I don’t know anyone who can cut hair and I can’t afford to pay 25 bucks to get my hair cut so I shaved off my fairly long hair. Now people feel its acceptable to come into my job and tell me their stupid fucking takes regurgitated from whatever they heard on fox news this morning. As I’m at work I can’t share my opinions on the issues they don’t begin to comprehend. Now I know why Marx had so much hair, its 
repellent
How does a person learn to sound like cornbread? I didn’t know I wanted that until just now.
I do an ok job of hiding it for the most part. If I’m drinking it really comes out. Or when I’m around a client for work and I’m not interested in dealing with serious conversations beyond work related things I let it slide back into the twang and vocabulary.
If one day I had healthcare and access to testing I might get tested for the 'tism but I’m pretty positive I’m ADHD at an absolute minimum.All that to say that I usually feel like I’m pretending to be human in most social interactions, and letting people around me feel as though I’m like a lot of people around here lets me keep the interaction to the necessary minimum. Unless I’m feeling froggy, and my social battery is charged… then I’m ready to walk conversations into theory without the buzzwords so maybe it’ll cook in their head a bit.
I hope you’re able to get some healthcare soon. Recently getting diagnosed with adhd and finding a therapist who helps people with adhd has made a giant improvement in my life over the last couple of years.
I have to prioritize other things, it just doesn’t have a place in the budget. Absolutely least of which is a piece of paper that tells other people my brain works a little differently. I’m totally averse to taking medication for ADHD, I “self meditated” for years with “trailer park meff”. Clean for over 5.5 years now and I don’t plan on taking any sort of stimulants for anything. The most caffeine I drink in a day is 2 cups of coffee every morning.
Besides that, I absolutely do not struggle with it. Since I’ve allowed my scatterbrained ass to shine unimpeded depression never gets a chance to take hold as my brain “turns the page” to something else when I start to go down, I never ever ever get bored, I have hobbies (you could probably call them rotating special interests, but whatever) that I love to learn about. And more than all that I found happiness. Like I might not look forward to everything I need to do but I’m genuinely excited that I’m here today. Every day. After spending so much of my life in full self destruct mode and really really just not wanting to be alive, it feels amazing. It took over 30 years for me to figure out and accept myself and I’m pretty fuckin fond of the person I am.
Yeah I’m super excitable, yeah when I’m in my moment I appear manic as hell. My attention span for things that aren’t my special interests may be shorter than convenient, but I’m me. I love me, besides that it’s the only me I’m going to get. I’m supposed to be an individual and I embrace the hell out of that.
I’m not trying to just sit here and toot my own horn but if folks knew how my feelings for myself were so much of a polar opposite from that for the majority of my life… sorry I’m rambling.
I wouldn’t know what to do if my weirdness and eccentricities that I’ve finally embraced were to disappear or change. I take my qualities and quirks as a part of me and while they can be challenging, I far more often lean on them as the strengths they are for me and the way I handle things AND my happiness.
Would healthcare be neat? I’m sure. I wouldn’t know what to do with it though, never used it. I supposedly had fantastic coverage when I was a general manager of a Papa John’s, but I never had a chance or desire to use it.
I don’t take meds either. They did me more harm than good.
I’m glad you’re doing well without help. I was diagnosed a few years ago in middle age and didn’t understand what was going on with me until I learned about adhd.
Its been a struggle until the last year or so and now I’m doing better than ever. I’m glad to hear that you were able to figure out how to live a good life as well.
More than anything I’m glad you learned how to love and accept yourself, that’s the true key to a good life, at least in my book.