ll open up your diaphragm and make your voice louder without feeling like your yelling.
It’ll also make you more physically noticable and will likely help with people giving you the space to speak.
I’ll keep that advice with me
It’s probably due to my age but that would be super weird to do with my peer group unless using it ironically. I’d sooner go with “well” or “so…”
Oh yeah, there’s lot of better and more specific words.
But “bruh” is easy to say and fits regardless of what comes next. You could be agreeing/disagreeing, showing disbelief or understanding. Angry or empathetic.
“Bruh” just always works. So if someone is having difficulty communicating that have something to say, they can say that while still not sure what they’re going to say.
It’s the most versatile interjection in modern English.
Dude.
I’ll try that at the next steering committee meeting.
IJBOL.
Or start talking at the same time as someone so the group notices, tell that person to go first, and then subconsciously the group will be waiting for you to say what you were going to say after. And if someone butts in before you talk next, stop them and say “let me just finish my thought first.” If they say no, or talk over you, they’ll look like the asshole, since you already let someone talk first and were “next in line” so to speak
I am not autistic but still I don’t understand how do I do that either. Although, on the other side If I get to know some other person well, and if we find common topic I can’t shut up, and after some time some people find me annoying (I think).
And then if you do you interrupt, people will say “they were talking, wait your turn”
Yep, I get this problem. Doesn’t help that I sometimes speak with the cadence of Darth Vader which makes it much easier for NTs to interrupt me thinking that I’ve stopped talking.
I find it useful to stop the cycle by saying something like “sorry, before I forget…”, and then add your opinion to the matter. It’s a timing game, you have to try and get your voice heard sometimes.
If you bump your comment with another person, you can give them the time and then speak your mind. Most people remember you were going to add something. The only inconvenience is when you forget what you were going to say but I don’t think people would mind if you are the first to talk sometimes
sorry
I don’t find it very useful to interject with “sorry” unless you actually have something to apologize for. Although sometimes if I interrupt someone and feel like that was a bit more rude than I was planning for, I apologize afterwards
Interrupting someone for me is something to apologize but I do understand it would depend on the context
I feel called out.
There’s a saying that kinda caught on. If people want to listen to what you have to say they will stop. A lot of my experiences at least have to do with everyone else is so much faster with what they want to say and the thing I had in mind is from 1 idea ago and no longer relevant. If I had just talked when everyone else was talking it might have gotten though. It feels weird as hell to interrupt people but the ones who talk a lot never feel upset you butted in and the ones who care would wait for your input anyways.
Damn straight!
Though, if it’s not someone else speaking first, then it’s me wondering what exactly to say.
Ah! The art of respectfully inserting your word. A branch of magic.
Its important to not force anything here. Its FINE if theres just no opportunity to talk. It might come off as you beeing obsessed for validation or sth.
