Good news if you’re short! Do whatever tf you want, your fate is sealed anyway.
If heaven is full of Christians I’m choosing hell
As I always said, considering the requirements, heaven must be the most boring place to end up.
Good Omens had it right, they have all the musicians.
I half remember a Harlan Ellison story where God decided that only man can judge man and put the religious leaders in power to get to determine who goes to heaven. So all the Screaming Mullahs and Pat Robertson types are running things. Harlan Ellison was an angry person.
“Short people and people who eat too much pork will also not go to heaven.” reminded me of this (SFW actually) Oglaf.
Tall people? Believe it or not, hell
Average height? Straight to hell.
Thought I got it working, oh well its just the guy from parks and rec who says “straight to jail”
Tapping doesn’t do it for me
So, like, if I qualify for all, do I get a bonus extra fun hell?
i got a scar tattooed over in 2021 and have several more scars i’d like to do the same with, i’m currently sitting here drinking and being under 6’, and also i don’t believe in heaven so i’m super fucked. who’s with me
Did the universe get a firmware update, so that heaven lives up to modern standards?
“You must be this tall to enter heaven.” Written on a wood cutout of St Peter holding his hand out just so high.
Oh well, at least I get to hang with the cool crowd.
Funny how we can’t go to heaven for all these “sins” and yet the Bible stars that Jesus died for all out sins before they happen.
Once again the Bible is proven as a joke. I hate how they believe the fairy tales in the book, but they won’t believe what is right in front of there eyes. Friggin bigots.
I pity them. The ones that actually believe that is.
If they could park their faith for just one minute and think clearly, they’d realise what’s up.
Their leaders that actually take their Lord’s name in vain? Predators. Grifters. Charlatans.
Don’t forget the pedophiles that work in the Catholic Church as priest they take a vow of celibacy so they think they can groom and rape the little boys.
And yet they think their going to heaven as they preach. Sick perverts. Like they said on that one episode of the Simpsons. God pointed out to homer that the clergy members aren’t allowed in heaven.
Jesus wept.
I’d actually forgotten about that for a blissful minute while writing that.
How much is too much?
Ohh shit. They got me with drinking. I should have started using drugs when I had the chance.
The list of people that can reach Heaven is very short, probably on purpose.
no can’t you read? the very short aren’t on the list.
Where’s the short cut-off?
deleted by creator
Not sure what’s more stupid
Googling this
Or
Believing it