There’s probably a better way to ask this, but when I say calling here, I’m trying to describe a line of work that you find tolerable and maybe even proud of yet perhaps somewhat separate from other interests/hobbies/passions.
Separate from those only because anyone that’s turned a hobby or interest into work (or tried to) can tell you how that can spoil them if not careful. To put it another way, some type of activity you’ve found you can live off of and keeps your interest/clicks with you?
Bonus if it’s also led you to organizations that seem to regard you as a person.
Coding just remained more interesting than most other things. The rare moments in “the zone” were like crack, back when I still got them.
Wouldn’t recommend doing it professionally though, it sure manages to suck every last bit of joy out of everything and turn it into something about as fun as dragging your balls across fifty miles of glass shards.